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Questions Northerns always ask when thinking of a move to the South

Started by POSTON WIDEHEAD, June 13, 2017, 08:46:13 PM

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POSTON WIDEHEAD

This was on our State Forestry Commission Employee Newspaper this month.

Questions Yankee Prospects Always Ask:

Just how big are the bugs down here?
Can the road to my house be paved?
Can alligators bite when swimming underwater?
Do grits grow on a bush or a tree?
Will my children be safe in the backyard with all the snakes you have down here?                                     Southern Business & Development
24 June 2017
The older I get I wish my body could Re-Gen.

thecfarm

Now if I could convince about a million more to enjoy the South.   ;D  I think everyone should do that.   8)
Model 6020-20hp Manual Thomas bandsaw,TC40A 4wd 40 hp New Holland tractor, 450 Norse Winch, Heatmor 400 OWB,YCC 1978-79

Delawhere Jack


yukon cornelius

I don't think I am really.....south, but the snake thing is real. Yesterday, as Henry (6) was flipping over rocks just like I told him not to do, he flipped one over and found a copperhead. He quickly lost his life due to acute shovel poisoning.

Our neighbors don't have goats but we do.

Our roads could be but won't be paved.

Our alligators do bite underwater because the are alligator snapping turtles.

Grits grow on the ground near sawmills.

Horseflies are huge and plentiful this year. I may even catch me a team of them to pull the van to Michigan for the pig roast. ;D
It seems I am a coarse thread bolt in a world of fine threaded nuts!

Making a living with a manual mill can be done!

paul case

Oh my you whacked your child to death for flipping rocks?

;D
I think I got it straight now.

PC
life is too short to be too serious. (some idiot)
2013 LT40SHE25 and Riehl edger,  WM 94 LT40 hd E15. Cut my sawing ''teeth'' on an EZ Boardwalk
sawing oak.hickory,ERC,walnut and almost anything else that shows up.
Don't get phylosophical with me. you will loose me for sure.
pc

Peter Drouin

I'm with cfarm, I know a bunch that might do well in the South.
For me, I'll stay on the Northen side of the Mass, NH line.
I have no questions or care what goes on down there.  ;D ;)
A&P saw Mill LLC.
45' of Wood Mizer, cutting since 1987.
License NH softwood grader.

red

We love taking all our Burmese Pythons for a walk/sliver in the Florida Everglades.
Honor the Fallen Thank the Living

coxy

Quote from: paul case on June 14, 2017, 12:50:43 AM
Oh my you whacked your child to death for flipping rocks?

;D
I think I got it straight now.

PC
:D :D

Don P

Huge, like one on each shoulder carry you away huge  :D

The DOT guy asked about paving the road years ago, they needed some more room and would straighten it some. His big selling point was "It'll increase your property value". Boy that was the wrong thing to say  :D

nativewolf

Quote from: thecfarm on June 13, 2017, 09:07:05 PM
Now if I could convince about a million more to enjoy the South.   ;D  I think everyone should do that.   8)

So it's your fault?  A million...they passed a million as soon as air conditioning and tv were invented.  Get rid of AC and TV and they'd be back in the NE.
Liking Walnut

WDH

The best way to solve this "questions" problem is for y'all to stay up there. 
Woodmizer LT40HDD35, John Deere 2155, Kubota M5-111, Kubota L2501, Nyle L53 Dehumidification Kiln, and a passion for all things with leafs, twigs, and bark.  hamsleyhardwood.com

petefrom bearswamp

I met a good ol Georgia boy a few years back while vacationing in the west.
He told me that there are yankees who stay up north and *DanG yankees who winter in the south and GD yankees who move south permanently
Kubota 8540 tractor, FEL bucket and forks, Farmi winch
Kubota 900 RTV
Polaris 570 Sportsman ATV
3 Huskies 1 gas Echo 1 cordless Echo vintage Homelite super xl12
57 acres of woodland

WV Sawmiller

   As to the bugs as a kid I heard 2 skeeters talking on my front porch Fla home. One asked the other "Should we eat him here or take him back to the swamp with us." The second skeeter replied "We better eat him here. If we take him back to the swamp the big boys will take him away from us."
Howard Green
WM LT35HDG25(2015) , 2011 4WD F150 Ford Lariat PU, Kawasaki 650 ATV, Stihl 440 Chainsaw, homemade logging arch (w/custom built rear log dolly), JD 750 w/4' wide Bushhog brand FEL

Dad always said "You can shear a sheep a bunch of times but you can only skin him once

coxy

Quote from: WDH on June 14, 2017, 07:34:47 AM
The best way to solve this "questions" problem is for y'all to stay up there.
I maybe wrong but didn't you fly south from the north  :) if not sorry  :D

paul case

I heard about a guy somewhere that started with a b in MS had been chased by a flock of skeeters. He took shelter in a chicken house and the skeeters landed on top and started perforating the roof with their stingers so the man found a hammer and started bradding them over and pretty quick the skeeters took off with the roof.

Just what I heard?

PC
life is too short to be too serious. (some idiot)
2013 LT40SHE25 and Riehl edger,  WM 94 LT40 hd E15. Cut my sawing ''teeth'' on an EZ Boardwalk
sawing oak.hickory,ERC,walnut and almost anything else that shows up.
Don't get phylosophical with me. you will loose me for sure.
pc

red

The way I heard it . . A flock of ducks flew in then the pond froze and they flew away with the pond . . must be the Northern Version
Honor the Fallen Thank the Living

Darrel

If I were to move south, would I also have three times as far east as I moved south or could I just move to Los Angels and be good?

:P :P :P
1992 LT40HD

If I don't pick myself up by my own bootstraps, nobody else will.

Magicman

I don't know what the perceived difference is between Oregon and Los Angeles, but I do know what it is between Los Angeles and the South.   :o   :D 
Knothole Sawmill, LLC     '98 Wood-Mizer LT40SuperHydraulic   WM Million BF Club Member   WM Pro Sawyer Network

It's Weird being the Same Age as Old People

Never allow your "need" to make money to exceed your "desire" to provide quality service.....The Magicman

tree-farmer

I have my own question I like to ask when outsiders wander up my mile of dirt road and end up at my place;

I giv'm my best wild man look and ask, "does anybody know where you are right now"?
Just a simple question, but that usually puts them to heading back down the road faster than they came up... :D
Old doesn't bother me, its the ugly that's a real bummer.

thecfarm

nativewolf,I don't want'em back. I'd like to clean out about a million more.  ;D  Than in the summer months a whole bunch of people come here.  ::)  Come winter time they are gone.  8) 
I live on a dead end dirt road,off from a dirt road too. Than they paved the dirt road.
Model 6020-20hp Manual Thomas bandsaw,TC40A 4wd 40 hp New Holland tractor, 450 Norse Winch, Heatmor 400 OWB,YCC 1978-79

WDH

Woodmizer LT40HDD35, John Deere 2155, Kubota M5-111, Kubota L2501, Nyle L53 Dehumidification Kiln, and a passion for all things with leafs, twigs, and bark.  hamsleyhardwood.com

21incher

We here in NY are sending you thousands every week. I had a cousin and her husband that recently moved to NC. They say that they hear constant gun shots 24 hours a day since moving in. Wonder if it is how you southerners take care of those big skeeters. ;D
Hudson HFE-21 on a custom trailer, Deere 4100, Kubota BX 2360, Echo CS590 & CS310, home built wood splitter, home built log arch, a logrite cant hook and a bread machine. And a Kubota Sidekick with a Defective Subaru motor.

Magicman

Reminds me about a preacher friend telling about traveling in the "back country" in Kentucky.  A guy stepped out, waved him down, and told him not to go any further.  I asked Bro. Reid what he did and he said that he turned around.  That he probably didn't want to see what was down that road anyway. 
Knothole Sawmill, LLC     '98 Wood-Mizer LT40SuperHydraulic   WM Million BF Club Member   WM Pro Sawyer Network

It's Weird being the Same Age as Old People

Never allow your "need" to make money to exceed your "desire" to provide quality service.....The Magicman

paul case

Quote from: WDH on June 14, 2017, 07:57:59 PM
Quote from: tree-farmer on June 14, 2017, 03:53:20 PM
"does anybody know where you are right now"?

:D :D :D
My answer.... The same place  everything just east of me was a little bit ago.

PC
life is too short to be too serious. (some idiot)
2013 LT40SHE25 and Riehl edger,  WM 94 LT40 hd E15. Cut my sawing ''teeth'' on an EZ Boardwalk
sawing oak.hickory,ERC,walnut and almost anything else that shows up.
Don't get phylosophical with me. you will loose me for sure.
pc

Sixacresand

A guy from Germany who was Visiting middle Georgia on company business sent an email asking if he needed to rent a four wheel drive vehicle at the Atlanta airport to get to our plant. 
"Sometimes you can make more hay with less equipment if you just use your head."  Tom, Forestry Forum.  Tenth year with a LT40 Woodmizer,

WV Sawmiller

  Not wanting to offend our northern brethren (And since I moved to WV I am no longer sure where we fit in the mix with a state that split off and joined the union but a big old Confederate memorial in the town square - but that's another story) but Dad always said we shipped our Riff Raff to ___ (I will not list the exact state lest I offend a specific group/state) and improved both places. :D ;D

   I would suggest to folks moving anywhere south of my current location to be sure to buy light colored vehicles with light upholstery and be prepared to pay big electric bills (which may be offset from the high heating bills they were already used to paying in the northern winters.

   As to the bugs you are not going to convince me the bugs down South are really that much worse than the blackflies and mosquitoes in the far north areas either.
Howard Green
WM LT35HDG25(2015) , 2011 4WD F150 Ford Lariat PU, Kawasaki 650 ATV, Stihl 440 Chainsaw, homemade logging arch (w/custom built rear log dolly), JD 750 w/4' wide Bushhog brand FEL

Dad always said "You can shear a sheep a bunch of times but you can only skin him once

snowstorm

Quote from: Sixacresand on June 14, 2017, 10:18:16 PM
A guy from Germany who was Visiting middle Georgia on company business sent an email asking if he needed to rent a four wheel drive vehicle at the Atlanta airport to get to our plant.
sorta like the guy that came to maine on bussiness in feb. after picking up his rental car he went to the hardware store and bought 3 shopping carts of tube sand . true story

POSTON WIDEHEAD

Quote from: WDH on June 14, 2017, 07:34:47 AM
The best way to solve this "questions" problem is for y'all to stay up there.

smiley_clapping materhead smiley_applause smiley_deadheader alligator smiley_trap_drummer smiley_guitarist
The older I get I wish my body could Re-Gen.

Darrel

Ain't from the south, never been there, not from the north neither, but I do like grits!  Can I come? ;D
1992 LT40HD

If I don't pick myself up by my own bootstraps, nobody else will.

YellowHammer

Living in the South is more of a state of mind than a place.  Ain't no place better.

When I was on a trip to Japan, everybody on both our American and Japanese envoys was being so dimplomatic and courteous.  Everything had to be just so.  There was one of those 5 foot diameter, big world globes sitting in the floor, and I walked over to it, spun it around and told the Japanese Senior Officer that the globe was mounted incorrectly and they should fix it.  Of course, this provoked an immediate concerned reaction and when they asked what was wrong, I said that everybody knows the center of the world runs through Alabama, and they should remount is so that is spins though there, instead of the poles.
Everybody got a good laugh, except that I meant it. :D

We had a customer from "up North" drive in the other day and ask since we were a sawmill, did we also sell fresh eggs from our chickens.  I looked around and asked him if he saw any chickens, because we don't have any, and if we did it would have been news to me. ???  He said that he thought everybody "down here" raised chickens.  :D. He then he asked if any of my neighbors had chickens and sold eggs, and I was about to get a aggravated with him until I realized one of my neighbors did sell chickens and eggs. :D.  I told him to drive down their gravel driveway real slow, so the neighbors wouldn't think they were "revenuers" coming to bust up their mooshine still.

YellowHammerisms:

Take steps to save steps.

If it won't roll, its not a log; it's still a tree.  Sawmills cut logs, not trees.

Kiln drying wood: When the cookies are burned, they're burned, and you can't fix them.

Sawing is fun for the first couple million boards.

Be smarter than the sawdust

Grizzly

I mostly enjoyed trucking in the south but I always got a bit uncomfortable with them waitresses putting their hands on my shoulders and calling me sweetheart and such things. I finally asked other drivers and was told "that's just southern hospitality!". So I may visit again but next time I'll be prepared.   ;D
2011 - Logmaster LM-2 / Chinese wheel loader
Jonsered saws - 2149 - 111S - 90?
2000 Miners 3-31 Board Edger

WV Sawmiller

Griz,

   Reminds me of the first time I got a haircut in Okinawa while stationed there in USMC. The barber started beating on my neck after she cut my hair and I thought she was mad at me. Come to find out they always give a neck massage after a haircut. It actually felt real good after i realized I was not being used for karate practice.

   In Saudi I got a haircut form a Turkish barber and he got a button and thread (like we used to buzz with when I was a kid) and used it to wind up and pull the fuzz off my cheeks. Stung a little but sure was smooth after.

   I Dubai a few years back on my way home from Afghanistan I got a haircut and the barber stuffed my ears and nostril with what looked like a Q-tip coated with bikini wax and jerked the hair out of them. Kind of smarted in the nose and he broke one off in my right ear and I thought I was going to have to pull it out with my Leatherman but he finally freed it. My wife said it helped reduce my snoring till the hair grew back.

   Different cultures have different views on what is socially permissible and acceptable and can be a little unnerving to the uninitiated. Heck, a lady in Indy once looked at me funny when I asked her to put cole slaw on my hot dog. She reluctantly complied but said it looked disgusting.
Howard Green
WM LT35HDG25(2015) , 2011 4WD F150 Ford Lariat PU, Kawasaki 650 ATV, Stihl 440 Chainsaw, homemade logging arch (w/custom built rear log dolly), JD 750 w/4' wide Bushhog brand FEL

Dad always said "You can shear a sheep a bunch of times but you can only skin him once

TKehl

I always figured if you could get sweet tea you were in the south, and if the waitress called you "hun", that's the deep south.   :D

Had a guy coming to my place that managed to get cell signal to see if he was at the right place.  Asked if we lived in a mobile home, had old cars, and dogs.  I said Yup.  He said he was at my place.  I looked out the window and said he wasn't.  Turned out he was at the neighbors two houses up the road.    ;D  Told him he needed to be more specific about what kind of dog out here.   :D
In the long run, you make your own luck – good, bad, or indifferent. Loretta Lynn

paul case

Howard,

Your stories about haircuts reminds me of a Ray Stevens' song, ''When you get a haircut you better go back home, get a barber you have known''.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1PnIuo4diqY

PC
life is too short to be too serious. (some idiot)
2013 LT40SHE25 and Riehl edger,  WM 94 LT40 hd E15. Cut my sawing ''teeth'' on an EZ Boardwalk
sawing oak.hickory,ERC,walnut and almost anything else that shows up.
Don't get phylosophical with me. you will loose me for sure.
pc

gspren

  You don't need to be too far south to hear "Hun", I worked at Aberdeen Proving Ground, MD which is only 30 miles south of the Mason Dixon line and when I was 50 years old and got an office job it came with a secretary that called everyone hun. One Sunday evening there was a message on our home phone that went "Hey Hun I'm going to be a little late tomorrow", luckily my wife also knew her so wife just laughed and said that's Ruthie.
Stihl 041, 044 & 261, Kubota 400 RTV, Kubota BX 2670, Ferris Zero turn

florida

One of the benefits of living in south Florida is that we only have two "industries" home building and tourism and those two are closely related.  The Northerners and Canadians come down for a warm vacation, fall in love and buy a house. Obviously the main benefit is that we all work in one of those two industries. The main benefit is that due to the tourists and Yankees we have the best mosquito control in the world. In spite of living in what is really mostly swamp they just aren't a problem. I can't even remember when the last skeeter bite I had. So when people ask about bugs I tell them we don't have any.
General contractor and carpenter for 50 years.
Retired now!

WV Sawmiller

Paul,

   Ray Stevens came to mind as I was writing my recollections. We had a Norwegian exchange student who collected all his stuff while she was here and on her return visits. I think her favorite was "Eric, the Awful"  followed closely by teaching Charlene to drive and the little blue-haired lady in the Oldsmobile.

TKehl,

   Your comment reminds me that Northerners coming south also need to know it is permissible and expected to put more than 2 ice cubes in a glass of tea. We had a German daughter (another exchange student) who got hooked on a glass full of ice while she lived with us for the year and I packed 3 extra ice trays in her bags to take home with her when she went home. (She also had a pair of yardstick marked suspenders from Lowes for her grandpa and a coonskin cap to wear when she got off the plane so I figure we trained her well in the time we had her.) For some reason up north and in Europe people don't understand about the proper use of ice. If your nose does not get cold draining the glass you don't have enough ice in it.
Howard Green
WM LT35HDG25(2015) , 2011 4WD F150 Ford Lariat PU, Kawasaki 650 ATV, Stihl 440 Chainsaw, homemade logging arch (w/custom built rear log dolly), JD 750 w/4' wide Bushhog brand FEL

Dad always said "You can shear a sheep a bunch of times but you can only skin him once

derhntr

Never knew what order these fall in you'uns, us'uns an we'ins.   ;D
2006 Woodmizer LT40HDG28 with command control (I hate walking in sawdust)
US Army National Guard (RET) SFC

btulloh

I hear more people from all over using "y'all" now.  They should teach proper usage in school, 'cause it can be tricky. 

People from the wrong part of the country think we use "y'all" to refer to not only the collective "you all", but also to an individual.  I can see where they would make that mistake, but generally it's always used to refer to the collective, not the singular.  (I think the exceptions occur because someone from The South has been watching movies or tv with Southern characters played by people from Hollywood.)

To clarify, if I was talkin' to John (all by hisself) when I was gettin' a Yoohoo at the fillin' station, I might say: "So what are y'all doing for the holiday?".  If someone from the wrong part of the country heard me, they would think I was referring to John in the singular as "y'all".  People from down here would know that I was asking "What are you and Bettie Jane and the kids doing for the holiday?". 

So that's how it works.  "Y'all" is not used to refer to a single person, but is often used when addressing a single person who's family or friends happen to be somewhere else at the moment.  It's that simple, y'all.
HM126

POSTON WIDEHEAD

Quote from: btulloh on June 28, 2017, 06:15:27 PM
I hear more people from all over using "y'all" now.  They should teach proper usage in school, 'cause it can be tricky. 

People from the wrong part of the country think we use "y'all" to refer to not only the collective "you all", but also to an individual.  I can see where they would make that mistake, but generally it's always used to refer to the collective, not the singular.  (I think the exceptions occur because someone from The South has been watching movies or tv with Southern characters played by people from Hollywood.)

To clarify, if I was talkin' to John (all by hisself) when I was gettin' a Yoohoo at the fillin' station, I might say: "So what are y'all doing for the holiday?".  If someone from the wrong part of the country heard me, they would think I was referring to John in the singular as "y'all".  People from down here would know that I was asking "What are you and Bettie Jane and the kids doing for the holiday?". 

So that's how it works.  "Y'all" is not used to refer to a single person, but is often used when addressing a single person who's family or friends happen to be somewhere else at the moment.  It's that simple, y'all.


I don't get it.  :D :D :D
The older I get I wish my body could Re-Gen.

WDH

"Do you think that I will get redbugs?"

Yes   :D :D :D. 
Woodmizer LT40HDD35, John Deere 2155, Kubota M5-111, Kubota L2501, Nyle L53 Dehumidification Kiln, and a passion for all things with leafs, twigs, and bark.  hamsleyhardwood.com

POSTON WIDEHEAD

Quote from: WDH on June 28, 2017, 09:10:57 PM
"Do you think that I will get redbugs?"

Yes   :D :D :D.

OMG!  :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
The older I get I wish my body could Re-Gen.

Peter Drouin

A&P saw Mill LLC.
45' of Wood Mizer, cutting since 1987.
License NH softwood grader.

YellowHammer

Quote from: POSTONLT40HD on June 28, 2017, 09:20:20 PM
Quote from: WDH on June 28, 2017, 09:10:57 PM
"Do you think that I will get redbugs?"

Yes   :D :D :D.

OMG!  :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Only if you set down on the stoop.  O'course, southerners know to lookit before they set. 
YellowHammerisms:

Take steps to save steps.

If it won't roll, its not a log; it's still a tree.  Sawmills cut logs, not trees.

Kiln drying wood: When the cookies are burned, they're burned, and you can't fix them.

Sawing is fun for the first couple million boards.

Be smarter than the sawdust

LaneC

   Don't forget about fire ants. You best be looking real close at whatever you are about to sit on or kneel on. they will leave pretty little white bumps all over you  :D. ( :D everywhere they bite, a little bump that looks just like a pimple pops up and itches as well as hurts ) (The explanation is for our Northern friends)
Man makes plans and God smiles

Magicman

First I ain't staying, but are there any questions that I should or should not ask my Northern Friends?
Knothole Sawmill, LLC     '98 Wood-Mizer LT40SuperHydraulic   WM Million BF Club Member   WM Pro Sawyer Network

It's Weird being the Same Age as Old People

Never allow your "need" to make money to exceed your "desire" to provide quality service.....The Magicman

Stoneyacrefarm

Magic,
Make sure you try the chowdah while you are up here.
And don't ask for directions.
Ya can't get theyah from heeyah.
Work hard. Be rewarded.

Bruno of NH

I don't know about red bugs you southern folks can come up and have some see me nots and take them home  :)
Lt 40 wide with 38hp gas and command controls , F350 4x4 dump and lot of contracting tools

Banjo picker

We already got no see ums.  If they come from up there...come and get them pronto.  Banjo
Never explain, your friends don't need it, and your enemies won't believe you any way.

WDH

He is bringing red bugs.  A veritable Typhoid Mary of red bugs. 

BEWARE!!!!!!!!!!!
Woodmizer LT40HDD35, John Deere 2155, Kubota M5-111, Kubota L2501, Nyle L53 Dehumidification Kiln, and a passion for all things with leafs, twigs, and bark.  hamsleyhardwood.com

Bruno of NH

Lt 40 wide with 38hp gas and command controls , F350 4x4 dump and lot of contracting tools

WDH

Woodmizer LT40HDD35, John Deere 2155, Kubota M5-111, Kubota L2501, Nyle L53 Dehumidification Kiln, and a passion for all things with leafs, twigs, and bark.  hamsleyhardwood.com

gspren

   I researched it and a red bug appears to be a chigger with lip stick, at least they should be easier to see.
Stihl 041, 044 & 261, Kubota 400 RTV, Kubota BX 2670, Ferris Zero turn

POSTON WIDEHEAD

Quote from: gspren on June 30, 2017, 04:22:18 PM
   I researched it and a red bug appears to be a chigger with lip stick, at least they should be easier to see.

:D :D :D
The older I get I wish my body could Re-Gen.

Magicman

Knothole Sawmill, LLC     '98 Wood-Mizer LT40SuperHydraulic   WM Million BF Club Member   WM Pro Sawyer Network

It's Weird being the Same Age as Old People

Never allow your "need" to make money to exceed your "desire" to provide quality service.....The Magicman

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