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Care Givers thread

Started by pineywoods, May 29, 2014, 09:32:38 PM

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Jim_Rogers

Quote from: hacknchop on June 18, 2014, 12:13:09 AM
Jim_Rogers
I know its hard now but keep it up you are doing the right thing and when its all over you will have the satisfaction of knowing you stuck it out and did all you could this is what is called setting the right example for others as to what it means to honor your parents.Most people would rather see a sermon than hear one. You are doing the best you can and thats all anyone of can do,keep it up.

Thanks for your kind words.

Jim Rogers
Whatever you do, have fun doing it!
Woodmizer 1994 LT30HDG24 with 6' Bed Extension

sawguy21

 Karen had a heart attack Tuesday. She came home yesterday, now I need to keep an eye on her so she doesn't over do it.  ::)
I came home from work Friday completely used up, nothing left in the tank. I need to learn to pace myself, I am no good to her flat on my back. Those of us in a care giver role tend to forget to look after ourselves but we are not invincible especially as we get older. I think many of us feel guilty if we feel we are not doing enough. My cousin looked after her husband then her mother in their final illness. She has never seemed to be able to pick up the pieces and move on once alone, she doesn't know what else to do with her time. She is reasonably healthy at 74, financially comfortable, but has never been able to develop new interests. Do what we can for others but let's not forget #1.
old age and treachery will always overcome youth and enthusiasm

pineywoods

sawguy, sorry to hear that kind of news. You got it right tho, #1 rule, take care of the caregiver...I use a gadget that helps to lighten the load somewhat. Similar to the medical alert systems you see advertised on tv, but with a couple of different twists. No monthly fees, no connection with ambulance service or 911. Waterproof pendant on a necklace cord, when activated, it sounds a LOUD alarm, then dials my cell phone. If  don't answer ,it calls a neighbor. I put my cell phone in my pocket and go to the shop or sawmill. Several other nice features, and the price is reasonable. PM me for details if interested..I hope and pray that the wife continues to improve, meanwhile accept the fact that both your lives are forever changed, just take it one day at a time....The challenges are not in-surmountable
1995 Wood Mizer LT 40, Liquid cooled kawasaki,homebuilt hydraulics. Homebuilt solar dry kiln.  Woodmaster 718 planner, Kubota M4700 with homemade forks and winch, stihl  028, 029, Ms390
100k bd ft club.Charter member of The Grumpy old Men

pineywoods

OK, time for a little humor. Caregivers will understand, others may not  ;D I have 2 real close friends who have disabled spouses. We lean on each other a lot. One of them, lets say his name is Fred, has a wife with severe arthritis, all her joints are completely seized, she can barely feed herself. Fred is a small man, so to handle the lifting chores, he purchased a portable electric patient lift. This morning, he plans to use the lift to get her out of bed and into a wheel chair. Gets her into the sling, lifts above the bed, and swings around over the wheel chair, hits the down button and nothing happens,  dead battery. Now Fred's spouse is well know for a sharp tongue. She hangs suspended 4 feet off the floor, giving Fred @#^%*($, while he goes off looking for the battery charger. He won't say how long it took to find and hook up the charger, but he apparently took his own sweet time.  ;D Sometimes caregivers have to do odd and unusual things just to preserve our sanity..
1995 Wood Mizer LT 40, Liquid cooled kawasaki,homebuilt hydraulics. Homebuilt solar dry kiln.  Woodmaster 718 planner, Kubota M4700 with homemade forks and winch, stihl  028, 029, Ms390
100k bd ft club.Charter member of The Grumpy old Men

Jim_Rogers

We use a patient lift to get my mother up when she slips off the edge of the bed onto the floor.
She did that three times last weekend, but didn't get hurt.
I've had to go to adding a "bed alarm" under her sheet so that I'll know when she's trying to get up without telling me she wants to get up.
It works good. It woke me up at 10;45 pm, 12:15 am, 2:45 am cause she couldn't sleep.
Well you know what, I couldn't either with that alarm going off all night long.
How's that for some humor.

But anyway, if you need one the one I got is great. It is wireless and shoots the signal at least 150 feet from the base unit. The receiver can be plugged in to the wall outlet or it can run on three "C" size batteries.
I can hear it nicely here in my shop/office 135 ft from the house.

I also got a "baby" monitor.

When we were little kids back in the 50's my mother would call us to come home by blowing a whistle out the kitchen window. Well we still have that whistle and I've been telling her every day since she got home from rehab to "blow the whistle" if she wants me. And I'd hear it and come help her.
She doesn't understand about the monitor and hasn't asked me what that little white unit with the green light on that's on her bureau is all about either.
After about two weeks of telling her I could hear the whistle if she needed my help, she blew it the other night, while I was here in the office reading the FF.

And I went right into the house and got her up and got her a cold drink of lemonade.

Isn't 1950's technology great, batteries not needed..... for the whistle. Everything else needs them. The monitor is nice and I can hear her TV over it just fine.
The receiver for the monitor can receive up to 500 ft and can be plugged into the wall outlet and when not plugged in it runs on batteries.

The other latest thing we got was a semi electric hospital bed. It has worked out pretty good but she doesn't like the hand rails on the sides and lately one of them has been down on the side where she gets in and out. But with the bed alarm, I'm not too worried.

July 11th, she'll be 95 years young.

Thanks for letting me vent and comment.

Jim Rogers 
Whatever you do, have fun doing it!
Woodmizer 1994 LT30HDG24 with 6' Bed Extension

hardtailjohn

Wow Jim, that sounds lots like my Dad. 
When it rains, it seems to pour....  We've been doing ok with dealing with Dad for the past month or so. My wife and I are now staying in their spare room at night, so we can hear him if he's trying to get up or having any problems, and he's pretty good about calling for Kate anytime he needs something. We did go to the baby monitor, and that helps, as we have the fireplace between his hospital bed and our bedroom door, so the monitor lets us relax a bit more.  Mom is stressed out about him (they've been married 62 years..she's kind of used to having him around!) but very realistic about his situation, but it's still getting to her. She's having muscle problems in her back from the stress, so when she goes to sleep, she doesn't hear anything until morning.
Just when we were getting settled into the routine, our oldest daughter lost her baby (about 8 months along), so Kate had to head to NE to be with her. This changed the game just a little, as we'd been able to switch off a bit, and get some rest. Now I'm the one.  I've been sleeping in a recliner right next to his bed at night, as I don't want to miss him needing me, and it's going pretty well, but sure is tough to get much rest an hour at a time!  Last night he slept very soundly from about 11pm to 1am, then rolled over on his remote for the hospital bed, and cranked the head of it almost straight up. Poor guy was having a heck of a time trying to figure out what was up. As soon as I got it cranked back down, he was out like a light until about 4am. 
He and I have never had a real "buddy" type of relationship, but he's still my Dad and I love him dearly, and it's not easy to see him in this condition.
Kate gets home tonight at midnight, so at least we can start to get a little rest again, and I can get back to haying in the daytime.
It's sure not the easiest route to take, but I'd never let him be in a home or hospital for his last days. It'd put a quick and miserable end to him, as he's been an outside guy all his life...ranching, packing, hunting, logging, etc... and hates to be "cooped up" as it is. We're keeping all the drugs to a minimum, as much as we can, but want to keep him as comfortable as possible....sometimes that's a real "juggling act" all in its own.  The "Home Health Care" nurses that come by each morning are a true blessing, as is Hospice, and most of all my wife, Kate. I don't know what we'd do without them!!
I'm so far behind, I think I'm ahead!

Jim_Rogers

Thanks for all you comments.

Lately, my step daughter and her husband have been here while I was away this past weekend to a conference.
This did not go as well as we had hoped.
Mother has taken a "dislike" to her for some unknown reason.
She is calling her names and being a major pain in the ash. When she is her.

I was hoping that these two would be able to replace my sister as she doesn't seem to "get it" as to what is needed to take care of Mother.

Jim Rogers
Whatever you do, have fun doing it!
Woodmizer 1994 LT30HDG24 with 6' Bed Extension

pineywoods

I'd like to point all you caregivers to a web site that I jokingly refer to as "caregivers supply" I have no connection to this firm except as a very satisfied customer. www.ats-tn.com is a small mom and pop operation, just plain good folks. They stock all sorts of handy devices. Anything to make life a little easier for caregivers.My church has purchased over a dozen of their "no monthly fee" medical alert units and placed them with needy elderly folks. 
1995 Wood Mizer LT 40, Liquid cooled kawasaki,homebuilt hydraulics. Homebuilt solar dry kiln.  Woodmaster 718 planner, Kubota M4700 with homemade forks and winch, stihl  028, 029, Ms390
100k bd ft club.Charter member of The Grumpy old Men

Gadrock

I guess I am the lucky one right now. My wife and I do not have any day to day requirements like you guys do.

Several years ago my dad who had always been a pretty healthy dude got sick...pancreatic cancer. The end came fairly quick compared to what some people have to exist through. But we became close to a new term to us...hospice. Prior to that I had no real understanding for their services.

We all learned to appreciate the services provided by our hospice group as they performed flawlessly. And we all learned that things could be very bad for us with out them too. So many people here may not have any experience with hospice I can state right now "that if you have no experience with hospice then go out and start shopping." Some others told us their experience was not nearly as comfortable as ours was.

And then we were exposed to their services a few more times. Again our experiences were fantastic for such a horrible subject.

David G


carry on
LT40 G18,   bent Cresent wrench,   broken timing light
Prentice 280 loader, Prentice 2432 skidder, Deere 643J fellerbuncher, Deere 648H skidder, Deere 650H Dozer

hardtailjohn

This leg of the journey is over. Dad passed on Sunday morning. He woke up about 5am and wanted some breakfast and sat and joked with us while drinking coffee. The Home Health Care nurse (also a neighbor) had given him a bath and he was joking with her also. He sat up and slumped over. A very peaceful end.  He'd had some really awful nights the past couple weeks, as he was having reactions to some of the drugs that Hospice had recommended. We finally took him off all of them and had him down to a couple Aleve and Melatonin as needed, and he was doing much better... clear headed and in good spirits.
It was a journey I was somewhat apprehensive about to start with, but looking back, I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. Dad's main wish was to die at home, and I'm proud to have been able to give him that final gift.  He didn't want any memorial or service, but instead would be honored to have anyone donate to a child related charity to help a kid.
It's been a rough month, as our oldest daughter just lost her baby that was due in September, about 2 weeks ago. They have narrowed it down to the doctor giving the "Tdap" shot, which is for whooping cough and tetnus, as it's not been tested on pregnant women. The more they research it, the more they find cases of this happening, so please if you know anyone that is pregnant, tell them to do their research and make an informed decision before taking that shot.
John

 
I'm so far behind, I think I'm ahead!

Jim_Rogers

Sorry for your loss.

Jim Rogers
Whatever you do, have fun doing it!
Woodmizer 1994 LT30HDG24 with 6' Bed Extension

WDH

John,

May your Dad rest in peace. 
Woodmizer LT40HDD35, John Deere 2155, Kubota M5-111, Kubota L2501, Nyle L53 Dehumidification Kiln, and a passion for all things with leafs, twigs, and bark.  hamsleyhardwood.com

WmFritz

~Bill

2012 Homebuilt Bandmill
1959 Detroit built Ferguson TO35

Magicman

I wish that we could have met him John, but in his condition, I know that it would not have been his wish.

Our condolences are with you, your Mom, and your family during this time of grief.

We will see you in about a month.   :)
Knothole Sawmill, LLC     '98 Wood-Mizer LT40SuperHydraulic   WM Million BF Club Member   WM Pro Sawyer Network

It's Weird being the Same Age as Old People

Never allow your "need" to make money to exceed your "desire" to provide quality service.....The Magicman

pineywoods

John, thanks for posting this. Condolences to you and all your family. You are truly an inspiration to caregivers everywhere...
1995 Wood Mizer LT 40, Liquid cooled kawasaki,homebuilt hydraulics. Homebuilt solar dry kiln.  Woodmaster 718 planner, Kubota M4700 with homemade forks and winch, stihl  028, 029, Ms390
100k bd ft club.Charter member of The Grumpy old Men

thecfarm

Sorry to hear of your Dad's passing.
Model 6020-20hp Manual Thomas bandsaw,TC40A 4wd 40 hp New Holland tractor, 450 Norse Winch, Heatmor 400 OWB,YCC 1978-79

Jim_Rogers

I took my 95 year old mother to the Doctor's yesterday for a regular 3 month check up.
The nurse tried to get her blood pressure, 62 over 40.
The doctor came in and tried to get her blood pressure, 60 over 40.
Took her to the ER and they got a much higher blood pressure, but put her on a IV for fluids and she is there overnight until they sort out her medications.
One for her heart was way too high and most likely they will stop that one completely.

She was not happy about being there and pulled her IV out at least once while I was there.
She called me at 9 pm after telling me to get out at 6 pm. But I didn't hear my cell phone ring and didn't get the call. She most likely was calling me to ask me to "bring me home".... which was about all she'd say to me most of the afternoon.

Her problem is that she doesn't drink enough water. I get flavored water for her to make it more pleasant and she still doesn't drink enough.

Any suggestion about how to get her to drink more water?

I kept telling her that she was there because she wouldn't drink enough water but she doesn't like to be told what to do, very much any more.

Jim Rogers
Whatever you do, have fun doing it!
Woodmizer 1994 LT30HDG24 with 6' Bed Extension

hacknchop

Hows your mom? Did you get her back home yet? Hope all is better.
Often wrong never indoubt

hardtailjohn

None here Jim.... sure hope she's ok and home again!!  Dad would be obstinate like that with Mom or one of us kids, but he would listen to my wife. When all else failed, we'd have her tell him what to do and then it was no problem. Good luck!!
I'm so far behind, I think I'm ahead!

thecfarm

Good luck,Jim. My wife does not like to drink water. We have good water,has to be tested through the state due to her cooking licence. But we brought some bottled water for a trip we was taking. She really likes it! She has been drinking water more now.
Model 6020-20hp Manual Thomas bandsaw,TC40A 4wd 40 hp New Holland tractor, 450 Norse Winch, Heatmor 400 OWB,YCC 1978-79

Jim_Rogers

Quote from: hacknchop on September 12, 2014, 06:52:05 PM
Hows your mom? Did you get her back home yet? Hope all is better.

We, my sister and I, brought Mother home from the hospital Friday.

My sister stayed with her overnight as I had an "on site" job planned for Saturday.

She is basically ok now. They changed a lot of her medications and hopefully that will be better.

Thanks for all your comments and prayers.

Jim Rogers
Whatever you do, have fun doing it!
Woodmizer 1994 LT30HDG24 with 6' Bed Extension

pineywoods

Many of us are getting to the age where we have family members who are no longer mobile. Some of us are looking that possibility in the face. One option that comes up is wheelchairs. Looks like a simple decision, but NOT. Picking the right equipment can make a huge difference in the quality of life. The wrong decision can add to an already miserable lifestyle. 
The first option is usually a simple foldable manual wheelchair like this


 
Beats nothing but not by much. Clumsy to operate, especially by someone not in good physical condition. Uncomfortable is not an adequate description. The seat is a sling, the back is vertical, and no headrest. Any thing more than an hour or so borders on pure torture..OK for trip to doc or transfer from one room to another in the house.  Don't rent, buy USED.

Next option is usually what's known as a handicap scooter, three or 4 wheels. Don't waste your time. Usually have comfortable seats, but the things are large, clumsy and not very maneuverable. I went this route for my wife but found it unsatisfactory. She needed a power steering option..Absolutely useless inside the house unless you have rooms the size of a gym.

OK, what about power wheel chairs. Joystick control, so no physical requirements. Again, it ain't quite simple, there are several options. First, small lightweight units for indoor use only. Not recommended because they are usually rather squirrely to drive. The castering front wheels make for an unstable vehicle. The seats are usually rather basic with no adjustments.


 

Here's some more options


 

The chair on the left in this pic is considered a high end type. All 6 wheels are load bearing, both front and rear wheels swivel. Not quite as squirrely as the one above, but still a bit unstable. The real problem is driving over door thresholds or starting up a ramp. The front wheels will lift most of the weight off the middle driving wheels, causing loss of traction.

The other two in this pic are the best we have found. They are identical except for color, use one and keep the other plugged in to a charger.. Not obvious in the pic is the 2 small front wheels. They don't swivel, and clear the floor by a couple of inches, only purpose is anti-tip. This puts most of the weight on the larger-than normal drive wheels. Result is a machine that is quite stable, easy to drive and even works well over rough terrain. Like granny in the blueberry patch


 

1995 Wood Mizer LT 40, Liquid cooled kawasaki,homebuilt hydraulics. Homebuilt solar dry kiln.  Woodmaster 718 planner, Kubota M4700 with homemade forks and winch, stihl  028, 029, Ms390
100k bd ft club.Charter member of The Grumpy old Men

Jim_Rogers

In this thread, I wrote about my mother and family dealing with her for the years.

Every month the traveling hairdresser would come to the house and do mother's hair on the second Tuesday of the month.

I would take a picture of mother with her new hair do, and post it on facebook for all my highschool friends and family to see.

She usually had a smiling face:



 

On June 24th while I was in the house with her, she got up out of her wheelchair to get into bed alone. I mean without my help. And fell on the floor and broke her hip.

They put in a new hip on June 29th, and she came through the operation (at 96 years old) fine.

They sent her to a rehab place to get her strong enough to stand up at a walker.

They really had a hard time getting her to stand up.

This past Sunday morning they gave her breakfast and came and got the tray as she was awake and ate her breakfast.

The went in at 9 am to check on her and she had passed away.

So, there are no more "happy Tuesdays".

6 days after her 97th birthday.

Calling hours are today, funeral is tomorrow at 1 pm so no sawing as the sawmill is closed.

Obit here: http://obituaries.eagletribune.com/story/Bernice+Elaine-Rogers-1919-2016-808285411

Jim Rogers
Whatever you do, have fun doing it!
Woodmizer 1994 LT30HDG24 with 6' Bed Extension

Dan_Shade

Please accept my condolences, Jim
Woodmizer LT40HDG25 / Stihl 066 alaskan
lots of dull bands and chains

There's a fine line between turning firewood into beautiful things and beautiful things into firewood.

Czech_Made

Sorry for your loss, Jim.

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