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Care Givers thread

Started by pineywoods, May 29, 2014, 09:32:38 PM

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pineywoods

I've debated starting this thread for some time. I read every post on every board, and I see mentions of care giving all over the forestry forum. This will give us a common place to swap information that may be of use to others, whether you just see after mom in the nursing home or have a special needs child. Being a care giver can be one of the most demanding jobs one can imagine, but can also be very rewarding. As for me, I have been a full-time 24/7 caregiver for my handicapped wife for 15 years. Any help I can pass on to others will be forthcoming. I maintain a large fleet of mobility devices, lifts, kitchen aids, ramps, you name it, anything that makes life a little easier, I probably am familiar with.
It seems that all threads eventually turn to food, so I'll go ahead and get that over with. Anybody on blood thinner, stay away from leafy green veggies. They are loaded with a coagulant compound that counteracts most blood thinner drugs. Dang good excuse reason to forgo the spinach and turnip greens..
1995 Wood Mizer LT 40, Liquid cooled kawasaki,homebuilt hydraulics. Homebuilt solar dry kiln.  Woodmaster 718 planner, Kubota M4700 with homemade forks and winch, stihl  028, 029, Ms390
100k bd ft club.Charter member of The Grumpy old Men

thecfarm

We plan on getting old in our house. We have all 3 foot doors. A walk in shower, a high toilet,no overhead cabinets,just draws. Open a draw and look down into it.Wife been in a wheelchair,3-4 times. It sure does help that she can get around in the house. Everything is on one floor.
Model 6020-20hp Manual Thomas bandsaw,TC40A 4wd 40 hp New Holland tractor, 450 Norse Winch, Heatmor 400 OWB,YCC 1978-79

hacknchop

Looked after my FIL till he passed he was in a wheelchair since my wife was about 6 yrs old she cared for him all her life pretty much.Now our health is bad so we take turns looking after one another I have diabeties and a nagging heart condition she has rheumatoid arthritis and a very painfull condition called pancreatitus which i didnt even know existed
but were managing alright we own qnd operate what was her father live bait and rock shop business and i still run my sawmill and skidder and almost forgot caregiving is a big part of our lives.Thanks for starting this thread.
Often wrong never indoubt

sawguy21

It is a very demanding task. My wife's needs are increasing due spinal stinosis, type two diabetes and advancing age. She is also a cancer survivor. A few times I have felt like I was at the end of my endurance with no one to turn to. Will be good to get some ideas and have the opportunity to share support.
old age and treachery will always overcome youth and enthusiasm

goose63

Thanks for starting this pinneywoods now I know not to eat the green stuff. when I was 12 or 13 I had to  help take of my grandpa and it can be a lot of work
goose
if you find your self in a deep hole stop digging
saw logs all day what do you get lots of lumber and a day older
thank you to all the vets

trapper

My wife takes care of her aunts financial and health affairs. Her aunt is  in a nursing home and it seems my wife is running 3-4 days a week taking care of her aunts things.
stihl ms241cm ms261cm  echo 310 400 suzuki  log arch made by stepson several logrite tools woodmizer LT30

pineywoods

Quote from: trapper on May 31, 2014, 12:21:33 AM
My wife takes care of her aunts financial and health affairs. Her aunt is  in a nursing home and it seems my wife is running 3-4 days a week taking care of her aunts things.
Yeah, there is a whole lot more to caregiving than feed um and tuck them in..Seems like something new just about every day...and the honey-do lists grow by leaps and bounds..
1995 Wood Mizer LT 40, Liquid cooled kawasaki,homebuilt hydraulics. Homebuilt solar dry kiln.  Woodmaster 718 planner, Kubota M4700 with homemade forks and winch, stihl  028, 029, Ms390
100k bd ft club.Charter member of The Grumpy old Men

Stinny

Quote from: pineywoods on May 29, 2014, 09:32:38 PM
I've debated starting this thread for some time. I read every post on every board, and I see mentions of care giving all over the forestry forum. This will give us a common place to swap information that may be of use to others, whether you just see after mom in the nursing home or have a special needs child. Being a care giver can be one of the most demanding jobs one can imagine, but can also be very rewarding. As for me, I have been a full-time 24/7 caregiver for my handicapped wife for 15 years. Any help I can pass on to others will be forthcoming. I maintain a large fleet of mobility devices, lifts, kitchen aids, ramps, you name it, anything that makes life a little easier, I probably am familiar with.
It seems that all threads eventually turn to food, so I'll go ahead and get that over with. Anybody on blood thinner, stay away from leafy green veggies. They are loaded with a coagulant compound that counteracts most blood thinner drugs. Dang good excuse reason to forgo the spinach and turnip greens..

Great idea to start a thread Piney. Caregivers, especially of family members, are a unique group. My wife and I took care of my Dad for a year before cancer took him and then my Mom for 15 years after. Last 2 were dealing with her dementia which had it's moments. It's been 9 years since she passed and my wife and I still miss both of them a lot. As difficult as it was at times, we would do it again in a heart beat.

You folks who are caretakers, be very sure to take care of yourself as well. Get someone to "spell" you once in a while, and always know you are doing a very good thing... even if your loved one can't understand sometimes.
Suzuki 4x4 on Tatou tracks tugging logs in winter

pigman

I have the privilege of seeing after my 89 year old mother-in-law. My late wife was an only child and I was chosen as her mother's care giver. At the present I only have to take her to Dr appointments and the grocery store. Her eye sight is failing, so the future is uncertain for her.   
Things turn out best for people who make the best of how things turn out.

hardtailjohn

How timely!!  I was searching for a "good way" to bring this subject up. I was sure I wasn't the only one. My wife and I are taking care of my Mom and Dad...mostly Dad. He's headed toward 92, and on oxygen full time now, and pretty much bedridden. We've set up a hospital bed in their living room and he spends the majority of the day there. His mind goes from time to time... sometimes so sharp it's amazing. He can still tell you the name of every  horse he's owned in the past 90 years... no kidding!  My wife, God bless her, is amazing with him! They butted heads many times since we've been married, but she's the one he calls for is something is wrong. She's amazing with him and I can't even begin to think of where I'd be without her here. I moved back "home" here to the ranch in '96 and promised Mom and Dad that I'd make sure they could stay as long as they want, and they both want to die right here, so that's what we're steering for. I think it's the least we can do for them.  However, I have 2 older sisters that are like a couple of buzzards, circling for the settlement....how sad. At any rate, thank you Piney, for starting this.... just knowing there are others that are doing this, helps....and it helps to get a bit of it off my chest too.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you all.
John
I'm so far behind, I think I'm ahead!

thecfarm

Buzzards,yep,my family too. ::)  My wife and I took care of my Mother. My wife does not work,so she was able to take care of her. She passed away at her home. We only did it for about 6 months. That was a long 6 months. Mom has alot of bad days towards the end. Not knowing us and thinking we was "bad people". We was just about home bound for that time frame.
Make sure any asserts are all set. Meaning a will.
Model 6020-20hp Manual Thomas bandsaw,TC40A 4wd 40 hp New Holland tractor, 450 Norse Winch, Heatmor 400 OWB,YCC 1978-79

Magicman

This thread touches my heart.  Pat and I have been continual caregivers in one way or the other since 1995.  Little did we realize when I retired in 1994 that life could make such abrupt changes.
Knothole Sawmill, LLC     '98 Wood-Mizer LT40SuperHydraulic   WM Million BF Club Member   WM Pro Sawyer Network

It's Weird being the Same Age as Old People

Never allow your "need" to make money to exceed your "desire" to provide quality service.....The Magicman

pineywoods

Sawguy21, I know the feeling. If you don't sometimes feel like you are at the end of your rope, you really have a problem. It really hit me hard. Went to bed looking forward to retirement with a happy, healthy vibrant mate, woke up the next morning a caregiver for life. When you feel like you just can't go on, ask yourself one simple question, "can I handle this for just one more day ? " OK, one more day. Get up tomorrow morning and ask the same question. In other words, take it one day at a time..I have a sister who is a psychiatric nurse, spends all day every day dealing with difficult, dis-abled, depressed people. She has been a real blessing for me. Dealing with the depression that almost always occurs can be even more demanding than caring for the physical needs. Been there, done that fairly successfully, hope I can pass on some of the means of coping...
1995 Wood Mizer LT 40, Liquid cooled kawasaki,homebuilt hydraulics. Homebuilt solar dry kiln.  Woodmaster 718 planner, Kubota M4700 with homemade forks and winch, stihl  028, 029, Ms390
100k bd ft club.Charter member of The Grumpy old Men

hacknchop

I can tell you one thing for sure it can be a real challenge to care for others but there no more satisfying feeling of accomplishment when  its over and you know you did all you could to ease someone elses pain and or suffering by being there for them and the rest of your family.
Often wrong never indoubt

pineywoods

Care giving has it's dangers, but you have to learn to laugh..Yesterday, I was on the front porch down on my knees re-potting some flowers for the wife. She cam barreling down the ramp in her power chair, and ran completely over my leg just below the knee. I got a hurting sore leg, an over extended ankle, and one hand jammed into a pot of prickly pear cactus.  :o
Them Dang electric power chairs are HEAVY..
1995 Wood Mizer LT 40, Liquid cooled kawasaki,homebuilt hydraulics. Homebuilt solar dry kiln.  Woodmaster 718 planner, Kubota M4700 with homemade forks and winch, stihl  028, 029, Ms390
100k bd ft club.Charter member of The Grumpy old Men

pineywoods

Don't sweat the small stuff. Most problems eventually become small stuff. Couple of examples.
She loves to get outside and ride around in the yard on her power chair. Big problem is MUD. Then up the ramp and into the house, tracking mud all over the floor. As a throwback to when she used to yell at me to wipe the mud off my feet before I come inside, I yell at her to wipe the mud off your wheels.  :-\  Of course, she can't, I clean up the mud  and it has become a private joke between us.
Then there is the modern version of the gordian knot. A couple of fairly extensive braces and a pair of orthopedic shoes, all with industrial strength velcro fasteners. All get thrown in a pile at bedtime. Next morning, there is no way she can un-tangle the mess, so I just laugh about it, pull them pieces of 4 inch velcro apart, and apply everything.
Don't sweat the small stuff   ::)
1995 Wood Mizer LT 40, Liquid cooled kawasaki,homebuilt hydraulics. Homebuilt solar dry kiln.  Woodmaster 718 planner, Kubota M4700 with homemade forks and winch, stihl  028, 029, Ms390
100k bd ft club.Charter member of The Grumpy old Men

ely

thanks for this thread, my wifes grandmother is nearing the final stages of althimers / demensia. she and her mother are going to look into a home that deals with those problems specifically tomorrow.
I know of the many ordeals that come from caregiving, and specifically I see the wear and tear on my mother in law as she has had to care for her mother full time for awhile now. the whole caregiver thing has its ups and downs with tears of laughter to tears of sadness in each day. the womans mind is basically gone and her husband is unable to help much with her care. his mind is perfect but his body is failing. he is 87ish. veteran of the Korean war and a joy to visit with. the man ran a sawmill and logged for most of his life. he just cant hear and you have to holler to talk with him. the saddest part is the two have been married since they were pups and I am afraid when she goes he will follow quickly.

pineywoods

ely, +1 on the wear and tear on the caregiver. It's very important to take care of the caregiver as well as the patient. Anyone who works at it 24/7 without a break is sooner or later headed for trouble, both physically and emotionally. I have been fortunate in having a lot of excellent advice from some people who knew what they were talking about. A caregiver needs to get out and away from it on a regular basis. Something as simple as a trip to an old fashioned barber shop can make a lot of difference. When I started this thread, what I hoped was that maybe there would be an exchange of ideas to help care for the caregiver as well as a patient..
Learn to laugh, btw, I'm still picking cactus spines out of my hand, it ain't very funny  ;D
1995 Wood Mizer LT 40, Liquid cooled kawasaki,homebuilt hydraulics. Homebuilt solar dry kiln.  Woodmaster 718 planner, Kubota M4700 with homemade forks and winch, stihl  028, 029, Ms390
100k bd ft club.Charter member of The Grumpy old Men

red

Lots of good info if you google Caregiver Oxygen Mask
Honor the Fallen Thank the Living

Bogue Chitto

Quote from: hardtailjohn on June 02, 2014, 12:02:56 AM
How timely!!  I was searching for a "good way" to bring this subject up. I was sure I wasn't the only one. My wife and I are taking care of my Mom and Dad...mostly Dad. He's headed toward 92, and on oxygen full time now, and pretty much bedridden. We've set up a hospital bed in their living room and he spends the majority of the day there. His mind goes from time to time... sometimes so sharp it's amazing. He can still tell you the name of every  horse he's owned in the past 90 years... no kidding!  My wife, God bless her, is amazing with him! They butted heads many times since we've been married, but she's the one he calls for is something is wrong. She's amazing with him and I can't even begin to think of where I'd be without her here. I moved back "home" here to the ranch in '96 and promised Mom and Dad that I'd make sure they could stay as long as they want, and they both want to die right here, so that's what we're steering for. I think it's the least we can do for them.  However, I have 2 older sisters that are like a couple of buzzards, circling for the settlement....how sad. At any rate, thank you Piney, for starting this.... just knowing there are others that are doing this, helps....and it helps to get a bit of it off my chest too.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you all.
John
John, you'r situation sounds like mine.  My wife does most of the caring for my dad.  She is the best. I don't see how she does it handling my dad , me and my two boy;s.   You are blessed to have such great wife.  God bless and good luck.

Barney II

My wife and myself kept her mother in our home until she was 100.  We started when she was 90 , she was wheelchair bound so it required extra care and remodeling of the house.  She was a handful but she was always of good nature.  She liked to come up and watch the sawmill.  As time went on it became a larger job for my wife.  We almost lost her due to our ignorance of care.  That was the last day and we headed to the rest home where she is getting the best of care----today she is 108 years young.  I think we had it easy when I read of others trials and tribulations.  I have the highest respect for all care givers.  God bless you all.      Don
Ya never know
Woodmizer  1985 lt30

pineywoods

helpfull hints ....velcro will destroy nylons.....3 wheel electric scooters are just like a childs tricycle, avoid them like the plague...wheel chairs and mobile homes are completely incompatible....Batteries on electric wheelchairs will expire at the worst possible time....Anyone who is dependent on electric wheelchairs, needs a spare, don't ask how I know.  Mechanical lifts out the side of a van are to be avoided if at all possible.
1995 Wood Mizer LT 40, Liquid cooled kawasaki,homebuilt hydraulics. Homebuilt solar dry kiln.  Woodmaster 718 planner, Kubota M4700 with homemade forks and winch, stihl  028, 029, Ms390
100k bd ft club.Charter member of The Grumpy old Men

Jim_Rogers

I've been caring for my almost 95 year old mother for a good part of the past five years. Luckily I have a sister that is close by and will come and stay over so that I can travel on business trips.

I had a brother who lived, literally next door and he never did a thing to help us.

I drove him to chemo and radiation treatments back a few years ago, three times a week or more. I even drove him to the hospital one Sunday morning after he collapsed on his kitchen floor from the drugs he was taking or not taking.

After he was declared a cancer surviver I asked him for help to take care of my mother one day a week, Sunday, so that I could have that day off to spend with my wife and daughter. And he said, no.

I wrote about this recently as he just passed away from complications of pneumonia.

My BIL this past Saturday morning chewed me out about how my mother was "suffering" living at home. He doesn't have a clue what it's like at these places that my mother has been in and out of over the last five years, as he never visited her there. He and my sister both live in PA. And only travel to MA once or twice a year as most.

They are here now because of my brother's death.

My brother lived in a small house that my father built back in the 50's for his mother. She lived there until she passed in 1968.
Now that my brother is gone, I'm going to sell this house to my neighbor who has been wanting to buy it for several years for his son.
And I'll use the money to take care of my mother for the rest of her life.
My grand mother (mother's mother) lived to be at least 98, (not sure). So I may have my mother here another three years or more.

Dealing with dementia is a challenge for sure.

Most of the elderly service people who come here to help me and my mom say I'm doing a great job. I just wish one of them would tell my brother in law that.

Jim Rogers

PS. thanks for starting the thread. 
Whatever you do, have fun doing it!
Woodmizer 1994 LT30HDG24 with 6' Bed Extension

thecfarm

My wife and I took care of my Mother. My brother and his wife would come up just about every other weekend. They always told me they get her supper for her. That helped me out. Than I was there after they left. There was a can of beans on the counter. I asked what that was doing there. It took a while,but I got it out of her. That was her supper!!! She could not use a can opener or the stove. Microwave oven was past her too. Eyesight not the best and her hands did not work the best either. She had all she could do to handle the remote to the TV.  ;D I never said nothing to them. Not worth it. I made sure she got her supper from than on.
It is so much easier to judge others when they are not there day after day,night after night. She was there when I was young,I was there when she got old.
Model 6020-20hp Manual Thomas bandsaw,TC40A 4wd 40 hp New Holland tractor, 450 Norse Winch, Heatmor 400 OWB,YCC 1978-79

hacknchop

Jim_Rogers
I know its hard now but keep it up you are doing the right thing and when its all over you will have the satisfaction of knowing you stuck it out and did all you could this is what is called setting the right example for others as to what it means to honor your parents.Most people would rather see a sermon than hear one. You are doing the best you can and thats all anyone of can do,keep it up.
Often wrong never indoubt

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