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Snake In The House

Started by plaindriver, June 26, 2013, 09:30:46 AM

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plaindriver

PREFACE: Wife=Naz. Recently retired from urban SoKalif. Moved to the Cumberland Plateau of Tn, rural 5+ ac home setting, a log cabin actually. Now I am a gentleman farmer & soon to be bandmill operator.  Wife also enjoying things. Well, except for one slight problem.
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Last Sunday morn, Fathers day, about 0800, Im peacefully checking the weather on my mainframe on the upstairs loft. Wife gets dressed after shower, then I hear this earth shattering scream, like 8 degrees beyond your garden variety hysterical scream. Then she repeats is, but louder! And Im nearly deaf.
Then she locks herself in the bathroom. Wont come out. I look downstairs and see this (harmless) little snake on the floor below. She is way beyond 'terrified' of any animal that is long and skinny that basically crawls with no legs. No such thing as a harmless snake. They're all black mambas! They are all killers and all snakes want to kill Naz. Cant reason with her. I went downstairs to check him out. Then I ask her, maybe 20 x for the camera, just drop it down to me over the rail. Wont come out of the bathroom. (I had to fetch it.)  She is demanding its immediate execution. So, I gather him up, put him in a muck bucket and take him out back. (I did convince Naz to hand me the handgun after the snake and me were outside.) In reality, this snake is our friend. He consumes rodents and mices. Totally harmless to humans. Out back, out of sight, I cap off three rounds and let the wife assume the snake is now enjoying 72 snake virgins. In reality, he escaped as evidenced below. I didnt have the heart to 'off' it. Meanwhile, Naz starts putting packing tape over all the floor vents. I reminded her that will negate the heater and A/C in the house. So I suggested we put wire mesh netting in the vents beneath the registers instead. Another chore for me on the farm.
Life is definitely interesting here in Tn. We are really enjoying and adapting well (other than this incident). She has seen perhaps 4 other snakes outside and looses it everytime. Two wks ago, a nabe sitting on his porch, maybe 1000' away thru the woods, heard the screams. Casually comments to his wife "Naz musta found herself
another snake." That one was no bigger than a pencil, again harmless. 

  

  

  

 










Kubota L4600 DT w/FEL, John Deere 750 4WD w/FEL, PH Digger,RotoTiller,Box Scraper,Disc;16, 18, 20" chainsaws;Troy Built 27T splitter; table saw, radial arm saw,turning lathe, chipper, small backhoe, Isuzu NPR 14' stakeside diesel truck; a wife that still likes me.

Den Socling

That's a funny story but what kind of snake was it? The head is rather triangular.

beenthere

Exciting time.
Daughter living in Dallas a few years back, and getting dressed for work in the dark while her husband was still sleeping. She was at the closet and standing on carpet, when thinking there was a hanger on the floor under her foot. Until it started wiggling. Realizing a "snake", she screamed and leaped onto the bed. Needless to say it was an abrupt awakening for dear husband. But they both survived. Now live in WI.  ;D

Another snake story, an Aunt was sitting on the toilet when glancing down to see a 4' snake coiled around the base. She made a screaming dash out the bathroom door. Never really heard in what condition or to what dress code. A remodel job left the basement open to the elements and some open plumbing in the walls was the apparent problem.
south central Wisconsin
It may be that my sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others

clww

Many Stihl Saws-16"-60"
"Go Ask The Other Master Chief"
18-Wheeler Driver

sandhills

planedriver, you have no idea how well our wives would get along  ;), good story.  The couple that lived in our house before us said once while she was in the basement shower a snake came up through the floor drain, guess which shower my wife won't use  :D.

Texas Ranger

OK. Probably told this story before.  Newly wed, some 45 years ago, and, as newly weds tended to do, sleep au natural.  And, at the time, I was the daily bread winner and came home tired, so went to bed before my darling wife.

Same story, piercing scream and wakes me up.  I get up to inspect the cause of such emotions and find my lovely wife standing atop the commode.  And in very precise, forceful, profane terms announced a snake in the hallway.  I turn lights on all over, and inspect as best I can after waking up to an insane woman.  No snake. 

I talk her down off the commode and comment it was a good thing the lid was down.  More commentary from my dear wife that was totally unexpected.  Back to bed.

I awake to a naked lovely wife astraddle me, shaking me, and calling bad names and saying she had found the snake.  I get up, put my boots on, find my walking stick, located snake (chicken snake) and dispatched it to snake heaven.  I then proceeded to receive a lecture about the country, snakes, that house, my apparent lack of parental guidance when it came to ladies, and a suggestion that perhaps, if I wanted to remain married, I should seal the house so that a fly could not enter. 

Oh, forgot an important part of the story, wife is from Long Island, NY.  A very civilized portion of the world, to  hear her say it. 

She has gotten better, over the years.  Screams are not near as loud.
The Ranger, home of Texas Forestry

plaindriver

Quote from: Den Socling on June 26, 2013, 09:43:05 AM
That's a funny story but what kind of snake was it? The head is rather triangular.

Its a harmless rat snake. Many snakes will inflate/flatten their heads and do the tail vibe thing to convince potential predators that they are venomous/dangerous. A poisonous snake will have a skinny neck and a pronounced triangular head, a substantially fatter bod, AND it will have oval eyes. THis guys clearly has round eyes. He is indeed our friend.

In our state, there are only two brands of V snakes, the copperhead and timber rattler. The TR is non existent near where we are. Copperheads are here but rare. I have a black king snake living in my barn. He will kill any copperhead he comes across. Thats why he is called King. He also eats mices. He is a super friend.
Kubota L4600 DT w/FEL, John Deere 750 4WD w/FEL, PH Digger,RotoTiller,Box Scraper,Disc;16, 18, 20" chainsaws;Troy Built 27T splitter; table saw, radial arm saw,turning lathe, chipper, small backhoe, Isuzu NPR 14' stakeside diesel truck; a wife that still likes me.

pineywoods

Happens here on occasion. I keep an old 22 revolver loaded with rat shot. Not nice to blow holes in the walls or floor. Had a neighbor who was squirrel hunting in some flooded woods paddling around in a boat. Big snake jumped out of a bush and landed in the boat. A 12 gauge shotgun at point blank range makes a big hole in the bottom of a wooden boat  ::)
1995 Wood Mizer LT 40, Liquid cooled kawasaki,homebuilt hydraulics. Homebuilt solar dry kiln.  Woodmaster 718 planner, Kubota M4700 with homemade forks and winch, stihl  028, 029, Ms390
100k bd ft club.Charter member of The Grumpy old Men

Texas Ranger

OK, another story.  Dad and I fishing in a john boat on the Meramac River in Missouri.  Fishing along a bluff with over hanging vegetation.  Nice shade, deep water, cool, and snaky.

Cotton mouth drops into the middle of the aluminum john boat.  In about 30 seconds I learned every cuss word my father knew, and he invented the live well with the wooden oar.
The Ranger, home of Texas Forestry

Den Socling

Apparently, my wife is unusual. Shortly after we were married we lived in a log house. At places the chinking was cracked. Patti was carrying clean laundry up the steps one day and there was a snake laying on a log. She didn't even tell me at the time. No bid deal. She has always been easy to love.

thecfarm

My wife is that way with mice. She has a fit every time the cat runs around,outside,with a mouse. Once the cat tired to come in the house with his prize. She just about fell over the chair running backwards.
Model 6020-20hp Manual Thomas bandsaw,TC40A 4wd 40 hp New Holland tractor, 450 Norse Winch, Heatmor 400 OWB,YCC 1978-79

clww

Wait until you get a snake curled up under your pillow, like I had about a year ago. zzzz_smiley  Now THAT'S exciting, no matter what species of snake. :o :o :o
Many Stihl Saws-16"-60"
"Go Ask The Other Master Chief"
18-Wheeler Driver

Ernie

With all these exciting tales, I am almost sad that there are no snakes in New Zealand ;D
A very wise man once told me . Grand children are great, we should have had them first

beenthere

QuoteWait until you get a snake curled up under your pillow, like I had about a year ago.

Or in the bottom of the sleeping bag, and ya touch it when all zipped up and then stretch your feet out.  ::) ::)
south central Wisconsin
It may be that my sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others

clww

That would not be good! :D
Many Stihl Saws-16"-60"
"Go Ask The Other Master Chief"
18-Wheeler Driver

Texas Ranger

Ernie, we would be more than happy to ship you some. 8)
The Ranger, home of Texas Forestry

Axe Handle Hound

Quote from: Texas Ranger on June 26, 2013, 10:34:06 AM

I awake to a naked lovely wife astraddle me, shaking me, and calling bad names and saying she had found the snake. 

Haha...wasn't sure where that story was headed there for a moment.    :D

thecfarm

Good eye Axe handle,I missed that the first time.  ;D
Model 6020-20hp Manual Thomas bandsaw,TC40A 4wd 40 hp New Holland tractor, 450 Norse Winch, Heatmor 400 OWB,YCC 1978-79

Sixacresand

Most snakes won't hurt you.  But They all will make me hurt myself trying to get away from them.  :D
"Sometimes you can make more hay with less equipment if you just use your head."  Tom, Forestry Forum.  Tenth year with a LT40 Woodmizer,

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