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My dog is a RETARD.

Started by POSTON WIDEHEAD, November 01, 2012, 03:55:05 PM

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POSTON WIDEHEAD

My dog, EMMA, goes to my sawmill, plays in our yard with the kids and is the perfect watch dog at night. She has her own bed, with a blanket. She wakes us up every morning at 5 am......good dog.

She has a bad habit. When cold weather moves in and I start building a fire in the fireplace......she goes TOTALLY nuts with excitement. When my son and I go to get firewood, she tries to help carry it, but it's a little heavy for her jaws. She will end up carrying in a piece of bark.....while wagging her tail frantically.

After the fire is built she will stand there and look at it until she gets so hot, you can't put your hand on her. We have been hearing a bang at night about 2 times a week. When this happens, I get up and run in the family room to see what happened. We thought she was falling off her bed during sleep because she would just be standing there beside her bed and the fireplace.

Last night while waiting on Trick or Treaters.....she got up on the hearth in front of the fire. No big deal....so I kept watching her and it wasn't long, she closed her eyes standing up. Her breathing got real deep like she does while sleeping. She started wobbling back and forth and.....BAM.....fell flat in the floor! I wasn't ready for that and my camera would not take a pic that fast. But I did get pics of her standing up there and a pic of her sound asleep. When she fell in the floor, she got right back up there and sat back on the hearth. A little embarrassed. Now I know where the BANG was coming from in the night......my RETARD dog....Emma.


Emma getting warm.


 

Emma SOUND asleep.


 
The older I get I wish my body could Re-Gen.

Leigh Family Farm

You know dogs take most of hteir traits from their owners...just sayin... :D :D :D :D
There are no problems; only solutions we haven't found yet.

POSTON WIDEHEAD

Quote from: kilgrosh on November 01, 2012, 03:59:45 PM
You know dogs take most of hteir traits from their owners...just sayin... :D :D :D :D
:D :D Now that I think of it, I have dozed off before and fell over.  :D :D
The older I get I wish my body could Re-Gen.

LOGDOG

That's awesome. Dogs bring a lot of humor into a person's life. My bassethound goes NUTS when I vacuum. I mean crazy. And it last for hours afterwards. She can't get enough of me. Climbs on top of me and just has to be right there all happy and such. She insists that I vacuum her. Same goes with the hair clippers if I decide to cut my hair. She has to have the clippers rubbed on her back. I think she likes the vibration. It's so bad though that it gets in the way of us vacuuming. So the other night, I had my wife load up the dogs and take them for a drive while I vacuumed the whole house. I called her when it was safe to bring them back. No problem.

Emma's a pretty girl.  ;)

PC-Urban-Sawyer

Quote from: POSTONLT40HD on November 01, 2012, 04:13:51 PM
Quote from: kilgrosh on November 01, 2012, 03:59:45 PM
You know dogs take most of hteir traits from their owners...just sayin... :D :D :D :D
:D :D Now that I think of it, I have dozed off before and fell over.  :D :D

Yeah, but when I did it involved barley based drinks...


Raider Bill

My Dog is fat and lazy. She hardly twitches her tail even for steak. She does no tricks or anything funny at all :D

The First 70 years of childhood is always the hardest.

clww

Ain't nothin' wrong with that dog! I do the same thing every year! :D
Many Stihl Saws-16"-60"
"Go Ask The Other Master Chief"
18-Wheeler Driver

drobertson

Well I guess we all have some retards in the K-9 family then. 
only have a few chain saws I'm not suppose to use, but will at times, one dog Dolly, pretty good dog, just not sure what for yet,  working on getting the gardening back in order, and kinda thinking on maybe a small bbq bizz,  thinking about it,

SPIKER

Just hope she dont fall towards the fire....   Would hate to see her get hurt ya know.

Our dog has more DREAMS than any dog we ever had.   He has them all the time arfing growling and kicking his legs a few times kicking himself into something waking himself up...   Really pretty funny and when he is going pretty good I'll toss in a couple Getem boy getem boy ya should see him go then, :D 8) ::)  It was pretty good once he half awake and jumped up ran right into the woman bout knocked her down as she was standing in front of him giggling at him.

mm
I'm looking for help all the shrinks have given up on me :o

DR_Buck

Quote from: Raider Bill on November 01, 2012, 05:22:05 PM
My Dog is fat and lazy. She hardly twitches her tail even for steak. She does no tricks or anything funny at all :D

Quote from: kilgrosh on November 01, 2012, 03:59:45 PM
You know dogs take most of hteir traits from their owners...just sayin... :D :D :D :D
Been there, done that.   Never got caught [/b]
Retired and not doing much anymore and still not getting caught

Misfit

Picture removed by poster so as not to be offensive to anyone or non-PC.
I am neither a Philopolemic Blatherskite nor a Bloviating, Sialoquent Blatteroon.

"Say nuthin and saw wood."

Magicman

That is what I would call a "Hot Dog".
Knothole Sawmill, LLC     '98 Wood-Mizer LT40SuperHydraulic   WM Million BF Club Member   WM Pro Sawyer Network

It's Weird being the Same Age as Old People

Never allow your "need" to make money to exceed your "desire" to provide quality service.....The Magicman

POSTON WIDEHEAD

Quote from: Magicman on November 01, 2012, 09:28:14 PM
That is what I would call a "Hot Dog".

I knew this was coming......I just didn't know who from.  :D
The older I get I wish my body could Re-Gen.

grweldon

That is Hilarious Poston!  Sure would love to see a video of that!  You could win some money on America's Funniest Videos!
My three favorite documents: The Holy Bible, The Declaration of Independence and The Constitution of the United States.

metalspinner

Poston,
Our dogs could be little mates! Other than the bit of white on emma's nose, they look just the same.

Sophie also will hop onto the hearth and warm up a bit.  She doesn't put in the effort to bring in firewood, though. She just mooches off of my labor.   :D
I do what the little voices in my wife's head tell me to do.

Raider Bill

Quote from: DR_Buck on November 01, 2012, 08:43:34 PM
Quote from: Raider Bill on November 01, 2012, 05:22:05 PM
My Dog is fat and lazy. She hardly twitches her tail even for steak. She does no tricks or anything funny at all :D

Quote from: kilgrosh on November 01, 2012, 03:59:45 PM
You know dogs take most of hteir traits from their owners...just sayin... :D :D :D :D

A lot of truth to that statement :D :D
The First 70 years of childhood is always the hardest.

asy

OK, So, I'm actually a bit sad it's not hot enough here to have a fireplace (my house doesn't even have a heater in it)...  Maybe she's trying to bake herself?

Must say, I had to read your post out to the kids, and they were laughing. Steph said 'What? Dog sleeps standing up? - She's almost as retarded as our dog!'. 

Our dog is utterly retarded too...  seriously bizarre, she SCREAMS - like someone's cutting her throat, for simple things, like... aaah, someone walking out the back door. IF someone walks out the back door of our house, and Sophie's in the lounge room, she gets up and RUNS SCREAMING MANIACALLY to the back door, in case she misses out on noms (food) which is out on the back deck.

I am seriously waiting for the day when the RSPCA comes to the door because someone's heard her from the street and thinks I'm doing bad things to her. Another way to get her to scream is to have a squeaky toy and not give it to her. That makes her scream too, and jump up and down like a pogo-dog.
I must take some video of it. I'll take it and post it in this thread, you'll be amazed.

Then we can have antipodean retard dogs :D
Never interrupt your opponent while he's making a mistake.
There cannot be a crisis next week. ~My schedule is already full..

sawguy21

 :D Our toy poodle does that when she gets excited, a high pitched bark/scream that hurts my ears. She also stands up and dances on her back feet.
old age and treachery will always overcome youth and enthusiasm

Holmes

I have three dogs that make  Raider Bills dog sound exciting... :) ;D 8)
Think like a farmer.

tcsmpsi

Oh...I guess I'm a retard, too.  I thought that's what one is supposed to do by the fire.  Ahhh, yes......that warmth finding its way deep into those joints....relaxing......Zzzzzz....   :D
\\\"In the end, it is a moral question as to whether man applies what he has learned or not.\\\" - C. Jung

POSTON WIDEHEAD

Quote from: Holmes on November 02, 2012, 01:05:32 PM
I have three dogs that make  Raider Bills dog sound exciting... :) ;D 8)

RAIDER BILLS dog does nothing but stay in heat.  :D
The older I get I wish my body could Re-Gen.

drobertson

After thinking about it a bit, don't we kinda cozzy up to the fire as well.   
only have a few chain saws I'm not suppose to use, but will at times, one dog Dolly, pretty good dog, just not sure what for yet,  working on getting the gardening back in order, and kinda thinking on maybe a small bbq bizz,  thinking about it,

Sprucegum

"The Cremation of Sam Magee" comes to mind....

doctorb

My lab Buzz goes crazy when someone new is outside.  He just wants to get out there and meet and greet.  His "spirit" can be a little tiring, though, like when he took the plumbers phone off his belt and ran around the yard for an half hour daring anyone to try and take it away from him.  Phone still worked.
My father once said, "This is my son who wanted to grow up and become a doctor.  So far, he's only become a doctor."

Raider Bill

Quote from: POSTONLT40HD on November 02, 2012, 06:15:20 PM
Quote from: Holmes on November 02, 2012, 01:05:32 PM
I have three dogs that make  Raider Bills dog sound exciting... :) ;D 8)

RAIDER BILLS dog does nothing but stay in heat.  :D

Even that would be too much effort for her. She's so lazy she won't even jump up on the couch to sit in my lap just stands there and whines till I pick her fat butt up.
Spends most her time sitting by a A/c vent. panting.
The First 70 years of childhood is always the hardest.

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