Good Friends

[GoStumpy]

Magicman just to lighten things up " a friend will help you move , a good friend will help you move a body"    But seriously the "footprints" message is one that stands out in my mind.

*DanG, you beat me to that one

[Okrafarmer]

Welcome, GoStumpy! ;D

[Magicman]

Welcome to the Forestry Forum, GoStumpy.  You have come to a very friendly place here.  Pull up a "stump" and share some of your forestry/sawing interests.   

[mooleycow]

burning bridges, too many bridges.  misses will probably have to hire mourners when i die.  my professing christian neighbor accross the street ask me did i think it was his place to help me when i needed help.  i help my neighbors when they ask and offer to help when they don't ask.  i suppose i ain't their kind.sometimes we move to a  mistake place.  got 2 people named ray they help me, but they never let me help them. 

[Magicman]

The world is made up with some strange cookies.

[Bill Gaiche]

GoStumpy,welcome aboard. bg

[GoStumpy]

Thanks again!   8)

Don't find a board this welcoming very often! :P

[pinebugsrus]

A real friend will dull his favorite ice fishing chisel, chopping frozen ground to find your backed up septic tank in January. 

[Bibbyman]

Mary and I have been each other's best friends for some 45 years now.  I have a few buddies that I've developed from meeting on the Forum.  But our friendship is connected by the sawmill business.

Mary's older brother and I bummed around a lot before he died at age 53.  He was a bachelor that loved food, guns, food, books, and more food.  He'd draw me into hunting, gun shows, shooting matches, etc.  Once he passed away,  I lost most interest and time for such activates.  Son Chris, when he was home, got me out hunting and such a little but he's moved off now.  We text about daily.  Seems he still needs some advice from Dad at times.  Or maybe he's just humoring me.

There are a couple of farmer brothers that have pretty much taken over our farm – pasturing and putting up hay and doing a lot of fence and field work.  They will jump in and help with about anything I asked them to do and are a great resource as they have a lot of equipment to get about anything done.  We don't exchange any rent for the use of the farm so it's pretty much payment in trade.  Friends or mutual exchange?

Mary is the one I worry about.   She talks with a lot of people (mostly ol'farts) but she really does not have a close friend.  I'd think most women have another woman as a close friend.  One to talk about relationships, childbirth,  kids, home and garden work, women crafts, trade romance novels, etc.  Someone to go shopping with, take the kids to the movies, etc.  Not Mary.  She has three sisters – one older and two younger that all live around us but for some reason they have grown apart.  That is, Mary and the other three.  The two younger sisters are close and the older sister and her daughter are close to the younger two.  But Mary is not included.  She runs into them here and there maybe once a year by accident but are little more than any other neighbor that you see occasionally.   

I often chuckle.  Mary answered the door last summer and a young farmer was there to conduct some business.  We've known him for years.  He gets to telling Mary all about the troubles he's been having with his big round bailer.  He'd tried this brand of belt and had this problem and on and on for over an hour standing in the hot July sun.  Then a few days later the two farmer brothers were over and they started up a conversation about bearing problems they were having with their big round bailer.  They talked at length about it. 

Why would these men think Mary would be interested in the mechanical problems of their big round bailers?  These cases are not uncommon.  I'm often astounded at men talking over mechanical and construction problems and details with her.  I've never overheard one asked her how she bakes her cookies or if she's planted flowers this spring. 

Mary made a quick run to town yesterday on business and had to pick up a few things.  When she got home she said she'd been home sooner but she ran into the wife of one of our occasional customer.  The woman filled Mary's ear with all her health problems and other news.  Mary says, "I hardly know the woman!". 

[thurlow]

Not sure why this thread reminded me of this.  Two acquaintances (couldn't really call 'em friends) of mine...........they were both 8-10 years older than me; this was in the 80s and one was getting his divorce finalized.  Our court house sets on 'court square' in the middle of our little country town;  the whole upper floor consists of a court room and related offices.  One had gone with the other for moral support;  there was a break in the proceedings and they'd walked out of the courtroom and were standing at a window overlooking the street below.  A bob-truck with sideboards went by and since they were above it, they could see its contents;  it was full of furniture.  The one who wasn't getting the divorce says to the other, "That looks like my furniture."  When he got home, the house was empty;  it WAS his furniture and he didn't have a clue that his marriage was in trouble.  His wife filed that same day for divorce.  He has since remarried, but his ex has stayed single and goes to our little country church.  I often think of that day when I see her................

[Roxie]

Bibbyman, you make me smile.  Not all women require females as friends, and it has been my observation that it's a choice they make.  Like Mary, I have sisters too, and I wish only the very best for them, but we have absolutely nothing in common.  They go shopping and to the beach, but I despise shopping and I loathe the beach.  They talk about hair and getting their nails done, and if I go to a hairdresser once a year, it's because I have a gift certificate and nothing better to do that day.  I garden and like to plant flowers, but I don't like talking about doing it, I just enjoy doing it.  As for talking about relationships, that might be something that other people seem to enjoy, but why?  I've had gals yak at me non-stop about how upset they are, or what should they do about *insert crisis here*, and frankly, I don't enjoy the drama.  Perhaps Mary isn't lonely, she just enjoys the peace.   

[sandhills]

Roxie you beat me to it!  I have to say my wife is almost just like that.  She is however very close to her sister and sis in law, they don't live close but do talk a lot to one another.  She would rather hang out and help the guys at the salebarn than spend a day shopping though.  My wife likes her walks, that's her time after work to be alone and think, she's a nurse so she gets to hear about a lot of peoples problems whether she knows them or not.  She's asked me a few times to go for a walk with her and it only takes me a second to remind her that by the time we reach the end of our 100' driveway and I'm ready to sit down for a break she'd already be 2 miles down the road somewhere  ;D.   

[Patty]

There is a song out there that says "I need a friend who doesn't need me" (I think it is a Doors tune) Anyway many so called friends are just too needy, and take up way too much of my time. I try to eliminate them as quickly as possible.

I do have one friend from high school who lives near here, and we get together for coffee. We have many of the same interests, so it is fun to go look at her flower beds and gardens and then show mine to her, and we enjoy going to the swimming pool together to slide down the slides and goof off (Neither of us knows anyone else who would do such a thing  ). But she does not call, nor nag on me to go do stuff all the time.. however I know she's got my back if I need her.

I am not one to go shopping daily, or to just sit around and gossip all day, or to yak on the phone for hours on end. I am most content to stay home and putter around with my own hobbies, and go to the gym for a workout (my new favorite pastime). I enjoy my time alone or with Norm.

[Okrafarmer]

My wife likes talking to the girls, but she has quickly learned not to enjoy the city girls. The lipsticknailpolishshoppinghairdressingonebabyisenoughgossipingperfumehusbandbashingvainandselfish girls.

Mrs. Okra is a very humble and personable lady, and she likes to associate with other humble and personable ladies.

Sometimes it is important to remember that people don't fit in the same shape of box. It's dangerous to say, "well, he's a man, so of course he likes cars" or "well, she's a lady, so of course she likes flowers" or whatever. Each of us is very different, and that is a good thing in the long run, because otherwise we would be bored out of our wits.

[Brucer]

Patty:

"I need a brand new friend who doesn't bother me
I need a brand new friend who doesn't trouble me
I need someone and who doesn't need me"

Hyacinth House on the L.A. Woman album.
Music by Ray Manzarek
Lyrics by Jim Morrison

Barb & I have been best friends for close on to 39 years. Neither of us has much use for gossip and chit-chat so our respective friends tend to be people who have common interests.

[Norm]

One of my favorite Doors songs Bruce.

I will say Patty's without a doubt my best friend.

I have an old buddy I've known since I was 7 years old. We talk maybe once every week or two and get together maybe once or twice a year. But I know if I ever need anything he'd be there and vice versa. Other than that my buddy I farm with and a couple of other guys but we don't socialize outside of work. My favorite time of day is after all the work is done and equipment put away. Patty and I sit back with a couple of beers before supper and discuss the day.

[wesdor]

Many years ago we met a woman in Germany who came to spend a summer with us the next year.  She was 65 years old at the time and we were 30 years old.  The next summer we returned to Germany and spent time not only with her, but traveled to Frankfurt where we met her son.

While we were eating breakfast, he remarked to me that Americans had so many friends (he opened his arms in a huge circle) but the Germans had only a few friends (he took his thumb and index finger and made a tiny circle).  I replied that perhaps this was true, but he quickly told me that this was not something to be proud about.

He then said, "let's turn this like a pizza so you can see the side."  In America your friends are only thin crust (and he held his thumb and index finger together nearly touching).  "But in Germany our friends go so deep (and he extended both arms as far as they could go).

He charged me with a very serious task.  "You are a German friend of my mother. Please do not forget this."

We wrote many letters (she never became an internet user), returned to her home every other year,  and were in her home just 2 months before she died at age 92. 

Today when we return to Germany we have several graves that we visit of a handful of our "German" friends.

I hope sharing this experience adds just a little bit to many of the touching words on this thread.

***
This has been an awesome thread.  Thank you MagicMan for starting it.

[Patty]

The luckiest people in the world are married to their best friend.  I am so glad to be lucky in that respect.

[Magicman]

Due to some family drama, this past Tuesday night after 10:00, I needed some legal papers notarized.  There was one person in the whole world that I could call and know that he would respond.  He came to his business, turned the copy machine on, and we waited until almost midnight before the signers were satisfied with the documents and finally signed them.  He made copies, notarized them, and made sure that everyone was satisfied before he closed his doors.  A good and longtime friend.

[Okrafarmer]

Sorry about your family drama, MM.  :-\

[Magicman]

Thanks.  That Good Friend was there when he was needed.

He, another friend, and I are the same age and all share the same Birthday month.  Sometime in July, we will gather our wives and have our annual Birthday Supper.