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Murphy's other laws.

Started by Okrafarmer, August 29, 2010, 11:27:43 PM

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Okrafarmer

I think we all know about Murphy and his law. "If anything can go wrong, it will." Well, I'd like to think that was only Murphy's most famous law. Here's what this post is about: That law by Murphy has to have been his first.

(btw, here is Wikipedia's entry about it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murphy%27s_law )

So we are going to list all his laws, starting at the beginning. I will list as many as I can think of. Number them as they go, picking off where the last person left off!

1. If anything can go wrong, it will.
2. The skidder only breaks down if you're three miles back in the woods.
3. The trick always works every time except when you're demonstrating it.
4. The surest way to ensure you won't need something is to take it with you.
5. If you decide to leave something behind, you will surely need it.
6. You never end up with any use for that thing you've kept for twenty years until four days after you irretrievably throw or give it away.
7. You can go for ten miles at night without meeting anyone coming the other way, until three seconds after you decide to put your bright headlights up.
8. If a machine can "get" you, it will.
9. If you're going somewhere and forget to take something, it will always be that one thing without which it is impossible to do what you went for.
10. The cop never stops you for going 5 over the speed limit except the one time you forgot and left your wallet at home.
11. A falling tree gravitates toward the most expensive object in its circumference.
12. All knives, watches, sunglasses, and cell phones will be lost or destroyed before they can be worn out.
13. The cat never throws  up on the rug unless you have company over.
Your turn. . . .

He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. Psalm 91:1

Operating a 2020 Woodmizer LT35 hydraulic for Upcountry Sawmill, Dacusville, SC

Now selling Logrite tools!

Writing fiction and nonfiction! Check my website.

sprucebunny

14, If there is a defective part on the shelf, it will be the one I take home.
MS193, MS192 and an 026  Weeding and Thinning. Gilbert Champion sawmill

jdtuttle

15. If you want to hit metal: Put a new band on ;D
jim
Have a great day

Okrafarmer

16. It won't rain unless you leave the windows down on your vehicle. Then it will pour two inches before you can get to it and close them.
He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. Psalm 91:1

Operating a 2020 Woodmizer LT35 hydraulic for Upcountry Sawmill, Dacusville, SC

Now selling Logrite tools!

Writing fiction and nonfiction! Check my website.

JohnG28

17. The week you take off for vacation is the worst week of the summer.
Stihl MS361, 460 & 200T, Jonsered 490, Jonsereds 90, Husky 350 & 142, Homelite XL and Super XL

scgargoyle

18) When both of your hands are covered in nasty grease/oil/gunk, you will have an itch.
I hope my ship comes in before the dock rots!

John Bartley

The first corollary to Murphy's law : Murphy was a raving optimist....
Kioti DK35HSE w/loader & forks
Champion 25hp band mill, 20' bed
Stihl MS361
Stihl 026

pineywoods

The NASA addendum to murphy's law..anything that can go wrong will, and it will happen at the worst possible time..
1995 Wood Mizer LT 40, Liquid cooled kawasaki,homebuilt hydraulics. Homebuilt solar dry kiln.  Woodmaster 718 planner, Kubota M4700 with homemade forks and winch, stihl  028, 029, Ms390
100k bd ft club.Charter member of The Grumpy old Men

Okrafarmer

19. The phone only rings at the worst possible time. (ie,  see #18.)
He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. Psalm 91:1

Operating a 2020 Woodmizer LT35 hydraulic for Upcountry Sawmill, Dacusville, SC

Now selling Logrite tools!

Writing fiction and nonfiction! Check my website.

PC-Urban-Sawyer

20. Herb Collary: If you have a 50/50 chance of getting it right, 90% of the time you'll get it wrong...

John Mc

Quote from: John Bartley on August 30, 2010, 04:36:43 PM
The first corollary to Murphy's law : Murphy was a raving optimist....

I had heard that one as:

O'Toole's Observation: Murphy was an optimist
If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.   - Abraham Maslow

Jeff

21.  If you get a windfall of cash from somewhere, this will cause either the refrigerator, washing machine or your vehicle to break or need to be replaced for at least an equal or greater amount of money.
Just call me the midget doctor.
Forestry Forum Founder and Chief Cook and Bottle Washer.

Commercial circle sawmill sawyer in a past life for 25yrs.
Ezekiel 22:30

BBK

Murphy's ultimate corolary.

Whenever time, money, effort and expertise has been exhausted toward the solution of a particular problem, and the result has been complete failure, the actual solution will be immediately obvious to the first unqualified person who happens along.   ???
I love Farming, Logging, Sawmilling, Fishing, and Hunting.

SPIKER

Fish only bite two days a week, the day before I go fishing and the day after!

if it aint broke dont fix it, if it is broke your too late to fix it right.;)
(which goes with) There is not enough time or money to fix it right but there is time/money later to fix it again and again and again....


Mark
I'm looking for help all the shrinks have given up on me :o

Okrafarmer

Quote from: BBK on August 31, 2010, 11:40:38 AM
Murphy's ultimate corolary.

22.Whenever time, money, effort and expertise has been exhausted toward the solution of a particular problem, and the result has been complete failure, the actual solution will be immediately obvious to the first unqualified person who happens along.   ???
He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. Psalm 91:1

Operating a 2020 Woodmizer LT35 hydraulic for Upcountry Sawmill, Dacusville, SC

Now selling Logrite tools!

Writing fiction and nonfiction! Check my website.

Okrafarmer

Quote from: SPIKER on August 31, 2010, 07:17:46 PM
23. Fish only bite two days a week, the day before I go fishing and the day after!

24. if it aint broke dont fix it, if it is broke your too late to fix it right.;)
(which goes with)
25. There is not enough time or money to fix it right but there is time/money later to fix it again and again and again....


Mark
He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. Psalm 91:1

Operating a 2020 Woodmizer LT35 hydraulic for Upcountry Sawmill, Dacusville, SC

Now selling Logrite tools!

Writing fiction and nonfiction! Check my website.

Okrafarmer

26. As soon as you buy a new computer, it was obsolete the week before.
He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. Psalm 91:1

Operating a 2020 Woodmizer LT35 hydraulic for Upcountry Sawmill, Dacusville, SC

Now selling Logrite tools!

Writing fiction and nonfiction! Check my website.

doctorb

27.  The first major repair of any piece of equipment is always within ten days of paying the final installment on the loan you used to purchase it.

Doctorb
My father once said, "This is my son who wanted to grow up and become a doctor.  So far, he's only become a doctor."

John Mc

Quote from: doctorb on September 01, 2010, 08:16:09 AM
27.  The first major repair of any piece of equipment is always within ten days of paying the final installment on the loan you used to purchase it.

or a week after the warranty ran out.
If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.   - Abraham Maslow

Okrafarmer

Quote from: John Mc on September 01, 2010, 01:23:42 PM
Quote from: doctorb on September 01, 2010, 08:16:09 AM
27.  The first major repair of any piece of equipment is always within ten days of paying the final installment on the loan you used to purchase it.

or a week after the warranty ran out.

Yes.
He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. Psalm 91:1

Operating a 2020 Woodmizer LT35 hydraulic for Upcountry Sawmill, Dacusville, SC

Now selling Logrite tools!

Writing fiction and nonfiction! Check my website.

iffy

28 Inanimate objects can think.

Okrafarmer

29. You are most likely to stay awake or fall asleep at a time when it is most important that you not do so.

30. The car / truck / tractor / chainsaw always runs really well. Except when you try to demonstrate it to a potential buyer.
He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. Psalm 91:1

Operating a 2020 Woodmizer LT35 hydraulic for Upcountry Sawmill, Dacusville, SC

Now selling Logrite tools!

Writing fiction and nonfiction! Check my website.

whiskers

Small brass parts that a magnet won't find are more easily dropped in the leaves than on the shop floor.
many irons in the fire.........

Okrafarmer

Quote from: whiskers on September 21, 2010, 11:49:50 PM
31.Small brass parts that a magnet won't find are more easily dropped in the leaves than on the shop floor.

Very true. And even more likely in tall weeds. With thorns. And ants.
He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. Psalm 91:1

Operating a 2020 Woodmizer LT35 hydraulic for Upcountry Sawmill, Dacusville, SC

Now selling Logrite tools!

Writing fiction and nonfiction! Check my website.

Randy88

32. The lane of traffic you are currently in always moves slower than the one beside you.
33.  The part you critically need was just sold to the guy you met at the door on his way out of the store and now they are on backorder
34.   The part that is the most critical that was sent to you by the mail will always be the one lost in transit and take weeks to get, but the spare one you didn't need will show up tomorrow.
35.    The part that takes the longest to get will be the one that you know where you lost it but have no way to retrieve it [I saw the broken part fly off as it snapped and it landed about 20 ft out in the pond] or I was walking to my truck in town and as I grabbed my keys out of my pocket they slipped and fell down the manhole and I can see them under the welded on grate about 6 feet down stuck along one side and its a coded ignition key, and its starting to rain and in about 30 seconds it'll wash away and my truck with some wire in it is about a minute away.
36.    The 1 dollar fuse will not blow at all to save the 1000 dollar computer and if theres a short in the system the fuse will blow a few milliseconds after the computer goes up in smoke
37.    The first day you have all the doctor and hospital bills paid in full someone gets hurt or sick and you start over again.
38.    The cost of the part broken with be directly proportional to the location its on the machine, the 5000 dollar part is easy to get to and replace, the 5 dollar snap ring will take 5000 dollars worth of labor to intstall.
39.     The larger the job being bid the closer the bids where that you ended up losing the job to, say for example the 10,000 dollar job will be lost by a 1000 dollars and the 100,000 dollar job will be lost by say 500 bucks.
40.      Any job you go look at in good weather will always be the one done in the worst weather.
41.      All the years of owning used equipment your told its too old and they don't readily stock parts for it and you have to wait a few days for them to come in and the only piece you ever bought new they tell you its so new they don't stock parts at all and haven't got any shipped to them yet and they are in a different country and it'll be months before they have them ???
42.    The fuel guage is never off in the right direction to ever save running out of gas.
43.     You can fix all the fuel guages in everything you own and you'll be the first to run whatever your driving out of fuel because the guage quit working on the unti your running and it shows the wrong level.
44.    The problem you need to get fixed nobody will have ever experienced before and they spend days or weeks trying to figure out and when you go to get it after its fixed someone else comes in with the same problem and they use the experience they learned on you and have the other guy going in minutes and for a few dollars worth of tme and you spend months to pay the thousands of dollars worth of repairs bills, and the other guys says now thats a cheap easy fix.
45.    The harder to see into the fuel tank the more incorrect the fuel gauge will be, the easier to see the more accurate it is, the more difficult to see into the tank, the more inaccurate the guage, the harder it is to prime or get to it to prime the fuel once its run out.

I'm sure a lot of these are covered in previous posts but its nice to relate directly to my work and not just theory.

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