My Dad

[Raider Bill]

Funny how things work out sometimes. I came back from the pig roast to Tenn to recharge and head somewhere else. I decided to go see my Father sort of a spur of he moment thing. He didn't know I was coming. I surprised him Monday night late. He was happy to see me. We spent 2 days together mostly talking. He told me things I had no idea about his life as a kid, our family, some pretty personal stuff. He also said that he would not be coming off the operating table today as he had had enough. His health has been failing, his worse fear was lingering away like so many of his friends had. He had outlived all his friends and most relitives. There is a particular cousin that dad said he wanted to outlive so he could p on his grave but finally admitted it didn't look like that was going to happen, you had to know my dad. There's a book and show coming out called S#@t my father says. My Dad could have written that book 20 times over with his wit..... well wit may not be the right word. mostly he was known as the big grouch on the end of a dead end street. Archie Bunker rated x for content other than nudity if you know what I mean. He had a opinion about everything that was pretty colorful and NOT politically correct in any way shape or form.

Dad showed me all his paperwork, legal stuff, what he wanted done and how. I told him he'd be ok they were going to fix him right up. He said no I'm going to be with your Mother and Sister this afternoon that is my plan.
Prior to this he had a 90% blockage in his heart but couldn't find a dr that would operate due to his age 94, size 340 lbs and general poor health. He still drove everyday, Ate steak red meat, cheese anything he wanted saying at his age why change. up until a few years ago he drank a case of beer, a qt of whiskey and smoked half a box of cigars [20-25]a day, inhaleing of course every drag . Said he was never sick a day in his life until he quit drinking. :D
He raised us 3 kids alone, my Mom died having my little brother 53 years ago. dad raised 3 kids including a new born, 3 year old [me] and a 6 year old my Sister. Sister was killed in 2003 by a car. He worked 50 years in a factory as a machinest. He was a only child so his child raising skills were weak at best but we made it. His was more sergeant punishment than corperal. it was definatly a notch above.

Today before I took him to the hospital he told me where the safety deposit key was, the safe combo, and where all the paperwork I would need was kept. I said Dad you are coming back, his reply no Billy I'm going to be with my girls [my Mom and Sister], they are waiting for me it's time.

As they wheeled him into the cath lab I said I love you Dad thanks. I don't remember ever saying that before to him. He said I love you Billy take care of your family.

About 20 minutes into the procedure they called a code 99 cath lab over the pa system and I knew dad had got his wish. They worked on him for 45 minutes  but I knew Dad had passed.

The Dr came out with a Nurse holding a box of tissue. It was over. Time 219 pm. There is a thread here somewhere about strange things, in it  I describe the number 219 and how it has affected me over the years. Weird here it is again.

My Dad, WW2 veteran of Burma, Bronze Star with V, a member of The Greatest generation, father of 3, Grand Father of 3 and Great Grandfather of 4 that will never know him decided that today was the day he was going to die. Planned the whole event knowing he woul d not survive the procedure got his wish.

He told me yesterday that the song Amazing Grace was one of his favorite songs I never would have guessed that. Tonight I read a thread about a Members last post  [Hay Trader]being a rendition of Amazing Grace. I listened to it and cried wishing my dad got to hear it to. Maybe he did I dunno. I do know that that version will be played at his funeral.

So now I sit in the time capsule house I grew up in wondeing what am I going to do with all this stuff and a house many states away from both FLorida and Tenn.

Tomorrow I go to the undertakers and maybe the attorney to make arrangements and see what's next. Then I have to start going through all his stuff.

tonight I sit in my Dad's living room drinking beer thinking about Dad, how I miss him, wishing I had been a better Son.

We had a saying in the Navy, The only easy day was yesterday.

Oh and by the way this morning He p'd on a mason jar, handed it to me and said Billy you know what you have to do when the time comes for my cousin.

[sawguy21]

Bill, that is a very moving tribute. I am very sorry to hear of your loss.
Don't beat yourself up, you were the best son you knew how to be. You both made mistakes, we all do. Parents and kids don't come with manuals so we wing it and do the best we can. Just remember the good times, say a prayer for him and make sure you mend any fences with your own brood while you can.

[beenthere]

Dad's are missed.
There has been a hand guiding you to where you are now. Enjoy it, and the memories.

[isawlogs]

Bill , you have my deepest sympathy. It has been a while since I have shed a tear and burst out laughing reading a post , I don't know if I should thank you or not for that , but I do know I would of loved to sit with your dad a spell.
 
   MArcel  :'(

[Warbird]

Bill, you were there at this moment when your dad needed you.  You were a good son.  May your dad rest in peace.  And may you have peace here and now.

[asy]

Hey Bill, I'm SO sorry to hear of your loss, sounds like your Dad had a heart of Gold, just like his Son.

I really enjoyed getting to know you at the Piggy Roast and am only sorry we didn't have more chattin' time, I sure know if I ever get to the USA again that'll be high on my list of things to do. Of course you could always come here...

Please pass my thoughts on to your family, I'm sure he's in peace now.

And don't you lose that Mason Jar, willya!??!?!

Larysa.

[fishpharmer]

Bill, the obituary you have shared with us, speaks volumes of the great American your dad was.  You will always cherish the final days going out of your way to spend time with him.  I won't get all religious on you, yet that is what my preacher calls a "God Moment." Saying that seems almost hollow, having not lost a parent, nothing I write could ease the pain.  My prayers are with you my friend.

[Chuck White]

My condolences to you and your family!

[ellmoe]

Bill, that was a fine tribute to your Dad. My condolences.

Mark

[Roxie]

What a moving tribute to your Dad.  My deepest sympathy for your loss. 

[Norm]

When I pass on I can only hope for such a fitting tribute Bill, your Dad is proud of you.

[Pudge]

That was a awesome tribute to your dad, I am sorry for your loss. You were there at the right time and he will be with you in your heart always. He is and was proud of you.
Karen

[breederman]

Bill, my condolences to you,That is some obit. If I remember correctly you are in New York? If I can help in any way just give me a shout.

[Dan_Shade]

I'm sorry for your loss, Bill.

[thecfarm]

Sounds alot like My Father.But when he died he did not like lawyers and kinda left a mess for me to straighten out.Glad he opened up to you before he left this place.

[DoubleD]

Sorry to hear about your loss, my condolences to you

[asy]

Hey Bill, I just told Steph and she asked me to pass on her wishes to you too...

L.

[SwampDonkey]

Glad I met you at the roast Bill, your dad didn't do too bad with ya. Your a class act.  ;) Sorry for your loss, your dad got his wish, time to reflect some and heal.

See ya at another piggy roast I hope. 

[Magicman]

Bill, while reading your post, I was remembering the last day that I spent with my Dad.  That was his last day also.  We talked and joked, but he kept telling me that he was a dead man.  I didn't want to listen or believe it, but sometimes people know.  Just as your Dad, he also knew.  You were placed in the right place at the right time.

Condolences and strength to you during the upcoming difficult times, but you also have the good memories of your Dad.

[Fla._Deadheader]

Well written, Bill. Condolences to you and yours.

[chet]

I'm so sorry for your loss, Bill.

[Patty]

Oh Bill, aren't you glad you took the time and effort to go to him? You are truly a good son, and your dad knows this. Peace be with you, now, as you go through the motions these next few days. And then go home and give your child a hug.

[Bro. Noble]

Thanks, Bill, for sharing this with us.  Your Dad sounds like a man worth knowing and you sound like a chip off the old block.  You will always be able to look back and thank God for putting you at your Dad's side and for the closeness that you experienced on his last day on earth.

[Tom]

It sounds like your Dad had a good "How-to-be-a-Dad" book.  Keep your eyes open as you go through his things. You might find it.   What a treasure that would be?

If there is one thing I've discovered, it's that a man must have good children to be a good Dad.  I don't care how much praise or criticism a man garnishes for his efforts, If his children aren't receptive, he'll not have succeeded.  So, as you admire  your Dad and revere his life, don't forget to look into the mirror, because, as much as you admire him for loving you, the reflection is of the son that made it possible.

[brdmkr]

Bill,

I am sorry for your loss.  I had a similar last day with my dad.  I will always cherish it.