Stolen from a news group

[Texas Ranger]

To winterize or not to winterize lawn




"Winterize your lawn", the big sign outside the garden store commanded. I've fed it, watered it, mowed it, raked it and watched a lot of it die away. Now I'm supposed to winterize it? I hope it's too late. Grass lawns have to be the stupidest thing we've come up with outside of a thong swimsuits! We
constantly battle dandelions, Queen's lace, thistle, violets, chicory and clover that thrive naturally, so we can grow grass that must be nursed through an annual four-step chemical dependency.

Imagine the conversation The Creator might have with St. Francis about this:

"Frank you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there in the Midwest? What happened to the dandelions, violets, thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect, no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with
abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracted butterflies, honeybees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But all I see are these green rectangles."

" It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites.
They started calling your flowers "weeds" and went to great extent to kill them and replace them with grass".

" Grass? But its so boring. Its not colorful. It doesn't attract
butterflies, birds and bees, Only grubs and sod worms. Its' temperamental with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that green grass growing there?

"  Apparently so, Lord, They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poising any other plant that crops up in the lawn".

" The spring rains and cool weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy".

" Not exactly, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it-sometimes twice a week".

" They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?"

" Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags."

" They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?"

" No, sir. Just the opposite. They pay to throw it away".

" Now let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?"

" Yes, sir."

" These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work."

" You aren't going to believe this Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it."

" What nonsense! At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty an d shade in the summer . In the autumn they fall to the ground and form a
natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves form compost to enhance the soil. It's a natural circle of life."

" You better sit down, Lord. The suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and have them hauled away."

" No! What do they do to protect the shrub and the tree roots in the winter and keep the soil moist and loose?"

" After throwing away your leaves, they go out and buy something they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in the place of leaves."

" and where do they get this mulch?"

" They cut down trees and grind them up."

"Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore. Saint Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?"

" Dumb and Dumber, Lord. It's a real stupid movie about.

" Never mind I think I just heard the whole story."

[Bill Johnson]

Now ain't that the truth :D :D :D

[Tom]

Ha-a-a-aaaaaa Ha---aaaaaa,
Thats one of the most logical strings of diagnostic humor I've heard in a long time.  unfortunately it, like a lot of the other dumb things we do to impress ourselves, is true.  

When I was a little boy I had the pleasure of knowing a generation with a lot more common sense than we apparently possess.  I have stood in the front yard of my Great Grandfathers house where there wasn't a blade of grass to be seen.  There were flowers around the house and flowers around the trees and corn, potatoes, tomatoes, peppers and "greens" in the fields.   The cows in the pastures ate the grass but not one blade was to be found in the yard.  If a blade of grass appeared inside of the yard gate it was pulled.  The yard was an expanse of swept sand that was groomed at least once a day to keep the lines fresh and all in a row.  The path from the gate to the house differed only in that the sweeping lines ran in a different direction to indicate the place upon which you were to trod.

No herbacides, no lawnmower, no weeds, no varmits, just a dog under the porch.  :D

[Ron Wenrich]

It's kind of interesting to figure out where the notion of a finely mowed lawn came from.  I read about it a few years ago in an almanac.

It developed over in England.  The big manses had plenty of sheep to keep everything shorn to an even length.  Of course, only the wealthy would have enough sheep to keep their grasses shorn neatly.  Nice lawn meant wealth.

Then some guy invented the lawn mower, so even commoners could take on the aires of the wealthy.  

Now it's who has the nicest yards and the biggest mower.  But, today's wealthy have someone else do it for them.