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My Porch Coon

Started by Tom, May 31, 2003, 07:51:37 PM

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Tom

On my front porch you will find some large planters with small palms in them, smaller planters with blooming flowers, one of those "ornamental" stoves that wives have to have, some knick-knacs, some plastic easter eggs in the planters left over from easter and a bowl of cat food that the wife is using to take care of a cat that showed up here that we call Thumbs.  He has huge dew claws.

The past few mornings my wife has found the plastic eggs out of the planters and scattered on the deck.  Then they began appearing chewed and torn with pieces of styro foam scattered about.  Then her plants were pulled from their pots and scattered around the deck.  Yesterday her prize tomato plant (she has actually harvested 3 tomatoes) was torn from its pot and dumped uncerimoniously on the ground.

That was the last straw.

She came to me and said "we've got a Coon".  

"Yes", I expounded, "and should we expect not to have one here in the swamp?"

Shouldn't have said that.

Tonight she said " He's on the porch.  Do you want the pistol or the shotgun?"

"The pistol", I said.

"Well, don't hurt him", she said.

"??????", I thought.

Out the door in my underwear and t-shirt I ran, yelling like a wildman and with a blazing 22 kicking up puffs of dirt at his heels as he high tailed it for the wood at the ditch.  What a sight I imagined it must have been.

I stood on the porch making sure that he had left when I noticed a small mask show itself over the edge of the ditch underneath a small sweet gum.  He was layng there with his head on his paws looking at me looking at him.  I tried not to laugh.

I yelled into the house to tell the wife what he was doing and he inched out of the ditch and lay on the flat ground above it.  I guess it was more comfortable.  He didn't move, I got bored and went inside.

Directly, the wife said to me, "He's back".

I grabbed the camera and ran to the front door yelling and snapping pictures.  

He was moving too fast and they were all a blur.  He ran to the ditch again."He's back", she said again as I sat down in front of the TV to eat my hamburger.  I was getting peaved now because he was interfering with my supper.
I opened the door and he sauntered off across the front yard and headed for the ditch.  Then he decided to come back toward the porch.  

I guess he was going to go under it but I yelled at him.  He sauntered off toward the ditch again stopping every 5 or 6 feet to look at me over his shoulder.  
I yelled at him, acting as authoritative as a grown man can act at a coon.  He didn't want to leave.  Finally he went down in the ditch and I guess to the woods.

I decided that no coon was going to stop me from eating my hamburger so when the wife said he's back, I said, " tomorrow night" and continued.  He finished the cat food, examined the plant pots and left.

The wife is out in the yard now calling the cats.  They left for higher ground when that white-headed, bearded, madman ran from the house,half-naked, screaming and shooting at everything in sight.


DanG

That's some pretty snappy snappin', to snap a sauntering 'coon like that. I'm just glad that this wasn't the time for you to have the camera pointed backward. :o :D :D
"I don't feel like an old man.  I feel like a young man who has something wrong with him."  Dick Cavett
"Beat not thy sword into a plowshare, rather beat the sword of thine enemy into a plowshare."

Bibbyman

My sister and husband live on the edge of town with a larger rough park area on the backside of their lot.  They have a lot of wildlife come into their yard.  

For a while, they were running a meeting hall with a small concession stand.  Each evening they would clean up and bring a bag of leftovers home.  They would put the leftovers in a pan out in their back yard and keep the porch light on.  They thought it real neat to watch the coons and foxes, etc. come up and eat.  

One night they didn't run the concession stand and didn't have any leftovers.  The returned home at their regular time but didn't put out the pan of leftovers and just turned out the back porch light.  Soon they found their back yard filled with belligerent coons wanting their "entitlements".  They started to break into the house and did do damage to the back door screen.  
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whitepe

Tom,
I've been having my son Jeremiah chase ours away
with his paintball gun.   8)
Pesky little fellers
blue by day, orange by night and green in between

Paul_H

My friend Bill had a little Spaniel that was a bit of a house dog.One night he heard it yelping at the back door and he ran and opened it.In ran his dog with a Coon on on top of his back.
Bill reached down and tore the coon off of the dogs back and threw it out the door,but not before it ripped up his hand with it's teeth.The coon barely hit the ground,and was back in the house,past Bill, and after the dog.He grabbed the coon again,and had his arm and hand ripped up again as he finally got it out of the house.

His hand was a mess,but he was too stubborn to see a Dr.I asked him if he had thought about Rabies?I think it was on his mind.(I thought we should have locked Bill and his dog in the corn crib for a while,on account of hydrofoby) :o

Like Bibbyman mentioned,they can be belligerent if they don't get their way.
Science isn't meant to be trusted it's to be tested

OneWithWood

Great pics, Tom.  Did you take those with the new camera your son bought ya?   :D :D ;D
One With Wood
LT40HDG25, Woodmizer DH4000 Kiln

Tom

Naw, these were taken with a little inexpensive "fujifilm" digital that belongs to my wife.   She let's me use it now and again if I promise that I won't break it or get it stolen. :-/ :)  

Patty

Hmmm, shootin' coon. We've always found that a shotgun works best for the coon around our place. ;D
Women are Angels.
And when someone breaks our wings....
We simply continue to fly ........
on a broomstick.....
We are flexible like that.

Haytrader

Did we consider a live trap?  I had some coons gettin in my grainery so I put a live trap out. I was single at the time so I would get a GF to go with me to check the trap at night.  ;D
This place was about 30 miles from the house. Ended up catching 18 of the masked bandits. I know there were more but I got to know the gal well enough I just went huntin at her house.

 8)  8)  8)
Haytrader

Kevin

When I was doing a little nuisance animal work in the city I pulled a few raccoon out of attics on the end of a snare pole.
Just like having a marlin out of water on the end of a fly rod, lots of action!

Frickman

Back in the 80's when fur prices were higher that coon wouldn't have lasted long around here. Seemed everybody around here was buying blue ticks and hunting coons every night. I've gone along a few times, and there's alot to be said about staying out of the woods at night. Go chasing a pack of hounds down through the woods and you're guaranteed to trip over every log and rock in the place. Oh yeah, the coon and dogs have to always run through at least one briar patch.

A .22 rifle works good on our varmints. If you're looking to save the pelt you can be firing off a shotgun.

Frickman
If you're not broke down once in a while, you're not working hard enough

I'm not a hillbilly. I'm an "Appalachian American"

Retired  Conventional hand-felling logging operation with cable skidder and forwarder, Frick 01 handset sawmill

Pretend farmer when I have the time

WV_hillbilly

 Nice action pics.  

 Frickman
                   I agree with you about the 22. But if they aren't in my yard I prefer a shotgun . We have a neighbor that feeds about 5 lbs. of catfood a night to the coons. If they go away there is no food and the coons come next door to vent their frustration at my house. I really hate picking up trash in the morning before I go to work. So when I know the neighbors are going away one of the guns comes out of the safe for fast draw action. I let them go until they start fightin and I'm trying to sleep,  It seems they always fight outside my bedroom window . >:(All bets are offf after that. many of them don't come back ever again.
Hillbilly

Tom

My wife hollered through the house "There's a bunch of baby armadillos eating up the front yard".

"Well what do you want me to do about it?"

"Do you want the gun?"

"Nah, I'll get the camera."

"A lot-a-good that'll do"

"You won't let me hurt'em".

So, I got the camera and went out the front door onto the porch and almost stepped on my Porch Coon who ran to the other side of the porch but wouldn't leave.  There were the remnants of cat food in a dish underfoot.  I thought to myself, "wonder where that cat food keeps coming from". :D


Looking over the yard there were three baby armadillos rooting around and two black cats standing at bay watching with interest.


I took a few pictures for those of you who aren't familiar with armadillos.



And here is proof that they aren't the smartest animal in the woods.  This one was rooting around under my shoe so I stooped over and pointed the camera at him.  Just as I shot he turned and looked away.  Camera shy I guess. :D

 He wasn't running away, just interested in digging somewhere else. :D





Furby

WAY COOL! 8)
Good job with the pictures! So I see you are going to keep that coon around for a while huh?  ;) :D :D :D

Bigdogpc

Great Pixs!!!!  Around my house, the only wild life is the neighbors.  No, I ain't even gonna try to take pixs...

DanG

Wild life is down around here since the neighbor moved to "Government Housing." :D :D

We do get a few wild animals, but with 8 dogs on the place, all of them can either fly or climb. The ground-bound types don't have a prayer. ;D
"I don't feel like an old man.  I feel like a young man who has something wrong with him."  Dick Cavett
"Beat not thy sword into a plowshare, rather beat the sword of thine enemy into a plowshare."

Haytrader

Whatsa matter Bigdog, afraid of being called a peeping Tom?
Or are the neighbors "wild" outside?
If that is the case you could do a telephoto lens.
 ;)
Haytrader

Tom


David_c

great oictures tom. i have six dogs and i hunt coon cat and bear with three of them so the critters around know better :D except moose they dont to close though just in case. ;D

Tom

Our Porch Coon is back.  Well, it's either that or one of his from another litter.  He sure looks the same. 

I saw him from my window the other afternoon as he ambled along the ditch back toward the front of the yard.  He was being real nosy and investigating all of the new growth and recent trimmings.

I looked out my window behind the monitor a few minutes ago just in time to see him walking away from the porch toward the ditch.  I haven't gone out there to see if he is digging in the pots again.  I hope not. 

The wife doesn't know that he is back yet.  I don't think I'm going to say anything.  :D

WDH

Quote from: Tom on May 31, 2003, 07:51:37 PM
I yelled at him, acting as authoritative as a grown man can act at a coon. 

I bet that is DanG authoritative.  I have never seen a grown man act authoritative at a coon ;D.  He might just need a good talking to, ya know :D.

This must be a descendant of Porch Coon 1. 
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jon12345

When I was a kid  :D I had a wooden box that I kept nightcrawlers in, and one night a bunch of coons came and started eatin them.  We heard them outside the kitchen so we turned the porch light on, and saw them out there slurpin them up like spaghetti   I was not a happy camper >:(
A.A.S. in Forest Technology.....Ironworker

SwampDonkey

I have to brace the barn door to keep them out and off the lumber piles where they like to leave their deposit.  >:(
"No amount of belief makes something a fact." James Randi

1 Thessalonians 5:21

2020 Polaris Ranger 570 to forward firewood, Husqvarna 555 XT Pro, Stihl FS560 clearing saw and continuously thinning my ground, on the side. Grow them trees. (((o)))

pappy

Gotta mommy coon with at least four kits camped out in the barn... Did a finger point and stern talking to her about her squatting on our property but that did no good... ::) We live on a pretty busy road and we've heard a couple cars tootin' at somepin out there ( we got plenty a moose too) in the middle of the night... Hmmmm haven't had road kill in awhile...  ;D
"And if we live, we shall go again, for the enchantment which falls upon those who have gone into the woodland is never broken."

"Down the Allagash."  by; Henry Withee

sprucebunny

Funny....I read this topic earlier this evening and after supper, what do I see sitting on my porch ??? :D

The porch is about 10 feet above the porch/screen porch below it. He was just sitting out there having a little bath ;D



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