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Colloquialisms,

Started by Woodwalker, January 02, 2008, 11:54:43 PM

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Woodwalker

Any of "y'all" ever use any of these expressions?
I'm out behind the "Car Shed" sitting on the "turtle hull" and thinking "Heavens to Betsy" I'm gonna have to tell "how the cow ate the cabbage" and someone is going to "have a wall-eyed hissy fit" when I do.  "It's getting darker than midnight under a skillet" with each passing minute, and "It's cold enough to freeze the horns off a billy goat." Now, I may be "as crazy as a bessy bug that's been stepped on" but the "proofs in the puddin". I'm gonna "have to take my medicine" and go back inside and "face the music".
It all started when I was a lying on the "couch"  and got to talking bout the brother and sister-in-law. All I said was "She should get shed of him", cause "he's acting wilder than a March hare." Now the brother is hers and I think "what done it" was when I said  "wish I could buy him for what I think he's worth and sell him for what he thinks he's worth," cause he's "Tight as Dick's hatband."
The next thing I heard from her was "I'll get a leather strap" if you don't "Get your feet off the divan!" you already "have your tail in a crack," and someone's gonna be on you " like a guinea on a cutworm."
Why, "I turned as white as a sheet," and let me tell you, "I lit a shuck", "slick as a button", " lit outa there like turpentined cat!"  All I could hear as I was going out the door was "I'm gonna snatch you bald!", "I'm going to get me a switch" " I'm going tan your hide"   "I'm going to slap a knot on your head",  "I ought to wring your neck"..............
Well, it's been a couple of hours and I need to "wet my whistle", a cold beer would be "larrapin."
bout now. Guess I'll try to make up. (I really didn't think she was that particular bout her brother.)
I'll ease up on the "front gallery" and call Hun? Baby? You ain't still mad at me are you?  "Come here and let me get the rats out of your hair" then we'll "Load up" and go down to the creek and do some fishing. You know, with your tan you are "brown as a berry".
"I haven't had so much fun since the hogs ate my little brother."
Just cause your head's pointed, don't mean you are sharp.

DanG

So, where wuz yer little brother going when the hogs ate him?  I hope he was in tall cotton. ;D :D :D
"I don't feel like an old man.  I feel like a young man who has something wrong with him."  Dick Cavett
"Beat not thy sword into a plowshare, rather beat the sword of thine enemy into a plowshare."

Sprucegum

That was a good'un! I understood 'bout 1/2 of it - and the pigs ate my little brother too  ;D   ;D

Mooseherder

I was fixin to get ready to. ;D

Cedarman

I'll be the little brother was  "so clumsy he tripped over an afterthought" and the pigs got him.
I am in the pink when sawing cedar.

thecfarm

Best I can come up with,now that's a yarn by gory.I really enjoyed it.
Model 6020-20hp Manual Thomas bandsaw,TC40A 4wd 40 hp New Holland tractor, 450 Norse Winch, Heatmor 400 OWB,YCC 1978-79

Roxie

My Nanny would "knock you into the middle of next week" if she heard you talk like that.  She'd say that story "ain't worth the powder to blow it to H. E. double hockey sticks." 

Say when

isawlogs

     :D :D :D
Ya got to love this place , as soon as you think you have a handle on things  .....  a curve is thrown
  Hey , I got almost all of it ... you lost me with the hogs eating my little brother .... .
A man does not always grow wise as he grows old , but he always grows old as he grows wise .

   Marcel

tcsmpsi

Now, I ain't so sure 'bout all that, Woodwalker. Those things they got on cars today...I don't know so much that they'd make a full fleged turtle hull.   :D

I don't know 'bout ya'll, but I sure did eat me a double helpin' of cabbage and peas on New Years.  I ate so much, I's fuller'n a tick on a dogs ear.

I'll tell ya...probably, my most used, most adaptable most pointedly non-commital commited influence is,

"I'll be there d'rectly."  or "I'll get to it d'rectly." or "See you d'rectly."  Gives one the appearance of being right on que, yet being assured that we ain't really got to make that a real major priority, but nontheless, sure enough on the way to get that accomplished, as soon as possible, pretty much.          ;D
\\\"In the end, it is a moral question as to whether man applies what he has learned or not.\\\" - C. Jung

sawguy21

I love that last one 'I'll get to it directly'. :D The issue will get addressed just not necessarily right away.
old age and treachery will always overcome youth and enthusiasm

scgargoyle

Y'all could talk the ears off a china cat. :D
I hope my ship comes in before the dock rots!

Furby


Patty

This is priceless.  :D 

I purtinear got the whole story and it was as worthless as teats on a bore. Why it was so bad it wasn't worth the powder it would take to blow up an ant's motorcycle.

She was SO ugly, she looks like she got beat by an ugly stick. One like her you call a double bagger...one for your head and one for hers!  :D 
Women are Angels.
And when someone breaks our wings....
We simply continue to fly ........
on a broomstick.....
We are flexible like that.

Texas Ranger

Your brother in law was et up with the dumb butt to treat his gal thataway.
The Ranger, home of Texas Forestry

bull

Im so hungry I could eat the south bound end out of a north bound skunk...
I know a man who could talk a glass eye to sleep.
how's about up the road a piece.

what's the deal with brother gettin eatin by the pigs. ?????

can't get there from here.....
are I  from canada hey,,,
I'll be there in two shakes of a lambs tail.
slower than a cat covering 6!@#%^&* on a tin roof !!!!
heavins to mergatroid
you could knock me over with a feather
Im so happy I could fill my pants.
that went over like a lead balloon
that went over like a fart in an elevator...



jackpine

She was so ugly her mother had to tie a pork chop around her neck to get the dog to play with her

Tom

She'd make a freight train take a dirt road.

LeeB

Finer than frogs hair.
Dumb as a box of rocks.
Colder than a well diggers a22 in Wyoming.
Like pulling hens teeth.
'98 LT40HDD/Lombardini, Case 580L, Cat D4C, JD 3032 tractor, JD 5410 tractor, Husky 346, 372 and 562XP's. Stihl MS180 and MS361, 1998 and 2006 3/4 Ton 5.9 Cummins 4x4's, 1989 Dodge D100 w/ 318, and a 1966 Chevy C60 w/ dump bed.

tcsmpsi

My family's favorite as we're out to eat in the public, sitting at the table, and as she walks by, I lean out from the table just a little and mention, "Kinda looks like two hogs wrestling in a tow sack, don't it?". 
\\\"In the end, it is a moral question as to whether man applies what he has learned or not.\\\" - C. Jung

Woodwalker

Sitting here reading over these, I can pick out the ones from south of the Mason/Dixon without looking to see who posted. The closer to Texas, the more common or familiar the sayings are.  "Ya'll pull up a chair" and "let's chew the fat"  "a bit more".
Just cause your head's pointed, don't mean you are sharp.

bitternut

How about your full of hops, you dumb bunny, keep your shirt on, your mother ever have any kids that lived, he has two left feet. Thats all I can think of for now.

Furby

"Chew the fat" and "shoot the bull" are REAL common around here.  :)

sawdust


Any Newfies on here? they got the best expressions.
Stunned as a warf stick.
Stay where your at, I'll come where you is.

david
comforting the afflicted and afflicting the comfortable.

Woodwalker

"I swan",  "I ain't heered" some of these!
Just cause your head's pointed, don't mean you are sharp.

sawguy21

Sawdust, those guys speak a language all their own. :D :D :D
old age and treachery will always overcome youth and enthusiasm

Slabs

I don't think I've seen one that I haven't either used or at least heard but I've hesitated to use some of them cause I've been"shot out of the saddle" for some of my own.
Slabs  : Offloader, slab and sawdust Mexican, mill mechanic and electrician, general flunky.  Woodshop, metal woorking shop and electronics shop.

WDH

One of my favorites is, "You can't catch a rabbit with your dog tied."
Woodmizer LT40HDD35, John Deere 2155, Kubota M5-111, Kubota L2501, Nyle L53 Dehumidification Kiln, and a passion for all things with leafs, twigs, and bark.  hamsleyhardwood.com

Mooseherder

DanG straight.
I got a few more where those come from.
If you chill out and quit dogging me.  
I'll come thru in the clutch and maybe raise the roof ;D
I hail from West Palm, the home of bad grills, bling bling and hanging chads.
But I'll try to stick to the matter at hand.
Now I gotta fess up.
Back in the day when I was a young whipper snapper, I rode shotgun with a friend down to the sunshine.
Wasn't like Batman and Robin type friends, more like gelling wit Yoko Ono type friends.  He is a strange cat.  What a zero.;)
We ain't friends no more.  Bad JuJu.
I got tired of looking at his wife beater shirts, his barn doors open, the Thanks for bailing me out man excuses and whatever he brought home wit him when he had the beer goggles on. :D
Somebody was always calling the Five-O on him or givin' him a thumper.
When I was bousta leave. ;D
He got all fired up cause I had most of the Benjamins.  He wanted a piece of me.
I told him to drink his bunk coffee and shut his word hole. What a bozo.
I ain't buzzed him since and I ain't gonna buzz him later.
If he's still gotta beef, big whoop. I'm over it.
So, I got a new gig and ain't been bamboozled since.

(this is not a true story) :D











Sprucegum

The ones I heard most often at home were:

Money don't grow on trees

If you can't be good for G'd sake be careful

It's so crowded in here ya can't cuss a cat without gettin' hair in yer teeth

Bill Johnson

Strong like bull...smart like streetcar!
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer
As bright as a bag of burnt out light bulbs
Not the quickest bunny in the bush
Not playing with a full deck
:D
Bill

Cedarman

That hurt worse than slidin' down a razor blade into a pool of alcohol.

If you took his brain magnified it a 1000 times and but it in a thimble and shook it, it would be like bb rolling around in a boxcar.
I am in the pink when sawing cedar.

iffy

His elevator don't go clear to the top.
He's rowin' with one oar.
He's suckin' hind teat
Fits like a saddle on a sow
She had purple marks all over from a 10' stick
His family tree don't have no branches
Ah, you know, old "whistle d---"

Fla._Deadheader

Asy
This needs a good ole outback bush story, IN AUSSIE words.  ;) ;D ;D ;D ;D
All truth passes through three stages:
   First, it is ridiculed;
   Second, it is violently opposed; and
   Third, it is accepted as self-evident.

-- Arthur Schopenhauer (1788-1860)

ErikC

A couple we use way out west...
"It's hotter'n the hubs of hell"
"no more sense than a pet coon"
"goofy as a wooden watch
Peterson 8" with 33' tracks, JCB 1550 4x4 loader backhoe, several stihl chainsaws

isawlogs


I have been reading all of these , and it came to me most of these could be describing most any politician that I know  ;D
   

  • no more sense than a pet coon
  • goofy as a wooden watch

  • He's suckin' hind teat
  • His family tree don't have no branches

  • Not the sharpest knife in the drawer
  • And the list can go on and on

                ;D :D :D :D :D :D :D




A man does not always grow wise as he grows old , but he always grows old as he grows wise .

   Marcel

woodbowl

Looks like you've got the cart befor the horse.

Got champane ideas on a beer budget.

The squeeky wheel gets the greese.

What you want to sell that mule for? ... Money!

I've been so busy, I met myself comming back.
Full time custom sawing at the customers site since 1995.  WoodMizer LT40 Super Hyd.

Radar67

He thinks he is hot snot on a silver platter, ain't nothing but a cold bugger on a paper plate.
"A man's time is the most valuable gift he can give another." TOM

If he can cling to his Blackberry, I can cling to my guns... Me

This will kill you, that will kill you, heck...life will kill you, but you got to live it!

"The man who can comprehend the why, can create the how." SFC J

Sprucegum

Most politians are

    "All hat with no cattle"

WDH

He has a full 6-pack, but he is missing the plastic thingy that holds it all together.
Woodmizer LT40HDD35, John Deere 2155, Kubota M5-111, Kubota L2501, Nyle L53 Dehumidification Kiln, and a passion for all things with leafs, twigs, and bark.  hamsleyhardwood.com

Bill Johnson

Some of the earthier ones were

Cold enough to freeze the nuts off an iron bridge

Colder than a witches teat

drop ya like diarrhoea off a branch :-[

Bill

limbrat

If it was mine i would put a five wire fence around it.
could clear a ten rail fence.
there big enuff to stand flat footed and step over or in dump truck.
alot of buzzing for a little honey
momma must pay for his
drunker than cooter brown
it aint worth knowin
stood out like a fart in church
cute as a tick
aint got a lick of sense
when they was passin out brains he thought they said rain and he ran for cover.
he or she was picked before they were ripe
ben

Bro. Noble

This might need to be moved to that 'Stumpin' thread,  cause it could very well have been said about old 'edited' ;D

He (she) talks like a sxxx salesman with a mouthfull of samples ;)
milking and logging and sawing and milking

Don_Papenburg

Slickern 'a cats whisle
  stiffern'a weddin' di##
She /He  is so fat when they tell em to haul a$$ they gotta take two trips
   Rolled over like a drunken dinosoar
Hotter than a fresh ----Word for intercourse--- fox in a forrest fire
  Missing the toy outa his happy meal
Born at night just not last night
Frick saw mill  '58   820 John Deere power. Diamond T trucks

Mooseherder

Dijya catch that?  We are good to go.
Y'all done a bang up job wit deese hear sayings.
Better knock on wood fore ya get to hear anymore.
Be right back so sit a spell.
I wish I could take a picture of myself sporting my new do, cause then I'd ask How do you like my new do?
So go ahead and one up me MacGyver. :D


DanG

Mooseherder, you been down there too long, Man! :D :D

"I'll be on yo butt like ugly on a ape!"

"Ya can't get there from here, ya gotta go somewhere else ta start."

"She jumped on him like a hen on a june bug."

"He's just as happy as if he had sense."

"I know she cain't hep it, but she coulda stayed home."
"I don't feel like an old man.  I feel like a young man who has something wrong with him."  Dick Cavett
"Beat not thy sword into a plowshare, rather beat the sword of thine enemy into a plowshare."

pigman

He ain't got the sense God gave a goose.    
 (My mother said that about me on more than one occassion) :o ;D
Things turn out best for people who make the best of how things turn out.

sawguy21

"They were all over it like stink on a wet dog" I had to laugh when talking to a supplier in California. She mentioned that I had to be Canadian and I asked her what was the first clue.  I had referred to driving distance in hours instead of miles, apparently it is a Canadian thing. :D
old age and treachery will always overcome youth and enthusiasm

woodbowl

This is about as cordial as a wet dog at a wedding.

He's blind in one eye and can't see out of the other one.

It's better to owe the man money, rather than beat him out of it.

Better than snuff and ain't half as dusty.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.

Can't get blood from a turnip.

It's about 6 of one and half a dozen of the other.

The difference in a so so meal and a good meal is about 3 hours.

If I could get 12" lumber out of your 8" logs, I wouldn't be sawing for a living.  

He's got more dollars than cents. (sense)

He stood there lookin' like a cow at a new gate.

(first date, holding a womans cold hand) You been playing with a frog ain't cha?


Full time custom sawing at the customers site since 1995.  WoodMizer LT40 Super Hyd.

Mooseherder

DanG,  We're Green  (in agreement) ;D

One of deeze days,  gonna getwidit.
I'm gonna stop beating around the bush.
Busta move and Bang a U-turn. :D

We gotta get outta this place.
If it's the last thing we ever do.  (remember that song) :)

J_T

Moosehearder was that back when we had four in the floor and a fith under the seat  :D ???
Jim Holloway

DanG

Quote from: Mooseherder on January 04, 2008, 11:38:39 PM


We gotta get outta this place.
If it's the last thing we ever do.  (remember that song) :)

Oh yeah, I 'member dat one.  An old Southeast Asian drinking song. ;D
"I don't feel like an old man.  I feel like a young man who has something wrong with him."  Dick Cavett
"Beat not thy sword into a plowshare, rather beat the sword of thine enemy into a plowshare."

customsawyer

He's as sharp as a bowling ball
he's as brite as a 2 watt bulb
can't make a silk purse out of a sows ear
it's as hot as two mice getting excited in a wool sock
his cheese has done slid off his cracker

Some of these might apply to me as I was reading along I came up with about twenty more to add but when it came time to this is all I could come up with.
Two LT70s, Nyle L200 kiln, 4 head Pinheiro planer, 30" double surface Cantek planer, Lucas dedicated slabber, Slabmizer, and enough rolling stock and chainsaws to keep it all running.
www.thecustomsawyer.com

Cedarman

On being poor,
If I had $10, I'd stay up all night watching it.
I am in the pink when sawing cedar.

sawguy21

'He could break a steel ball with a rubber hammer' is commonly heard here.
old age and treachery will always overcome youth and enthusiasm

Don P

Sounds like that ol boy is dumber than a sack of hammers. Just another wood duck.
I wouldn't let it worry you past lunch, an empty sack can't stand up and an empty wagon rattles the loudest. If it keeps up we're gonna go around like a saw.
Kinda sounds like he came bear huntin with a switch.
Bless her heart, she's a little pixillated.
It's sure missing a good chance to rain
Come go with us

Gary_C

He don't have enough common sense to pour p out of his boot, even if you put the directions on the heel.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Radar67

He's so dumb, he couldn't bust out of a wet paper sack.
"A man's time is the most valuable gift he can give another." TOM

If he can cling to his Blackberry, I can cling to my guns... Me

This will kill you, that will kill you, heck...life will kill you, but you got to live it!

"The man who can comprehend the why, can create the how." SFC J

pigman

Quote from: DanG on January 05, 2008, 01:06:03 AM
Quote from: Mooseherder on January 04, 2008, 11:38:39 PM


We gotta get outta this place.
If it's the last thing we ever do.  (remember that song) :)

Oh yeah, I 'member dat one.  An old Southeast Asian drinking song. ;D
I just knew I had heard that one somewhere. ;)



The emptier the barrel the louder the roar
Things turn out best for people who make the best of how things turn out.

woodbowl

Two heads are better than one even if one is a goat head.

(said to a visiter) Looka' there what the cats drug up.

Sure I can see far. I can see the moon, how far is that?

Can I borrow $10, I'll pay you back double or nuthin'.

Can't chew bubble gum and walk at the same time.

Full time custom sawing at the customers site since 1995.  WoodMizer LT40 Super Hyd.

scgargoyle

About bad singers:
"He took a stab at it, but didn't draw any blood."
"He couldn't carry a tune in a bucket with a lid on it."
"He made that song his own- nobody else wants it now."

A few more:
"As popular as a turd in a punchbowl."
"Harder than a brick bat"
I hope my ship comes in before the dock rots!

J_T

 I wouldn't loan him a anvil he could knock the horn off it with a rubber hammer :D :D
Jim Holloway

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