You're not a logger until you ---

[Gary_C]

I know there are many good classes you can take to do a better, safer job of cutting trees and bucking logs. And they are even now creating a Master Logger Certification Program. But all that is not really enough.

You're not really a logger until you fill your chainsaw up with gas, forget to put the gas cap back on, pick up your saw, and DUMP THE GAS DOWN THE FRONT OF YOUR PANTS AND ALL OVER YOUR BOOTS. Only then have you been officially baptized as a logger.

Yes, I did this again this morning.  :  I was using the Harvester and my chainsaw to cut up down trees. I will not carry the chainsaw in the cab because I cannot stand that gas smell. So I strap it on the back of the cab where it is relatively safe and NOT in the cab. So what do I do first thing this morning?  Found a way to make the cab stink all day long.   :( :(

Oh, one of the other things you must experience is to get your saw stuck while bucking logs. Then walk back to your pickup to get your spare saw, and then get that saw stuck right next to the first one.   :  Been there, done that too. But I have one advantage in using the harvester to go around bucking logs. If I do get my chainsaw stuck, that 12 ton gorilla can just grab that tree and shake the saw loose.  8)

[hawby]

Not a logger....

Until you try to carry a forkload of snow covered logs across rough or hilly ground, then try to load them on the truck 

[Ernie_Edwards]

Guess I'm not a logger as I have never done the gas cap thing.

But do I get any credit for dumping a tank of oil down my leg?

[Timburr]

.......put the saw down, to clear some brash/slash, go to pull-start the saw and discover the engine is still running!!  :

.......have to take off your boot to free a foot trapped between brash.

.......get a face full of oil when trying to determine which hose on the forwarder has blown

I've done the oil tank thing, but I consider not being worthy of credit for that one ;D

[Burlkraft]

Gary,

I've done the same DanG thing so many times........

I blame it on Adult ADD...I get ta thinkin' about what I'm goin ta cut and how it's gonna fall...I forget what it is that I am doin' at the moment. Here I thought I was the only one.   ;D  ;D  ;D

Ever set yer bright orange or green tape down somewhere's and then not ba able ta find it... ??? ???

[WDH]

DanG.  I did not realize it before, but according to Gary_C's definition, I am a Logger too  ;D.

[Greenedive]

Isn't it funny when you do something really stupid or take the most spectactular fall in the woods (you can be miles from another person) you always look up quick to see if anyone saw you. :D

[Quebecnewf]

Not a logger until

Sleigh load of logs comes unhooked at the bottom of a narrow path and your wife comes down behind you and you end up with two sleigh loads of logs one snowmobile and you wife all in a heap and you know you have two hours work to clear up the mess and get back on the road.

Did I mention that as soon as you step to one side of the path you sink to your armpits in snow and willow bushes.

[sawguy21]

Not to mention dealing with an unhappy wife. ;)

[Woodhog]

1. Forget the gas cap, pour gas all over chaps and nice leather boots.

2. Forget the chain oil cap and do same only much more mess.

3. Go to job site, get out of truck and found you left the saw home.

4.Run over chain saw with machine.

5. Drop saw of machine and smash parts on saw.

6.Lock yourself  out of truck at end of long day.

7.Run trucks side fenders into trees when turning on landing.

8.Have 2 or 3 near death experiences everyday when falling and bucking.

9. Drive hairs on winch cable into hands.

10.Turn forestry trailer over after forgetting to put legs down,

11. Dragging legs after starting off after forgetting to put legs up.

12.Hang machine up on stump, cant go forward or back, lay under machine cutting
stump out with saw.

13. Get so tired that you pick up saw to make cut and saw is not even running.

14. No toilet paper.

15. Leave lunch in truck.

16. Mill rips you off on scale.

17. Finally realizing that you really are not making any money at this...

18. Trucker gets stuck on landing and expects you to get him out fully  "overloaded "with  8500 feet of green logs on.

All true events and thats only in the first few minutes of thinking about it. then there are the mud stories, machine break downs, flat tires, fire risks, agruments over survey lines, more and more regulations and flavour of the graduating class methods of doing things.

Gee there must be a few good things, I will have to think some more...

[sprucebunny]

Cut into a tree full of yellow-jackets  smiley_horserider

[Cedarman]

Ran over Husky saw and didn't hurt it.
Homelite falls off tractor fender and it is a total loss. I still remember that one after 20 ears.

Saw runs out of gas when you are in a mass of branches of a big cedar and you only have 2 limbs and the top to cut.  Seems to happen at least once a day.

Lay baby sledge and wedges on stump  for next day and come back to find 6" of snow.  Check every stump for tools, remember you put them beside the next tree you were going to cut instead.

At end of day count 25 trees to finish job next day.  Next day cut 25 trees and still have 15 more.  Counting skills need honed.

[Gary_C]

I just knew there were more good tests for being a logger.  :

How about having a trailer waiting to load out equipment in the spring with four feet of snow rapidly melting and a foot of water already over the only road. Then as you start to drive the forwarder off the landing, it breaks thru the frost and gets stuck. No problem yet, just drive the feller buncher around the forwarder and pull it out. However the feller buncher gets stuck right beside the forwarder. Now there is a problem! No way to get back there for 6 weeks and the mud has dried by then.   :(

Ya, I do have some film pictures but don't want to scan them. They are too ugly.   ;D

[leweee]

your fellow loggers put the chain on your saw on backwards at lunch brake without you noticing 8)

[PawNature]

Kicked by a mule while driving a grab hook in.

[rbhunter]

Nieghbor had a stihl with a chain he just purchased and saw shop put on for him while doing other work. We were getting ready to take down the lower portion of a big elm still standing next to parents drive. He was bragging about his saw and his new chain and wanted to test it. That saw would not cut worth any thing. He kept trying and not making much progress and started to get mad at the saw.

When he stopped for a bit my father looked down and suggested he take the chain off because it was on backwards and install it correctly. He was a little embarresed.

It cut really fast after putting the chain on correctly.

[thecfarm]

Hitting a rock with a brand new chain.
Losing a choke chain when I know  where I lost it.

[OneWithWood]

Dang, I be more of a logger than I thought!  :D

[isawlogs]

Pour the mixed can of gas in the skidder , finding out a few minutes later while looking for the gas for the saws ...  :

[Sprucegum]

I usually pull the rope 10 times before I remember to turn the switch on  >:(

I have also poured the gas in the oil tank and the oil in the gas  :-[

[sgtmaconga]

Does running over your gas can and bar oil at the same time? did that this week

[KGNC]

Oil in the gas tank is a real pain to clean out.

Getting your truck stuck on a stump, then cut your tire trying to cut off the stump. Of course no spare on the truck.

[Ed_K]

 1 more woodhog didn't mention. Trucker informs you he's done trucking logs.
Oh, and hang saw on dozer arch and back into trees  .
This makes my 1000th post  8).

[leweee]

Congrats Ed on being a member of the 1000 club. 8)

[sgtmaconga]

way to go ed