The Real Diary Of A Real Boy.

[asy]

every time i think of Beanys legs
flying round in the air i giggle rite out and when i think of Mister
Watson bumping his head i nearly die.  sometimes i think it pays to
be tuff.

It just gets better. It's just hillarious.

What are Crokay (Croquet?) slippers?

asy :D

[Handy Andy]

  Asy, you are just too cool.  Jim

[Jeff]

**********************************

May 15. Went in swimming today.  the water was pretty cold but i swum
acros the river twise.

**********************************

[Fraxinus]

It's a good thing he swam across twice or he would have ended up on the wrong side of the river :D :D  Those kids have got to be pretty tough to be swimming this time of year.  I went swimming in the ocean once on Memorial Day and darn near froze to death.  Of course that was before global warming

[Furby]

I've been in the pool a couple times this spring already.
Also went down sliding rock in SC in March a few years back, was looking for a chance to do it again with some warmer water at this years SAWLEX, but it's not going to happen.

[Jeff]

***************************************
May 16. the suckers have come.  Potter Gorham caught three
yesterday.  me and Potter was going yesterday after school but father
woodent let me becaus i dident split my kindlings.

May 17. the band played tonight.  father made me go to bed at nine
but i cood hear it becaus my window is jest acros the road.  they are
playing a new peace.  it is the woodup quickstep, they say Ned
Kendall cood play it on a bugle better than ennybody.  old Robinson
cood and Mister Ashman can play it splendid.  it goes

ta-ta tata, ta-ta tata, ta-ta tata
tatatatatatata.
ta-te-ta-te-tiddle iddle-a
ta-te-ta-te-tiddle iddle-a
ta-te-ta-te-tiddle-iddle-a
tiddle-iddle-iddle-iddle-ata

it is the best peace they play except departed days.  that always
makes me feel like crying it is kinder sad like.  i hope i can get my
cornet some day.

May 19. had a auful toothake today and had to go down to docter
Pitman and he pulled it out.  i tell you it hurt.  Docter Pitman said
the roots must have reached way to the back of my neck.  Beany went
with me and then told all round that i hollered.  you jest wait
Beany.

May 21. erly this afternoon me and Fatty Melcher got some real
segars at Henry Simsons store and went down behind old man
Churchills store and smoked them.  we were both auful sick and laid
there all the afternoon.  when i went home i walked wobbly and mother
asked me if i was sick and she put me to bed and was going to send
for the docter, but father came in and when he found out what aled
me he laffed and said it served me rite.  then after supper he set
out on the steps rite under my window and smoked a old pipe and i
cood smell it and i thought i shood die.  then mother asked him to go
away and he laffed and said all rite, but he gessed i had enuf for
one day and she said she gessed so and i gess so too.  he said if it
hadent made me sick he wood have licked me.

i dont see why it is so, father swears sometimes when he hits his
thum with a hammer and once when he was in the dark he was walking
towards the door with his arms out to feel for the door, one arm
went on one side of the door and the other arm on the other side and
he hit his nose a fearful bump rite on the ege of the door, and i
wish you cood have heard him swear, well if i swear he licks me, and
he smokes and if i do he says he will lick me and he dont go to
church and if i dont go he says he will lick me.  O dear i gess i
wont smoke enny more.

May 22. Went in swimming today twise, once down to the raceway and
once up to the gravel.
***************************************

[Fraxinus]

Plupie has gone and discovered that father's double standard of "Do as I say, not as I do" is painfully applied at times. :D

[asy]

Now now, it's not "Do as I say, not as I do" it's "Just because I do the wrong thing you don't have to, you should learn from my mistakes"...

At least that's what I tell my kids it is...  ;)

I wish we could give Plupie his Cornet. I'd really like to. Anyone got a time machine handy?

asy :D

[Fraxinus]

Yes, I wish I could hear him try to play

ta-ta tata, ta-ta tata, ta-ta tata
tatatatatatata.
ta-te-ta-te-tiddle iddle-a
ta-te-ta-te-tiddle iddle-a
ta-te-ta-te-tiddle-iddle-a
tiddle-iddle-iddle-iddle-ata


If he had a chance to practice, he could probably play it bully or splendid.

[Jeff]

*************************************
May 23. Went butterflying with Chick Chickering today, it is a
little early for them, but we got two blew and black ones and three
little red ones.  Me and Chick are making aquariams.  Chick has got a
splendid glass one.  i made mine out of a butter firkin.  i sawed it
off half way and then washed it out with soft soap and rensed it 2
or 3 times and then i put in some white sand and stones and i have
got some little minnies and kivies and a little pickerel.  it looks
splendid and i change the water every 3 days.

May 24. Nothing particular today.
*************************************

[Sprucegum]

That kid is always doing something , somebody ought to tell him about television  ;)

[Jeff]

I was thinking sort of the same thing when I posted that one. I remember as a kid the only time we were inside was if it was storming out. We were collecting tadpoles or fishing, or spearing frogs or hunting for bottles or building forts or making machines or doing something. T.V. was limited to the 20 minutes of dark before the school bus came. Cartoon Carnival with Under Dog and Dudley Doright and such. Later in the spring when it was daylight, we skipped cartoons in order to hunt for 3 cent beer bottles walking to the bus stop. (We had some heavy drinkers in the area and that quarter mile of castor road got new bottles most every night.)

[Fraxinus]

That boy must be so busy he doesn't have time to write.  Maybe he needs to be punished and sent to bed early so that he can catch up on his diary. :D

[Jeff]

oops...
************************************
May 25. i can swim under water from the big tree on Moulton's side
of the river at the gravel to the tree on the bank on Gilman's
side.  i went in 3 times today.

May 26. My rooster is sick.  he has et something.  he sits all humped
up.  i went in swimming 2 times today.

May 27. My rooster is pretty sick.  i tride to give him some kiann
pepper tonite.  father said kiann pepper was good for sick hens, so i
held his mouth open and give him a spoonful.  when i let him go he
kept his mouth open and sorter sneezed pip-craw pip-craw pip-craw,
and then he went to the water dish and began to drink.  i think he is
better because he hadent drank any water for 2 days before.  he was
still drinking when i went away.  i gess he will be a lot better
tomorrow.

May 28. What do you think, this morning when i went out to feed my
hens i found my rooster dead.  he had drank up all the water and he
was all puffed up.  i felt pretty bad.  father says i gave him enuf
kiann pepper for a horse.  he aught to have told me.  he was a pretty
good rooster too.  i am having pretty tuff luck.

May 29. i read over my diary today.  i have forgot to tell whether it
was brite and fair or rany, i cant say now.

May 30, 186- Nothing particular today.  brite and fair.

May 31. brite and fair.  went up to Whacker Chadwicks today after
school to help him plant his garden.  we had about a bushel of
potatoes to plant and it was fun to sit round a basket and cut up
the potatoes.  after a while Gim Erly and Luke Mannux cume along and
we began to plug potatoes at them, they plugged them back and we had
a splendid fite, me and Whack and Pozzy and Boog Chadwick on one
side and Gim Erly and Luke Mannux and Bob Ridly on the other.  Luke
Mannux hit me twice rite in the back of the head.  i am going up
tomorrow to help them some more.  went in swimming once to-day.

May 32 no i mean June 1. i went up to Chadwicks after
school.  Captin Chadwick was there and they wasent enny pluggin
potatoes.  went in swimming.

June 2. Rany.  Beany is mad with me.  i dont care.
************************************

[Dave Shepard]

I am really, really, really glad I am not one of his chickens. ;D


Dave

[Burlkraft]

I am really, really, really glad I am not one of his chickens. ;D


Dave

I second that... ;) ;) ;)

He could have gotten in ta the "pre-seasoned" dead chicken business  :D :D :D

[Jeff]

********************
June 3. went to church today.

********************

[Dave Shepard]

To pray for the chickens souls?


Dave

[asy]

This thread seems to be merging with the "Fried Chicken" thread..

Why would you give a chicken Cayenne pepper??? 

Poor chook, must have been an awful death. I hate hot pepper.

He's really funny, though. I loved the "May 32 no I mean June 1" bit. That was funny.

Wish my Son would get outside more.

asy :D

[Tom]

Have you given your boy a log-book yet, Asy?

[asy]

No, Tom, I haven't.

I suspect that, if it's not to do with a computer game instruction he won't be interested.

However, I think it's worth a try.

Thanks for the thought.

asy :D

* asy wanders off to find a couple of excersise books for each kid...  :D

[Tom]

An old joke from when I was a kid.
A boy was taken on a summer trip.  He hadn't been interested in anything he had seen.
At the edge of the Grand Canyon he looked for a minute and then got back into the car and wrote something in his  log-book.  His Father, curious becase he hadn't seen him write in it yet, stole a look.  In  the page for that date he found, "today I spit a mile".

[Jeff]

*****************************
June 4. clowdy but no rane.  went up to Chadwicks today and sawed
wood.  Boog and Pozzy fit while me and Whack sawed wood then we went
in swiming down to Sandy Bottom.  some body tide some hard gnots in
my shirt.  i forgot to split my kindlings tonite.

June 5. brite and fair.  Beany is still mad.

*****************************

[Jeff]

*****************************
June 6. brite and fair.  i know what Beany is mad about.  he thinks i
told about his getting a licking.  i dident tell.  he can stay mad if
he wants to.

*****************************

[SwampDonkey]

Sounds like the kids they have working for DNR who oversea the silviculture program. The local marketing board spent a little over budget last year and paid crews with their management funding from their wood levies they collect. Perfectly legit. Bone head in charge down at DNR said he held back money a month because they over spent last year. Behaving like a bully in the play ground as if it was his money that was being spent. None of his business actually. All he's done his kept all us contractors from getting pay for the last 5 weeks. I got a mind to ask the guy if this is what it's like to be an RPF and tell'm what he can do with his certificate because toilet paper would be worth more.


There.........what's next in the diary?  ;D :D