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Big Happenings in Small Town USA

Started by Corley5, May 25, 2002, 08:50:36 PM

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Corley5

Since Momma and Zack are doing quite well I've had some time the last couple days to get some stuff done around the farm.  While plowing a field today I got to thinking about some of the memorable stuff that has happened in Wolverine over the years.  One of the first that came to mind was when Jimmy Hoffa's hand was found in the local landfill.  During a Saturday afternoon of beer drinking and rat shooting at the dump some of the local boys found what they thought were the skeletal remains of a human hand.  As it was not too long after Hoffa disappeared it caused a great stir.  The local police came and were quickly replaced by the FBI who sealed the whole area off etc etc.  A medical examiner determined the next day that the "hand" was actually the remains of a bear paw :D :D :D.  It was big news in town for a while.
  Then there's our local militia.  It so happens that Wolverine was/is a headquarters of sorts for the Michigan Militia which gained international attention after the Oklahoma City Bombing.  This was by no means a laughing matter but what a way for a little town in Northern Mi to get noticed :o.  It just so happened that the weekend following the horrific event was the militia's annual party.  What a zoo.  We had all the major networks in town doing interviews and filming, there were un-marked sedans that were obviously some sort of federal entity, we even had black helicopters :o.  Really there were black helicopters.  The militia guys still had their party.  I had to drive by their HQ, Fort Wolverine or something like that, to get to a friends house and here were more media trucks and cops and at the entrance were two guys I know dressed in their militia fatigues, carrying SKS assault rifles, guarding the entrance ::).  What a fiasco.  These two guys were as proud as peacocks.  Talk about giving rednecks a bad name ;).  When I saw them a few days later they asked why I didn't wave when they waved at me as I passed.  I wonder why I didn't wave ;D.   What started out as a bunch of good old boys getting together to target practice and have a good time quickly degenerated and many of them couldn't quit fast enough after what went on.  Norm Olsen, the Commander is still in Alanson where he runs the Alanson Armory.  It's actually a pretty neat little gunshop.  It runs pretty heavy to old military weapons but he has some sporting arms there too and his prices aren't too bad.  Of course he wants everyone armed ;)  Fort Wolverine which used to be Reloaders Sporting Goods and Guns is now the New Freedom Church with Rev. Norm Olsen officiating.  I hope we never get that kind of recognition again.  For a long time after that when ever I told someone where I was from people would get a strange look in their eyes ;D.
Anybody else have any tales of Big Happenings in small towns?  
Burnt Gunpowder is the Smell Of Freedom

L. Wakefield

   Waal, twa'n't 3 weeks ago that they had a truckload of chicken manure capsize on one of the curves on the river road. Toned out the Fire Department, they did, and had 3 trucks and all the officers in town respond to hose down the road. Lots of radio traffic as to which hydrant to fill up at. I was right glad they didn't have any need to tone out rescue. I kept thinking to myself- 'now don't slip, boys, whatever you do.. :)   lw
L. Wakefield, owner and operator of the beastly truck Heretik, that refuses to stay between the lines when parking

Ron Wenrich

My township sits close to the state capitol, and has 2 Interstates running through it.  Now we have a lot of unwanted industrial development along with urban sprawl.

But, the hot topic of debate was the opening of a bottle club.  This is where you bring your own drinks, pay an entrance fee, and watch scantilly clad young ladies dance. :o  The owner runs a fairly decent establishment and attracts patrons from outside the area as well as a nearby National Guard base.  Being a bottle club, it doesn't need a liquor license.  The police were only called there once in the past year.

Well, we had a primary election where they wanted to ban any type of bottle club, excepting fire companies and any "charitable" institution.  They also made it binding and retroactive.  

So, the locals have voted them out, saving the rest of us from a life of sin and destruction.  Meanwhile, you can get the same thing on the cable.  We also have a local bar that serves minors, is a good place for drug deals and fights, and even had an incident where one guy was chasing another guy with a running chain saw.  But, that's OK since there ain't any naked women. :D
Never under estimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Tom

Last week a semi with an open trailer loaded with thousands of pounds of cabbages turned over on I-95 in the middle of town.  They had the South bound lane blocked for hours and since it happened at the intersection of I-95 and I-10,  Both interstates were closed.

It kind of reminded me of  Harry Chapin's song, 30,000 lbs of Bananas.  :D

DanG

We had our little moment in the sunshine, last year.  Interstate 10 was closed down by our Emergency Management Director because 2 55 gallon drums of an unknown substance fell off a truck on the shoulder, leaving huge globs of orange, gelatinous matter on the edge of the roadway. They called in HazMat units from Tallahassee, State and Federal environmental official were summoned, and the Health Department was prepared to quarantine travelers who had been exposed to the dreaded FRENCH DRESSING!!

 :D :D :D ::) ::) ::) ??? ???
"I don't feel like an old man.  I feel like a young man who has something wrong with him."  Dick Cavett
"Beat not thy sword into a plowshare, rather beat the sword of thine enemy into a plowshare."

RavioliKid

Well, I think this happened before I lived here, but we've had the Elvis sightings here in Kalamazoo.

Top THAT!  ;)
RavioliKid

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