With the passing of a few menbers I sometimes set back and wonder if the day will come when I say to myself [ I wish I hadn't worked so much ] When our dog died last Friday it floored me how fast it happened one second she was living and in a split second she was gone. For ever how long we may have on this earth, are we doing the right thing ? I buy my fishing license and when I get there before you know it I start thinking about what needs fixed or firewood thats needed for the next winter and I load up and go home. Use to do some hunting trips seems like anymore I come up with a reason why I should be working, I sure wish I could sort it all out before its to late ::).
i hear you, im the same way. when i go set in the deer stand i get to looking at all the trees that need processing into one thing or other, and from there i get to thinking about all my projects i need to be working on.
I think we all could enjoy the journey more.
Waiting to retire to be able to do something you enjoy maybe too late.
A lot of things can get in the way like Time, money, commitments and other people in your life expectations.
Sometimes life throws you a bunch of curves. You gotta keep da eye on da ball.
I will attempt to enjoy the Journey more so than before. ;)
I've been struggling with the same thing right now. I've spent a lot of time up north working in the woods. Its not something I wanted to do, its not something I get paid to do, but its something that needed to be done. I still took care of my other duties for clients while up there, but have been putting off new clients until I got this finished, or at least to a point where the weather puts an end to it, which has pretty much happened. I came home last week figuring on getting to work on the new stuff, then I get a call to go back up, mostly just to be there in case my brother-in-law had further health issues while he was there. I came home today. In fact I just got home, but now the way things worked out, I will be leaving again Tuesday with Burlkraft for a short road trip that will end with me once again back up at the cabin for the first part of deer season. I still have all of this potential new work ahead of me, and I hate to put people off, but like it was said, life is short. I've been fretting about having this stuff pile up around me, and end up not enjoying anything I do because of it. I'm not going to do that. I don't fib to people. I tell them exactly what I intend to do. Sometimes though those plans get screwed up and then I start thinking people will think I'm something I've never been. Someone that does not stand behind what they say.
I guess that is what bothers me more than anything. The way people think. I know there are people on this forum that think I am a jerk, because many times they only see the things I have to say and do publicly to keep the forum running the way it needs to run. I don't like to be perceived that way. I know the people that really know me know who I really am, but I still have those that send me notes about how mean and nasty I am. I don't like it, but live with it.
Today I had an epiphany. In the last month I've lost two good friends. Friends that now that they are gone, I regret not having spent more time communicating with them. I let other things get in the way of that. Tuesday I am going with Steve. the stuff I need to do will be here when I get back. If it isn't, I'm not going to fret about it.
Jeff, The women call this a mid life crisis in men. YOU are one of the reasons I joined this forum in the first place. so dont beat on yourself to bad. when death comes knocking on the door no one living has control over it. take the time to sort through your thoughts at your pace, it will come to you! I agree with Mooseherder, its not the destination that counts its the journey getting there. Keep well,Tim
Nobody lays on their deathbed and says "You know, I should have spent more time at work". ;)
Recently I have had the same thoughts. In early family life I did the double/triple shift thing chasing $$$. Now days working for the government in a small rural town and on call I try to give a service akin to being owned by the ratepayers. I would like to scale back a bit and are studying towards starting a small business to supplement the farm and allow me time with my younger children.
Last weekend I ran the mill for the 1st time in 12mths to cut some timber for Nickys chicken sheds, boy was it good to turn the work phones off and get some sawdust happening. :)
Sometimes the best layed plans of mice and men just don't work out .
I could retire right now if I wanted to .However retirement doesn't pay as much as working and retirees insurance is not as good and with a preexisting health problem insurance for my wife would not be cheap .That's just the way the cookie crumbles .
So for now I'll just be a part time weekend warrior type treeman,faller tinkerer of chainsaws and other greasey items .I mean it isn't like I'd care to do it full time anyway .You gotta take time for the better things in life like bear hunting under the sheets and drinking beer ,ya know . 8)--ain't I an ornery old coot ---
It's been a little over a year since I died from my heart attack. In the hospital I did alot of thinking about what I would do if I made it the next year. I decided I would try to live each day as it came.
It has been a long journey since that day. My health is better than it has been for a long time. I owe that to living one day at a time. I make no plans, because plans change. No one knows what's going to happen from minute to minute let alone day to day.
Stress ruled my life. I always had too much to do, not enough time. Then bam. I can't do anything. I learned to relax. You have to. This life is crazy enough. always take time to do what you really enjoy with people you really enjoy being with. Take time for yourself.
A good friend of mine told me after my heart attack, "you know that Superman had the Fortress of Solitude, ALL men should have theirs."
I have no time for drama in my life so I cut out those that caused so much in my life. I surround myself with friends I want there. I never met Tom or Brother noble, but I lost 2 friends that will FOREVER be in my heart. As will the other members of my online family.
Life is too short and precious to worry about the small details. They will always work themselves out. Instead worry about the things that matter, like what to do I want for supper, What day is mom/dads birthday on, you know the things that really matter. Work never matters.
If you are not happy with your life change it. The only thing stopping you is your own fear. Fear about what comes next. The hardest step is the first step. After that you have no choice but to continue.
Do in your life what makes you the happiest. If you are living your own life then your job should be one that is not a job. Each day should be an adventure.
Remember to say " I love you" Everyday, to those you love. They are the ones that will stand beside you through everything life throws at you. Those that mock you are just scared to live their own lives.
The greatest gift we ever have is freedom. Are you going to chain yourself down and loose your freedom, or are you going to break those chains and live your life to the fullest? The only one that can make that choice is you.
Life and happiness come from within, nothing external will ever give you true happiness.
Chase your dreams one day at a time.
And I will end this long winded thought with a quote I found just yesterday, and has become my favorite quote. " I live life one day at a time, sometimes several days gang up on me at once."
Seems like alot of you guys look at it with a great attitude,but my problem is I seem to be to responsible, I always told my family doctor I wished she had a [ I don't give a s### pill ] I worry about the weather going bad this time of year,I worry about equipment breaking down before it even happens, I worry about having a accident with my log truck and what can happen. Stupid I know but how do you change ? I told close friends that I can ruin a good time worrying about what could happen. I tell myself to change but in the morning I will be in my truck going after the skidder at day light. Many a times I will be going down a road and pass someones house and I will say to myself [ I should stop and see how there doing ] but will rip by and get working. Then a month or so later I will get a call where they passed and I will kick myself for not stopping. But do i change no !Two weekend ago I took a handy cap hunter on a deer hunt and I told my wife that it was the first weekend my mind was at ease and it sure was calming and the crazy part of that I would of liked to get out of that because the weather was good and I should of been in the woods working. Maybe I can blame my mom and dad they worked like dogs there whole life and taught us kids the same thing. I have four older sisters and the oldest at 74 still works ten hour days. Sorry for going on and on but it helps out to know Iam not the only one with the same thoughts ;)
Hate to tell you, guys, it don't get any better with age. I'm past the 3/4 century mark and still have the same problem. Always too busy to take the time to spend some quality time with friends and neighbors. Lost a fine neighbor last week. He was in intensive care hospital for 7 months. I went to see him once. Next thing I know, his wife calls, asks if I would be a pall bearer at his funeral smiley_crying. I have come to this conclusion about FF folks. We blame it on sawdust in the blood, but the truth is, most of us are workaholics and there is no easy cure. Hug your wife and kids, say hi to your neighbors, tell your friends how much they mean to you.
Quote from: fuzzybear on November 04, 2011, 06:42:21 PM
It's been a little over a year since I died from my heart attack. In the hospital I did alot of thinking about what I would do if I made it the next year. I decided I would try to live each day as it came.
Ain't nuthin' like bein' dead on a table for a bit to totally change your outlook on
EVERYTHING. I was dead for 28 seconds or so... I got lucky...Nailhead didn't. He was the first FF loss for me. I didn't know him long, but for the time I knew him I really respected him and enjoyed his company. I wish we cudda spent a little more time together.
I've gotten 4 plus extra years on my life and I live each day one at a time and I try to enjoy every minute.
That's why Jeff and I are going to enjoy a few minutes this week ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Burlkraft on November 04, 2011, 08:58:41 PM
.. I live each day one at a time and I try to enjoy every minute.
Steve might enjoy every minute of the day, but he sure works hard sawing all night in his sleep. I even heard him strike a few knots.
Quote from: pigman on November 04, 2011, 10:39:21 PM
Quote from: Burlkraft on November 04, 2011, 08:58:41 PM
.. I live each day one at a time and I try to enjoy every minute.
Steve might enjoy every minute of the day, but he sure works hard sawing all night in his sleep. I even heard him strike a few knots.
You sure that wasn't me you heard? After all, I'm just down here in the Panhandle of Florida and LOUD noises do travel, especially at night.
Herb
Quote from: Burlkraft on November 04, 2011, 08:58:41 PM
Jeff and I are going to enjoy a few minutes this week ;D ;D ;D
Hope you guys have a great time !!!
smiley_beertoast Make the best of times.
It's OK to work but don't use work as an excuse not to do the important things in life.
1. Spend time with family. Children grow up fast and you need to be there as they grow up. You need to be involved with them and not a spectator.
2. Never miss a chance to visit someone. That chance might not come around again.
3. Always be as nice as you can to people. It might be the last time you have a chance to talk to them.
4. Enjoy life. If you enjoy a certain food or beverage that is "unhealthy", enjoy it but in moderation.
5. Don't put things off. Take that trip, go to that movie or ball game. There will come a time that you can't.
Spending the time to raise our son is the best thing I ever did in life.
Right now, I'm building a homestead of sorts in rural SC. It's the second-best thing I've ever done. We planned and saved, and when the time was right, I quit my job, loaded up the tools, and headed for our property. Yes, it's hard work, but it's the kind of hard work I enjoy, and I'm doing it for my wife and I, not some nameless boss in a corporation somewhere. My wife worries about me working alone, but I told her that if the unspeakable should happen, at least she'll know I died a happy man.
I think the luckiest people are those who enjoy their daily work. I always have, minus crummy bosses and working conditions. I'm a tool maker by trade and I enjoy it- I like what I do. It took me a lot of years to realize this, and be satisfied with it rather than trying to one-up the Joneses.
I can't imagine 100% full retirement. I like being busy and having things to do. Unfortunately, I can already tell by some of my aches and pains that I may out-live my body, and be forced to slow down.
Quote from: scgargoyle on November 05, 2011, 07:59:58 AM
Unfortunately, I can already tell by some of my aches and pains that I may out-live my body, and be forced to slow down.
Well on that I'll tell you exactly what happens,you find a different way of doing things .I know very well . ;)
I am guilty.
I don't spend enough time with family and friends.
However I blame it on my dad. He taught me to work till I am done. The trouble with that is I never get done.
I went to a basketball game of Dakota's and Scott's last football game of the season this week. I took my wife to dinner and a movie last night. We had a good time.
I strongly recomend the movie we saw. It cost more to get in than a whole evening date when Anita and I were dating but it will be money well spent. COURAGEOUS.
Jeff,
I don't think you are a jerk or have a bad attitude about anything. I think you must be a stand up guy and I for one appreciatte that. If this forum wasn't a family friendly place to be, I wouldn't be on here. I know you work hard to keep it that way. Thank You. PC
2. "Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity."
3. What profit hath a man of all his labor which he taketh under the sun?
Ecc 1:2&3
Once I asked my Preacher about deer hunting on Sunday. I told him that I sat in church that morning thinking about how pretty it was out the window and how the deer were probly moving all under my stand. He told me it was better to be in the deer stand on Sunday thinking about being in church, than in church thinking about being on the deer stand. He said then my mind was in the right place even if my body was not. There is great wisdom in his words.
For 10 years I worked dawn till dark 6 and sometimes 7 days a week and when I lost it all I was alone and without anything to do. I have not sawed a log in 3 months now and miss it like I have lost a hand. But I loved what I did and most of you are the same as me. So if you are in the skidder in the woods wishing you were in the deer stand or in the deer stand wishing you were in the skidder there is no loss for all is vanity.
JUST enjoy what you are doing at the time you are doing it and remember that while some people will say that none lie in the grave wishing they had worked more is not true. Because I know there are logs that will rot not tasting my blade in order to live again. For a tree is a creation of GOD and is put here for our use and we honor Him in doing what is right with what we are given. Let there be no vanity in the waste of a talent or skill and remeber to stop and smell the roses on the journey of life and spend some time on the deer stand.
(https://forestryforum.com/gallery/albums/userpics/10186/DSC01739f.JPG)
What Paul said, except I know you to be a standup, guy that is.
I didn't know Jeff did standup. Can't wait to see his show! :D
Seriuosly, this push - pull is in all of us. I hate leaving things undone, so I guess I have been guilty of accepting that things have gone undone at home as a consequence. Before I got married (age 40) I was married to my work. I'm sure I still am, and I need to constantly remind myself that my family "job" (ouch!) is much more important. Our nest is empty starting next fall, so Jenny and I will be looking at each other across the dinner table without the kids as a focal point. Need to make sure that that's a good moment repeated everyday.
Quote from: paul case on November 05, 2011, 09:05:45 AM
Jeff,
I don't think you are a jerk or have a bad attitude about anything. I think you must be a stand up guy and I for one appreciatte that. If this forum wasn't a family friendly place to be, I wouldn't be on here. I know you work hard to keep it that way. Thank You. PC
PC just said what I was thinking :)
Quote from: D Hagens on November 05, 2011, 01:07:22 PM
Quote from: paul case on November 05, 2011, 09:05:45 AM
Jeff,
I don't think you are a jerk or have a bad attitude about anything. I think you must be a stand up guy and I for one appreciatte that. If this forum wasn't a family friendly place to be, I wouldn't be on here. I know you work hard to keep it that way. Thank You. PC
PC just said what I was thinking :)
Me too.
I have been so blessed in that I have been self employed since I was 25 years old. There was very few football games, wrestling matches or soccer games that I missed. That is not because my business was so successful that I didn't have any money worries but I knew that the time I had with the boys was going to be shorter than I wanted.
In your business life there will always be things to worry about, dollars to chase or deals to close. In your family life you only have the moments to take with you. You must learn to recognize the moments and seize them. Like a trip to a cabin with a friend, or the few times I had to go through Jacksonville, Fl. to get parts for some equipment I would stop and pick up Mr. Tom. We would get some lunch (usually BBQ) pick up the part and do some visiting. I cherish the time I got to spend with Mr. Tom.
Last year on a bike ride through the mid west I got to meet Bro. Noble and spend the night with him and his family. I will hold that visit very dear to my heart for the rest of my life. I met with a few other members on that trip and am very thankful that I was able and welcome to do so.
I don't have very many answers to life but I learned from Curly on the movie City slickers, that there is only one thing that matters and everything else don't mean much. Keep your one thing as your main goal and you will be much happier in life.
My one thing is my family!
Mother has said, on more than one occasion, concerning extended family and acquaintances: "If they can't come see me when I'm alive, then don't bother when I'm dead". And she means it. ;D ;)
Ya Jeff, I think you do a stand-up job to keep the forum going. I enjoy reading all the replies of the members on the different subjects. And I learn a lot. What to and what not to do. But I'm like the rest of you being workaholics. I do take time off in the fall to go to all the fairs in NH, Maine and Vermont. And for the last two years I have been demonstrating the Wood-Mizer at the Sandwich Fair. The last fair of the season in NH. This year was beautiful weather and they had a record crowd of 40.000 + and I think I talked to half of them. After 3 days my ears hurt :D :D :D But I do love to saw wood and talk with my customers. Most of them are stand-up people, but you know sometimes there can be a bad apple and I don't let them get me down. I just had all my chainsaws stolen and I was upset for about 15 minutes then went out and bought new saws. I'm trying Dolmars this time instead of Huskys.Just bought a 9 acre woodlot that hasn't seen a saw in 30 plus years. Can't wait to get in there to cut. :D
There is one thing more tragic than waiting until someone is gone and then wishing that you had done more with them. That is for both of you to be alive and and still not doing it. Visit now, catch up on old times, do a favor or return a favor. Sit on the front porch and rock together.
I try to pass on a gentle reminder with each post that I make. "Before you die....take time to live".
Retirement, means to me,I can do what I want,when I want and as much as I want. If I want to cut wood and cut down a tree and walk off and start to dig rocks,or go for a walk and get back to the tree a day later than so be it. I try to talk to people I see in stores from years ago. Teachers,co workers,class mates whoever. It only takes a few minutes most times,sometimes longer,but that is fine too.
What is weird for me is that I seem to be able to learn to do most anything BUT retire. We have enough, and more, for me to never work again, but whenever I clear out the work, the next thing you know, I pick up another project, etc.
Oh well, I guess it keeps me happy... and keeps me out of my wife's hair. :D
But, I don't fish enough and don't visit friends enough. I definitely spend enough time walking the plantations though, which is fun.
Our daughter and a girl friend are sending three weeks with us right now, and that is wonderful. Adult children as so much more fun than teenagers. :D Especially when they turned out well.
I'm away from my wife quite a bit with work, and when we first bought our house we wanted to do a lot of upgrades to it, so I was working extra and away a lot. A couple of years ago we both made a decision to enjoy life more, and learn to relax, to spend more quality time together.
Since then, I stopped going a million miles a minute and working all day everyday when I was home from work. I've really learned to relax and smell the roses.
I'm now home as much as I can be, still away a lot, but home on vacation 6 months a year.
We came up with some small, seemingly insignificant ideas, a couple of the ideas we came up with, were to always go to bed together, we don't go up to the bedroom until the two of us are both ready. Every morning when we wake up, we wake up together, we make coffee together, and we sit on our couch in front of the window drinking our coffee, looking at the birds in the trees, the horses across the street, the snow in the winter, and the leaves in the fall. We talk, the t.v. stays off....we have some of our best conversations on that couch in the mornings.
Last year my wife quit her job, it was the best decision we've ever made. Now we're working on starting a family. I hope I learned early enough in life to enjoy everyday like it was the last, to not wish the day away, to realize it's okay if something goes unfinished when it's time to relax .
Another rule we have, no chores after dinner.....Thats quality time for each other.
Yeah Piston, that not wishing the day away is hard enough when the days are going bye fast anyway. ;D
I remember when I was a kid we would say to each other "lets play men". I am one that thinks work is good. it is our playtime. My toys are work toys. I don't have any holiday trailers, boats, fancy quads or motorcycles. Am I happy? Not really, because I dont think I am working hard enough and my enegy level is low. My excuse for being somwhat unhappy is that I am in my fifties. It's not just me. I think being in your fifties is quite devastating for a lot of people. I have also heard a lot of people that have a hard time in their fifties snap out of it in their sixties and have a whole new energy then. That is what I am hoping for.. at least I'm still looking forward to something
All through my life up to my 50's, I loved work. Then my metabolism changed and I have to push my butt. Oh well. Now I have more time for this forum.
QuoteToday I had an epiphany. In the last month I've lost two good friends. Friends that now that they are gone, I regret not having spent more time communicating with them. I let other things get in the way of that. Tuesday I am going with Steve. the stuff I need to do will be here when I get back. If it isn't, I'm not going to fret about it.
I lost one of my childhood and on best friends last month to a terrible disease. We lived about 5 hours apart and the visits became very few and far between over the last 10 years. Upon hearing of his passing my first thoughts was i wished I had gotten up to visit more often. At this point this scenario is becoming more frequent. Last year the wife and I decided that 1 weekend a month we were going to do something with family and friends instead of the things that needed being done. It's been a difficult thing to accomplish but we're still trying to make it happen. The good news is that all of the things needing being done are always there when we get back to them.
I'm probly the youngest one to reply to this. my wife gets on me all the time about not spending enough time with her and our almost 2yr old daughter and I always have an excuse for going off and doing something .I guess it was the experiance I had as a boy, my dad worked from early morning to Late nights hauling asphat with his own truck and you know how boys want to be like there dad. Well after diesel school I've worked from before sun up to midnight for 4yrs I've tried to change but there is always something to be done. last night my wife invited her parents and mine for supper and me and dad went outside and changed the water pump on our skidder, took longer than we thaught so my wife went to bed mad at me agian.i keep telling her one day I'll everything will be done but she don't bileave me.
Jeff I haven't been on FF longer but I think your a great guy. james H
I have been very blessed over my lifetime to have widely varied work experiences and to have worked with many very talented people. My wife has continually been on me to pass some of it to our sons and grandsons. Health restrictions have forced me to do so lately and guess what, it isn't that difficult to quietly guide them through a project. Probably a man's greatest achievement is a respected family he leaves behind. I can't make up for all the time I missed when they were growing up, but I can be there with a helping hand. I need to see and contact some old friends before time takes away that option. ;)
That little girl of yours will be out of high school and you will still be working from sun up to sun down. Money is nice,but memories are better. That is one quick way for a child to go bad. You HAVE to be there for her NOW. Who knows what tomorrow will bring. Don't want to be hard on you,but someone besides your wife has to do it. ;D
I agree with thecfarm.
Take it from a guy that worked on the road for most of my son's growing up years. They are only young once. :)
You can't make new old friends.
Quote from: Den Socling on November 06, 2011, 10:43:26 AM
... Then my metabolism change and I have to push my butt. ...
Den,
In my case at least, that's fairly strenous exercise. :D
Herb
One of my friends dad told me that he was 80 years old and and never did get everything done that he wanted to and was sure as hell not going to start now.
I always tell people that chide me about some ,well many projects I have not finished yet , If I die tomarrow look at all the work I will not have to do .
Just enjoy life . Don't put up with the cumudgons that only want to make life unhappy for you . There are people that enjoy making other people miserable , avoid them . Help the people that want to make life enjoyable.
Quote...There are people that enjoy making other people miserable , avoid them . Help the people that want to make life enjoyable.
Well said Don! ;)
Thanks to this thread I got to see my son and grandson last night.
I was out using the ripper planning on being finished well after midnight when I got an email from my son Joel. He was going to stop by with his 18 month old son to pick up some supplies I have stored for them in our office here around 6pm. Patty called me shortly after 6 and said we had visitors at the house. Instead of explaining that I had to have this finished before the rains showed up I threw it into high gear and headed for the house. Had a nice visit with Joel and Cael and a late supper with Patty.
That field isn't going anywhere. :)
Time is the coin of your life.
It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it is spent.
Be carelful less you let other people spend it for you.
-Carl Sandburg
I kept this taped to the wall in my office for many years. When the opportunity came to retire early I jumped on it.
I work harder now than I ever have, but I work on the things I want to work on. When I am with friends and family it is always quality time because I want to be there. Much different from I have to be there.
Another quote: I am the one that has to die when it is time for me to die. So let me live my life the way I want to.
- Jimi Hendrix
If you are not happy, no one can make you happy. It is up to you!
ON my job people often ask me to do things for them in my "spare time". I tell them I have only three kinds of time; regular time, over time, and quality time, which one do you want to pay for?
Family time has always been my favorite quality time, especially now with grand children.
I ran out of work with my brother 2 years ago and haven't worked much since . It has been great . I do the house chores and make sure our 10 year old gets to where he thinks he needs to be .the stress level has gone way down . My brother lives to work, I always worked to live . His 2 kids (18 & 19 ) are both in college and he only went on 1 family vacation with them . He has always been too busy working .