Dan,
Yes, you do have a sense of humor. It sounds like it is just warped enough to keep us all laughing. I think we will get along just fine whenever we meet in person.

Don't have a compressor ? How do you get anything done ?
I would have a hard time without one. In fact I actually have 3 of them. The 4 hp/20 gal oilless unit that I started with, would do about 80% of the things I use air for today. It was portable, but not something you would want to carry up a flight of stairs. I have a 5hp/60 gal - 240V unit installed in the equipment room I added to the garage/shop. I recently bought a small easy to carry unit for small jobs using air nailers.
You can get a nice 115V/20A unit for around $275. I think you will find it money well spent. Just my two cents worth.
I also use a 4 1/2 inch right angle grinder with a sanding pad adapter for the heavier rust removal. You can get emery sanding disks in various grades that will fit them. I normally follow that up with glass-bead blasting before putting on a coat of primer.
VA-Sawyer