A new long term care plan!

[Stan]

"No nursing home for me! I'm checking into the Holiday Inn.

With the average cost for a nursing home per day reaching $188.00, there is a better way when we get old and feeble. I have already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn. For a combined long-term stay discount and senior discount, it's $49.23 per night.   That leaves $138.77 a day for:

1. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner in any restaurant I want, or room service.
2. Laundry, gratuities, and special TV movies.  

Plus, they provide a swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge, washer, dryer, etc. Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap. They treat you like a customer, not a patient. $5.00 worth of tips a day will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.  There is a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free. The handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp).

To meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays.

For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there. While you're at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.

It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today. And you are not stuck in one place forever, you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city. Want to see Hawaii? They have a Holiday Inn there, too.  

TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem. They fix everything and apologize for the inconvenience.

The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks if you are OK. If not, they will call the undertaker or an ambulance. If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the  hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life. And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to find you, and probably check in for a few days mini-vacation. The Grandkids can use the pool. What more can you ask for?   So, when I reach the golden age I'll face it with a grin. Just forward all my emails to the Holiday Inn!" Upon telling this story at a dinner with friends and too much red wine, we came up with even more benefits the Holiday Inn provides to retirees: Most standard rooms have coffeemakers, reclining chairs, and satellite TV-all you need to enjoy a cozy afternoon. After a movie and a good nap, you can check on your children (free local phone calls), then take a stroll to the lounge or  restaurant where you meet new and exotic people every day. Many Holiday Inns even feature live entertainment on the weekends.

Often they have special offers, too, like the Kids Eat Free Program.  You can invite your grandkids over after school to have a free dinner with you. Just tell them not to bring more than three friends. Pick a Holiday Inn where they allow pets, and your best friend can keep you company as well. If you want to travel, but are a bit skittish about unfamiliar surroundings, in a Holiday Inn you'll always feel at home because wherever you go, the rooms all look the same.   And if you're getting a little absent-minded in your old days, you never have to worry about not finding your room--your electronic key fits only one door  and the helpful bellman or desk clerk is on duty 24/7.  Being perma-skeptics, we called a Holiday Inn to check this story out--and are happy to report that they were positively giddy at the idea of us checking in for a year or more. They even offered to negotiate the rate (we could have easily  knocked them down to $40 a night!).

See you at the Inn!

[etat]

 

That is an amazing idea.  Heck, I'll but you could tip the maids and they'd even bring you your medicine and do the nursing for you. .  

[Stump Jumper]

  good thinkin stan

[shopteacher]

Well thanks a lot Stan. Now all them old goobers will be filling up all the rooms and when I want to go on vacation I'll be staying in the back room of some choke and puke!

[Frank_Pender]

Anyone see if they would allow for a place to have a mill set up.  Perhaps some of us could create LLC and rotate operating the mill for our own use.

  I have enough land to put up a Holiday Inn and still keep the mill here on the farm.  I could then lease out the main house and live cheaper in the Inn.  With all of the savings I could then afford to keep the farm, the house and all of the other amenities, I hope.

[etat]

Random thoughts.

Now ya got me thinking about old age.


Application blanks always ask who is to be notified
in case of an emergency. I think I'm a gonna  write, "A Good Doctor!"

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with the hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why is it that no plastic garbage bag will open from the end you first try?

In winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your
wife told you to?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me, they were cramming for their finals.

As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on a curve rather than pass/fail.

[Stump Jumper]

 

[Stan]

The temperature here, CK has to be 80 degrees. No more, no less.