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Author Topic: What I think the world needs!  (Read 1884 times)

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Offline Swede

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Re: What I think the world needs!
« Reply #20 on: April 30, 2004, 04:41:23 pm »
Fla._D. Well, we need anyone drop and weigh the anchor. But You NEED to drop it OUTSIDE the rail or we all have to swim.  8)  Just hit the water isn´t good enough!

. Today I get another month from the tax guy. I think my bookkeeper have made anything wrong. If not I´ll make an other deal with Fla._D. where to dump the anchor and I can´t swim.  :-/

Swede.
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Offline J_T

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Re: What I think the world needs!
« Reply #21 on: April 30, 2004, 07:37:18 pm »
Tom our Rooster never sleeps Shopteacher you ever try to get a milk stool under a chicken ??? Sorry mised you guy's last night but Dr Roof had me all shook up with all that four letter talk you know like (WORK)
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Jim Holloway

Offline firtol88

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Re: What I think the world needs!
« Reply #22 on: April 30, 2004, 08:36:06 pm »
I'm in for the fishing but where we gonna get the dynamite?  ???
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Offline etat

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Re: What I think the world needs!
« Reply #23 on: May 01, 2004, 12:37:31 am »
Change the subject for just a minute, I'll get back to it later, still trying to figure out where we're gonna get the dynamite ??? and how I can convince JT that he can handle all them cows. ;)  Come on JT, it's only a week!!! :) Oh, Tom, if that ole rooster don't wanta wake up just let him sleep!!!!! 8)

A truck driver would amuse himself by running over lawyers. Whenever he saw a lawyer walking down the side of the road he would swerve to hit him, enjoy the load, satisfying "THUMP", and then swerve back onto the road.

(at this point some of you are probably wondering how the trucker could distinguish the lawyers from the humans. Obviously he saw the trail of slime they left!)
One day, as the truck driver was driving along he saw a priest hitchhiking. He thought he would do a good turn and pulled the truck over.

He asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?"

"I'm going to the church 5 miles down the road," replied the priest.

"No problem, Father! I'll give you a lift. Climb in the truck." The happy priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road.

Suddenly the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively he swerved to hit him. But then he remembered there was a priest in the truck with him, so at the last minute he swerved back away, narrowly missing the lawyer. However even though he was certain he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud "THUD". Not understanding where the noise came from he glanced in his mirrors and when he didn't see anything, he turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry Father. I almost hit that lawyer."

"That's okay", replied the priest. "I got him with the door!"   ;D

 
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Offline shopteacher

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Re: What I think the world needs!
« Reply #24 on: May 01, 2004, 02:46:33 am »
CK: I take it you don't have a very high opinion of lawyers. I think your in the majority here, but I think them boys might be getting a bad rap. You know they spend lots of time and money going to Harvard and Yale and other fancy prep schools and have to crack the books pretty hard ta get through. Then there's the bar they have to pass to become an official purveyor of laws and justice.
 It's mighty hard work working for an insurance firm and trying to figure how to screw an old couple out of there life savings and at the same time look for loopholes to keep the criminals on the streets so the police have something to keep them busy and working. Then they have to go up against their brethren and do battle (at 350.00 an hour) and be overseen by another lawyer in a black robe. ( I think there was another close knit group, but they wore white robes.)
 Why I could go on and on about their good deeds but don't want to take up valuable server space to applaud all their good deeds (besides have to be careful might be one lurking about and don't want to be sued).
  Why you ever try to weasel a weasel? You got to be pretty slick and I guess that's where the slime trail comes from.
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Offline tawilson

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Re: What I think the world needs!
« Reply #25 on: May 01, 2004, 04:21:46 am »
Don't forget, the ones that can't make it in private practice become prosecutors or politicians.
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Tom

Offline J_T

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Re: What I think the world needs!
« Reply #26 on: May 01, 2004, 10:25:57 am »
Know how many lawers it takes to grease a combine ??? Five if you drive real slow ;D This was told to be true I don't know. Said a man died and had two sons an got it a squabel over the estate. One went to see a lawer and was told he couldn't help as he was allready repesenting his brother but gave him a letter to take to a buddy lawer that could.On the way the bro opened the letter and it read .Hear comes you a fat goose you pluck yours I'll pluck mine . Said they setteled every thing peaceable their self.
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Jim Holloway

Offline etat

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Re: What I think the world needs!
« Reply #27 on: May 01, 2004, 02:48:47 pm »
A man walking along the beach found a bottle. When he rubbed it, lo and behold, a genie appeared.

"I will grant you three wishes," announced the genie. "But there is one condition. I am a lawyer's genie. That means that for every wish you make, every lawyer in the world gets the wish as well -- only double."

The man thought about this for a while. "For my first wish, I would like ten million dollars," he announced.

Instantly the genie gave him a Swiss bank account number and assured the man that $10,000,000 had been deposited. "But every lawyer in the world has just recieved $20,000,000," the genie said.

"I've always wanted a Ferrari," the man said. "That's my second wish."

Instantly a Ferrari appeared. "But every lawyer in the world has just received two Ferraris," the genie said. "And what is your last wish?"

"Well," said the man, "I've always wanted to donate a kidney...
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Offline Swede

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Re: What I think the world needs!
« Reply #28 on: May 01, 2004, 03:01:18 pm »
"............. you ever try to get a milk stool under a chicken......"

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D And a bucket. And 2 knees! :D :D  Can we get a picture? ;D ;D
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Offline AtLast

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Re: What I think the world needs!
« Reply #29 on: May 01, 2004, 03:46:35 pm »
CK
Thats a fantastic idea....but I personally think the 1 MOST valuable time spent in this hussle and bussle rat race time is...family....to often both parents HAVE to work and that easily distracts from whats really important....we allow Play Station or M-TV to " babysit" our kids....or dont have the time to be able to dedicate the time we really want to. To spend it watching our kids grow knowing darn well when they reach " that age"...when they dont want to be seen with mom...or dad....when it's not " cool"...and the times from b4 " that age" become even more precious...the making of snow angles...the walks in the woods and all the other things CK mentioned...it DOES hit home CK...and I couldnt agree with you more....and b4 we know it....they are graduating....working full time and not able to visit because by than....THEY dont have the time...THEY become what we are...We ALL are doing what we have to do in regard to providing and supporting....but DARN it would be GREAT to be able to knock that up to another level....every night when mine were younger I ALWAYS made it a point to take my guitar when it was bed time and we would sing together..each picking their favorite song for the night and leaving them with that memory...being able to say.." I remember when dad would sing WITH us every night..."...
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Offline etat

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Re: What I think the world needs!
« Reply #30 on: May 02, 2004, 12:23:01 am »
And the day will come, Your children will sing to their children.  :)
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Old Age and Treachery will outperform Youth and Inexperence. The thing is, getting older is starting to be painful.

Offline shopteacher

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Re: What I think the world needs!
« Reply #31 on: May 02, 2004, 05:14:01 am »
I just hope it's not rap or hip hop! :o
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Offline Ianab

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Re: What I think the world needs!
« Reply #32 on: May 02, 2004, 06:36:08 am »
What the world needs is bigger,straighter logs, more swingblades, less lawyers and more days off work to go sawing...
Any arguments to that?  8)
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Offline Tom

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Re: What I think the world needs!
« Reply #33 on: May 02, 2004, 08:06:54 am »
......and a big bacon, eggs and grits breakfast with lots of hot, black coffee.
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Offline shopteacher

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Re: What I think the world needs!
« Reply #34 on: May 02, 2004, 08:26:57 am »
Nix them grits and the rest would be swell.
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Tilt Bed Truck  and well equipted wood shop.

Offline Swede

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Re: What I think the world needs!
« Reply #35 on: May 02, 2004, 08:45:19 am »
 :o HellUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!
Is this FoodForum or ForestryForum?
:D :D :D :D :D

Swede.
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Had a mobile band sawmill, All hydraulics  for logs 30\"x19´, remote control. (sold it 2009-04-13)
Monkey Blades.Sold them too)
Jonsered 535/15\". Just cut firewood now.

Offline shopteacher

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Re: What I think the world needs!
« Reply #36 on: May 02, 2004, 08:48:43 am »
You found us out Swede, the Forestry Forum is just a facade for the Food Forum. :D 8) :D 8) :)  And we thought we had it disguised pretty good.
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