Daughter.... First Date.

[Tillaway]

My 14 year old daughter has been asked out on her first date.  I have been dreading this day.

[Patty]

Time to break out the baseball bats!

[Tom]

You are going along, aren't you?

[Norm]

I don't see any problem with that Tillaway, as long as the date consists of sitting on the couch with you in the middle watching TV.

[DanG]

Hooo-boy!  You're in for some nervous evenings. But, now is the time you have to rely on what you instilled in her for the past 14 years.  I just imagine you did a pretty good job.  Just remember, they gotta have a chance to try out their young wings for a while, before they leave the nest for good.  Good luck!

[Ga_Boy]

I will be sitting at the kitchen table field stripping and cleaning my .45 when every "DATE" picks up my daughter.

That's just the way I see it.  

[J_T]

 Our girl at 14 noway out of site noway. Then all the above espeshly Ga Boys. One boy was here once an ask if he needed to move his car I said yes he said where I said try your house  

[etat]

It is absolutely imperative that at your first meeting with this HOODLEM you make the proper impression.

[Brian]

The second date and any dates after that are the ones I would worry about. Thats when you break out the "olde scatter gun" and give it a good cleaning.

[Jeff]

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE DAUGHTER

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, copy of signed Teenager Driving Contract, and current medical report from your doctor.

NAME: _______________________________________
DATE OF BIRTH: ________________________
HEIGHT: ________   WEIGHT: _________  
HAIR COLOR:  __________  EYE COLOR: _________
BIRTHMARKS: _________________________________
IQ: _________  GPA:  ______________  
SOCIAL SECURITY #:  _________________________
DRIVER'S LICENSE #: _________________________
BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES: __________________
_____________________________________________
_____________________________________________
SCHOOLS ATTENDED: ___________________________
_____________________________________________
_____________________________________________
EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES: _________________
_____________________________________________
_____________________________________________
HOME ADDRESS: _______________________________
_____________________________________________
CITY/STATE: _________________________________
___________________________  ZIP: __________
TELEPHONE: _________________________________  
EMAIL: _____________________________________


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Do you own a van? ____ A truck with oversized tires? ____

A waterbed? ____ A pickup with a mattress in the back? ____

A pager? _____

Do you have an ear ring, a nose ring, or a belly button ring? ____

A tattoo? ____
(IF YES TO ANY OF the ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES.)


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In 50 words or less, what does LATE mean to you? __________

________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER mean to you?

________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you?

________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________


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Church you attend: ________________________________________

How often you attend: _____________________________________

When would be the best time to interview your father, mother, and pastor? ______________


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Answer by filing in the blank. Please answer freely. All answers are confidential (that means I won't tell anyone EVER).

A. If I were shot, the last place I would want to be shot would be _____________________

B. If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my _________________________

C. The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is ______________________

D. When I meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her is ____________________________

(IF ANSWER to D. BEGINS WITH "T" OR "A", DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY.)


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What do you want to do IF you grow up? ___________________

______________________________________________________

______________________________________________________

______________________________________________________



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I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ON THIS APPLICATION IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, ELECTROCUTION AND RED HOT POKERS.


______________________________________
SIGNATURE  (that means your name)




Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write. If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties and carrying violin cases.

[Ga_Boy]

 

Good one Jeff .

[AtLast]

Well...I like all your answers....but I have to tell you MY approach....EVERYTIME ...ANY....boy came to my house...I simply shook his hand...pulled him to me and put my arm around his neck....tightly...and CLEARLY said...." If you do ANYTHING to hurt my daughter in ANY way...I'll FREAKIN KILL YA!!!"...and thats the truth....my youngest will be 15 in October...My rule is NO DATES TILL YOU ARE 16!!!!!....

[EZ]

I'm glad its over and done. My youngest was daddys little girl, if she was on the bad side of mom, she would come to me and ask if she could or can I do or can I go and of coarse I would say yes. When she was about 14 all he77 broke loose, she would not listen to me or my wife. When we let her boy friend come over for the first time, there he stood, rings every where and I mean everywhere. We didnt let them date but that didnt mater cause she got prenant at 15. They ran away and got marryed and now they are the best thing that could have happen. They gave us a beauitful grand-daughter.
EZ

[Tillaway]

I like that application idea... but unfortunately she is 300+ miles away right now.  She and her mother are staying at grandmas until we can get into a house over here.  My daughter just transferred into the school there to finish out the year.  She has only been going to that school for a week.  I asked here if she knew anything about the guy that asked her out like... how old is he?  She didn't know.... anyway I think mom might put a stop to it.

Darn and the scatter gun is with me... my wife could sure use it about now.

[oldsaw-addict]

If I had a daughter, the rule is NO freakshow boyfriends, and they will either agree to a set of rules set by both me and her mother if I were married, should the rules be broken at all, he will be looking for another girlfriend, and they had better be no more than a year or two younger or older than each other. My rules are, ABSOLUTELY NO SEXUAL ACTIVITY or I WILL report it to the police as statuory rape which it is for any child under the age of 16 in florida, they will NOT go anywhere that does not have an adult around, she will be home by 9PM and NO LATER THAN THAT, if he does anything to make her cry I will make him cry, the most clothing I will allow to be removed is a coat or jacket, shirts undershirts pants shorts skirts undergarments etc all stay in place. If a boyfriend cannot abide by and accpet these terms then he is GONE, tatoos are ok as long as they are something like I love jesus, or something like that, only 2 piercings and no more than 2 and they will be in the ears not the eyebrows tongue lips arms or any personal parts.

[Corley5]

I hope my son Zach doesn't get shot when he starts dating but then if he was a she or if I have a daughter in the future I'll be having a gun cleaning party when the boy in question comes to pick her up.

[Engineer]

Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter

Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."

Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.


********************

My daughter is seven.  I have a few years to prepare for this.  

[beenthere]

Ahh, I am past that stage of making decisions -- now concerned about the grand daughters decisions (and their parents).  

14 is too young, IMO.  I know people say they are so much smarter these days than when I was their age. I say phooey. I knew everything at 14, but was certainly not mature. I knew everything. But my parents said "no" to dating (and I didn't like it, but later learned that they were right). I don't think the younger generation is any more mature, and maybe less. Only guidelines in some instances are the flaky TV sitcom shows. That is scarry.

As kids this age and until 24 or so, they have to make the 'biggest' decisions of their lives, that can have the biggest and most devastating affect on their lives, with essentially no experience or skills to make those big decisions. I've often thought that as an adult, none of my decisions now could be as costly or compare to those I could make wrong when I was a teenager (not counting driving the car into a brick wall or getting drunk and driving, or the like).

At 14, they need all the help they can get. I can't count the many times our girls would get a phone call from a boy asking them on a date. They would turn to us and ask if they could go, and we would say no. They would whimper a bit, and sound so sad on the phone when they told the boy "my parents said no, sorry". Then after the call they showed their relief that they didn't have to make that decision, we made it for them. Both girls dated little in HS, but met super son-in-laws in college and after college. Lots of opinions and experiences, and I sure don't believe their is a single formula on what the right way is to handle a situation. But parents can give their children something to put their back up against, with good help making their tough decisions.
I like Jeff's application too.  

[Stan]

I agree that 16 is the minimum age for dating. Additionally I made it known that Cinderella time limits meant in the house by midnight, not the driveway. I enforced this one time with a snowball, and the embarassment prevented a repeat. It also spread the word.  

[pasbuild]

Questions to my daughters dates after a firm hand shake.....
#1
Do you have a job?  answer was always no
#2
Are you rich?           answer was always no
#3
Is your dad rich?      answer was always no

I would then explain to him that in no way shape or form was I going to raise and pay for another family and since he didn't have a job and he wasn't independently wealthy and that his dad probably shared my position that he had d**m well better keep his pants on.
Most of them wouldn't be seen a second time and my daughter hated me for doing it but I think I weeded out the guys that had one thing on there minds.

[Duane_Moore]

  8)Tillaway, proly a nice 14 yr old young man, and is as nervous as you are, scared to death, and needs your support and approval. will proly show up with choclates and flowers, and white peggers on, and a turtle neck on, go to a movie and be home by 10:30.  hay by the way want to buy some ocean front property in Wyoming??   Duh---Duane

[Percy]

I think everyone has the right to bring up their children the way they see fit and no "one rule for all" really works. You know your kids better than anyone and Im sure everyone makes the right choices for their family situation. Lookit EZ. Was bent outta shape at first and now is grinnin like  a cat eating guts.  Point being, if you truly want them to be happy in their lives, dont chase away the one person that possibly may do it. Its kinda like balancing beach ball on yer forehead in a strong breeze and hindsight is .....well, hind sight.

[Frank_Pender]

Well, Tillaway, I know exactly how you feel.  ZI was fortunate enough to have had 2 fantastice, well behaved sons.  The got kind of message from me that some of the fellas have shared on this thread.

Jeff, I hope you do not mind, but I had the wife reproduce a hard copy of you application.   My youngest son, doughter-in-law and Grand-Doughter will be here this coming Friday.  It will be the first time since they have returned from Haiti as missionaries that I will have seen my doughter-in-law and Grand Doughter in over a year.    I got to see my son  3 or 4 weeks ago just shortley after he escaped from Haiti in mid March.  

Anyway, I plan on giving a hard copy to them for Grace.   They had better follow the application of I too will have some friends in pin striped suits, Fedora hats and carrying violin cases make some visits.

As a side note:  I saw the parent of one of my students a couple of evenings ago and found out his doughter is getting married.  I told him to tell his doughter that she needs to bring the fella around for my final approval.   He said thank you and he would do just that.  I have done this many times for my parents.

[Ianab]

Things I learnt in the good ole days....

If you are asking a young lady out.. dont be afraid to roll up in the afternoon and meet the parents. make sure your car doesn't drip oil on their driveway. shake  hands and look em in the eye. You have a job or you are studying to get one.
Offer to help fix the oil leak in their car that left those messy stains on the driveway. Do they need some firewood cut or logs milled?

On a serious note.. get to know your kids friends, make them welcome at your place, house rules apply.. if they are in the basement listening to antisocial music and drinking beer.. thats the LEAST of your worries

Well that was my folks rules and I survived em  

[Norm]

That's good advice lanab. When the boys got to an age where we worried about such things I had the basement finished and added a pool table, pinball, foosball, and big screen TV. The expense was well worth it. Instead of us wondering where they were we allowed them and their friends to us the rec room without us being there chaperoning. Only one time did I have to go down there and end a party (food fight) and most of their friends were good kids who I enjoyed talking with also.

[Texas Ranger]

My daughters, 25 and 28, still laugh at the comments their would be boy friends made when the first came to the house and met ol dad, cleaning a gun (I have a few, and the time in the evening is usually spent cleaning one).  Both are still single, and when they bring a new boy around, the girls want to go shooting.

I am not real sure if they are proud of their own ability to handle firearms, or if they are showing their boy friends to be that old dad is a straight shooter, proficient in the use of fire arms, and not to be trifled with. (I hope, I hope, I hope)

[J_T]

 With a name like Friar Don If I were a young lad I would already be pleanty worried

[etat]

My daughters first date was at our house.  We were going to cook a pig in the ground.  I already had it dressed.  Her date arrived just in time to help me redig the hole and start the fire.  He wasn't too impressive with a shovel.  Then, after we got the fire down to coals and the pig burried and covered with dirt I decided I had a few fences that needed mended.  Daughter and boyfriend helped.  Boyfriend didn't hold out too good.  Really dissapointing to me.  Apparantly he was to my daughter cause she never let him come back!!!

I know things may change but now she's 18 and seems to be putting her school work and getting ready for colledge before boys.  Says she'll have time for boys later after she gets her education!  

As I said, things may change.  I hope not. That oldest boy of mine I was so proud of, he never caused me one minutes problem or worry until recently.  Things are going from bad to worse and it's all beyond my control.  

At 14 I wouldn't even have considered letting my daughter date.  Unless, and except, the boy came over to our house to visit under somewhat supervised conditions.  Just a little bit more lenient at 15, and no actual get in the car and go to the movies type date until 16. I MIGHT ocasionally consider partial exceptions for supervised school events.

[EZ]

Hey Norm, whats the matter with food fights. When the girls were pretty little, we use to have them when we had peas that night for vegetables. The wife didnt care for it to much but I think I would see a smile from her face once in a while. One morning my youngest and I had a food fight with rolled oats, boy what a mess, took the rest of the morning to clean it up.
EZ

[J_T]

Ck give her a pat on the back for me . My son decided what he wanted to do at about 11 years old and stuck to it . He wouldn't even date untill the last years of colledge. I got worried and ask him why he said it could become a trap and he would miss what he wanted to do also he wouldn;t date a girl that quit school. His wife will soon graduate with a degree in buisness. Says he is going to retire at 45.

[Stan]

It wasn't very traumatic in the town I grew up in. The first meeting went like this, "Who's your Dad", "Fred", "And Ross is?", "My Uncle", "Ok, Donna's Mother went to school with him". That covered all those points in the application and did it in a civilized manner.  

[LSUNo1]

Well I have 4.5 year old daughter but I am not going to have this problem.

Unless they start letting boys into the convent to date the nuns in the next decade.

[Swede]

I really hope some of you are joking. Have seen so many parents lose a good dialog to their children and turn it over to a monologue by forbidding them. Easy done when they want to try their wings as teenagers.

I´ve no daughter but a son and don´t think the differece is that big. When my son get an intrest for trying alcohol I didn´t tell him not to but HOW to. Told him to call me when ever he needed,  drink as much he wanted and have a bad hang over, that I´ll go up at nigt for taking him home,. IF IT NOT WAS AT THE POLICE STATION. (there always have to be any rule left!) Geting THERE he had done wrong and need to have a seat for thinking and not to freeze to death. One nigt he called me:
-Dad would you please pic me up at town?
-OK, where are you?
- A-a- at the police station......
Guess if I woke up!   -You know what I´ve said about that! Have a good time there and get some sleep.
- But dad, I´m just here for using their telephone!
So I went to town that night.  

Me and his mother didn´t live together at that time. With out talking about it we used the same way to help him, we foud out that after a year or two. Told him what to drink and what not to. "Take the bottle home, don´t drink all because no bottles is just right big". Gave him a bottle if he needed one. Laughed when his eye bow and knee was bleeding.............
This is a little unusal in Sweden too but it worked. For most people it don´t.

I´ve heard some mothers worryig about their daughters. Use to say: Don´t worry, get her to the doctor! She wouldn´t ask You for making her sex debute, if she want to she´ll just do it and it don´t have to be dark.........."Or who the %%#&"!!  did You ask?"
All these daugters have all get a good talk and their prtections fast as possible. No more worrying. There is no use to worry because they don´t ask twice, but you´ve lost the dialog and there is usaly no way to get it back.
Perhaps you don´t worry because you don´t know whats going on. Beside that you have no chance to help them.  There is one natural handicap we have as parents: Being the last one to know whats going on. That you can fight.

I think the most important is to never lose the dialog to our kids just for we want to feel good, Not in any age! So my advise is not to forbidden your daughters dating boys but how  to handle them.

Have anyone forbidden his son to meet girls?  

Swede.

[Tillaway]

It's going from bad to worse... seems my daughter is in classes with the older kids at school.  She has been invited to go clubbing in the city.  Hmmmm.......NO!!!!  We have to get her out of there real quick.  What's next?  I am afraid to know.

[Stan]

After clubbin' comes drinkin' dopin' and that other thing the word for it I won't use here. Hang on Till sounds like you are in for a ride.  

[oldsaw]

although I miss the chance of raising a girl "right".  At 10 and 6, I've got a bit of time before all this starts up.  The 10 year old I've got no worries about at all.  He will keep it on the "straight and narrow".  My 6 year old will be another story.  I will be doing my part of protecting other guys daughters.

Saw a cool sign by the highway: HOW MUCH IS YOUR ALLOWANCE?  A baby costs $435 per month.

Looking back to when I was that age, I was the boy parents WANTED to take their daughters out.  That didn't do much for my opportunities.  I had a few ask me if I would, ask their daughters out.  The mother of my first steady girlfriend (I was a jr. in high school, she was my second date ever) wanted me back 5 years later.  She was a bartender at that point in time and I had stopped in the local muni for a beer.  I hadn't seen her for those 5 years, and we talked for 2 hours.  She even gave me her daughters phone number.

My first date, however, was suspect...on my parents side.  I'm just finishing up 9th grade, and I went to the prom with a senior girl from a town 40 miles away.  This all sounds a bit over the top, but the girl was a pastor's daughter that I met at bible camp.  The pastor had heard of my family and thought it was okay...although he may have thought I was a year or so older in retrospect.  You know, I may even call him today since it's rainy and there will be no outside stuff going on.

Like I said, I'm DanG glad I have boys.  When I want a girl, my niece is 2 1/2, I can borrow her any time I want.  And "KK" my neighbor girl is about 4.  I can borrow her too.  So it's not like I can't influence them a little bit.  All is not lost, and the worries are not mine.

[Swede]

"I'm DanG glad I've got 2 boys..."

I know most people think that way but not why. Isn´t boys they who takes more risks and get involved in traffic accidents,  criminals, wearing weapons, using cainsaws, climbing trees, drinking and other drugs, get killed.......................

Can anyone explane to me why to worry more about a daughter than a son?

Swede.

[oldsaw]

Sure boys are more aggressive and tend towards certain risks, but:

1) Boys have raging hormones as teens, not raging hormonal swings.

2) Boys aren't visited by the "monthly miracle", which adds to #1

3) We men know what we used to think about when we saw girls when we were teens. The "over-protection mechanism" kicks in, as we have seen here.

4) Boys are far less concerned with popularity and fashion.

5) Boys don't sneak out and get their navels pierced.

6) Boys can't get pregnant.  Not that it lessens the responsibility in my eyes, but, I'm not too sure I could be held responsible for my actions in such a case if it were my daughter.  

[Furby]

My oldest, younger sister will be 12 in a about a week and a half.
When she was born my parents often joked about not having to worry any about her dating.
I guess the plan is, rather then have my parents meet the fellow and give him the rules, she has to take him to meet her older brothers, all 6 of us! Then if by some miracle one young man may still be around, well then he gets to meet her younger siblings.  

[Stan]

They oughta fix up that $435/month sign to include the 18 year minimum, and college if they so choose.  

[Swede]

oldsaw; You are most rigt in points 1-6, but still I think the result of boys acts will be more serious.

3:  Yes! And do you know what a girl think about seeing a boy?    Most men have no idea of how early many girls get intrested of sex. Beleve me, much earlier than boys. Think we need  womens (with good memory) opinion here, you woun´t beleve me. But in the first place,  it´s difficoult for a man to understand, they think in a wery different way. That´s why we never learn to understand them.......
4:  Isn´t it for being popular and admired most boys goes into these risks, driving cars to fast and drink to much, take a gun to school.............?
5: If piersing is a reason to deep worry..... Sometimes I can see mothers dress their 10 y.o. daughters as small women and that worry me more. Think they did better talking about boys in that age. Not pusch them in to womans behavior.
And men tell their sons that men don´t cry, play their games better, be a big boy in all manners.
6: No, boys don´t get pregnant but a girl need a boy to get pregnant. If boys get a better information about how to be with a girl, and less how to be a "man", I think less girls should be raped, abused .....and pregnant.  

Perhaps I am deeper into this qestion now than you want to but our children is important.  
We oldies have to remember how we felt as children to be less worried and better help our kids growing up.  Not only act from our adault position. Because of social change, medium,  knowledge, clubs.......... I think to bring up children can NOT be the same as 30, 40 or 50 years ago.

But I don´t want to see children at town in the night! Think we had a law or rule in Sweden long time ago, sayig that bein less than 15 y.o. you may not be at town after 21:00 without a parent. Why did they take that law away?
There is places in my town where I don´t want to go in a saturday night!

I´ve had my own rule:  Never allowed my self be worry about my son in 10 seconds. A good talk is better. I more often felt my self superfluous.  

Swede.

[Patty]

Well Swede, although my memory isn't too good, I've got the opinion part down really good!  

Girls are a strange folk. I had some friends that were girls in high school, and I thought they filled their days with boring stuff like cheerleading and pom poms. I hung out with the guys because they did fun stuff, like fast cars, and motorcycles. Yes girls talk about boys alot when they are young, like 12-14 years old. (maybe younger now) I didn't have a boyfriend so I found all this talking very frustrating at that age, and a real waste of time.

I wasn't a total tomboy, I loved to dress up and be pretty. It was more of a teasing thing...and not very nice now that I think about it.

You see it is very complicated, we girls wanted the boys attention, but when we got the attention, it wasn't so fun anymore. No wonder you guys were always confused.

I don't think any of you are foolish to protect your daughters, they need protection....but more from themselves and the situations they get themselves into...not the boys that get them into those situations. All girls can say NO, and most boys will back off. It is teaching the girl to say the NO is the big thing, I think.

Norm & I raised 2 sons. Our speeches to them were like, "Dad & I don't believe in abortion. We forbid any of our grandchildren be killed because you were stupid. So if you get a girl pregnant, you will be responsible for raising that child. You will quit school, get a job, and be a father. We will not allow any excuses."  It seemed to do the trick. I think the same speech to any girl would have the same effect.

So there you go Swede, I hope I've cleared this all up for you!  

[Swede]

Thank U Patty! You get some of the points and I don´t think this is a place for a complete dissertation.

But why do You write this in historic shape?
"You see it is very complicated, we girls wanted the boys attention, but when we got the attention, it wasn't so fun anymore. No wonder you guys were always confused."

Before 40-50 y.o. you are difficult to understand, saying things in terms men can´t understand. But if a man don´t talk clear he get a beating from you!

Looking at and talking about boys is no danger. It´s what happens in secret, and children DO have secrets and have some right to them. That´s why I think information and a good dialog is more useful than ban and questionings. The rules must follow  the childs  individual development or they´ll be impossible to meet.

Very important words, Patty: "....but more from themselves and the situations they get themselves into..." They don´t have to be forsed into trouble, they´ll go themselfes!


Swede.

[Stan]

I know a lot of girls/women are drawn to "bad boys", seems they like the danger and are positive they can reform him when necessary. It takes these ladies more than one bad situation for a cure, if they ever get cured.  :-/

[Swede]

Stan; that´s right, one mystery about women we´ll never understand.

Here comes another one:
They always want to reform you. When she has brought the reforming to a conclusion  she´ll say: You´re not the guy I once met, so  Good Bye!
And you can´t say she is wrong!  

Swede.

[oldsaw-addict]

I don't think any of you are foolish to protect your daughters, they need protection....but more from themselves and the situations they get themselves into...not the boys that get them into those situations. All girls can say NO, and most boys will back off. It is teaching the girl to say the NO is the big thing, I think.

Norm & I raised 2 sons. Our speeches to them were like, "Dad & I don't believe in abortion. We forbid any of our grandchildren be killed because you were stupid. So if you get a girl pregnant, you will be responsible for raising that child. You will quit school, get a job, and be a father. We will not allow any excuses."  It seemed to do the trick. I think the same speech to any girl would have the same effect.

I dont know of many boys OR girls these days that want to drop out because they were dumb and/or drunk and got pregnant, I SURE didnt want to be forced to be a father when I was in school, so my solution was to just stay out of any kind of relationship with anyone boy or girl.I kept myself kid free, burden free, and guilt free all through school so I guees I did alright.

the best way to avoid the boys that only have that one dirty thing on their mind is to teach your girls to say NO!! when the need arises, and if we love them, we'll teach our kids how to fight back and protect themselves so we dont have to.

Patty, I can only say that you have put it very well on how to keep other boys from getting your own girl(s) pregnant, or vice versa, just the thought of having to drop out and get a job at something like age 13-16 is NOT very appealing, even I dont think I wanted to leave school for that reason, plus at that age one would have a !#@#@ of a time finding someone that would employ them and even pay them minimum wage much less enough to raise a child on. the solution, dont be dumb and get your girlfriend pregnant and you're in the clear, or even better yet, just abstain from that activity until at least 21 or so then you have at least a HS diploma and some chance of getting a decent job to raise a family on your salary.

This is just my opinion, please dont be offended by it.

[Randall]

I would never let my daughter date at 14. Maybe 16. I don't care what she said or thought.

[Patty]

Back to full circle on this thread....I've got to wonder how Tillman and his daughter worked things out.

[Tillaway]

Crisis averted, she decided not to go out and she didn't really want to go clubbing.  Next time though.

[Bro. Noble]

Sounds like some good parenting has taken place

That's the very best that can happen-------when the youngster makes the right decision  and the parents can just set back and beam

[Frickman]

I hate to sound dumb, but what's this "clubbing" you all are talking about? About the only clubbing I know is when you're running the fox out of the henhouse.

[firtol88]

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE DAUGHTER

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, copy of signed Teenager Driving Contract, and current medical report from your doctor.

NAME: _______________________________________
DATE OF BIRTH: ________________________
HEIGHT: ________   WEIGHT: _________  
HAIR COLOR:  __________  EYE COLOR: _________
BIRTHMARKS: _________________________________
IQ: _________  GPA:  ______________  
SOCIAL SECURITY #:  _________________________
DRIVER'S LICENSE #: _________________________
BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES: __________________
_____________________________________________
_____________________________________________
SCHOOLS ATTENDED: ___________________________
_____________________________________________
_____________________________________________
EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES: _________________
_____________________________________________
_____________________________________________
HOME ADDRESS: _______________________________
_____________________________________________
CITY/STATE: _________________________________
___________________________  ZIP: __________
TELEPHONE: _________________________________  
EMAIL: _____________________________________


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Do you own a van? ____ A truck with oversized tires? ____

A waterbed? ____ A pickup with a mattress in the back? ____

A pager? _____

Do you have an ear ring, a nose ring, or a belly button ring? ____

A tattoo? ____
(IF YES TO ANY OF the ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES.)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In 50 words or less, what does LATE mean to you? __________

________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER mean to you?

________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you?

________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Church you attend: ________________________________________

How often you attend: _____________________________________

When would be the best time to interview your father, mother, and pastor? ______________


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Answer by filing in the blank. Please answer freely. All answers are confidential (that means I won't tell anyone EVER).

A. If I were shot, the last place I would want to be shot would be _____________________

B. If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my _________________________

C. The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is ______________________

D. When I meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her is ____________________________

(IF ANSWER to D. BEGINS WITH "T" OR "A", DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY.)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What do you want to do IF you grow up? ___________________

______________________________________________________

______________________________________________________

______________________________________________________



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ON THIS APPLICATION IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, ELECTROCUTION AND RED HOT POKERS.


______________________________________
SIGNATURE  (that means your name)




Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write. If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties and carrying violin cases.

\o/    We do have permission to use this right.  
 

[Stan]

I hate to sound dumb, but what's this "clubbing" you all are talking about?

I expect you'd have to go to the big city to see clubbing. It is extensively practiced in places like Miami and Greater Los Angeles. Until you've been to one, you ain't seen dirty dancing.  

[Swede]

Yes, the very best happened, Tillaway didn´t have to say "NO" and so not his daughter  

Stan; Dirty dancing.......If it´s what i guess I´ve not seen that on clubs IRL, just in American films on Swedish TV.    Most people here have TV-channels with films much more nasty than just "dirty" dancing. I´m the one in this village with just 3 public TV-channels.

"APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE DAUGHTER "
If this list had been required 52 years ago perhaps I could not be here today. If such a list is needed there is anything going wrong earlier.   I think using it is unappetizing condemnations. If  he´s  NOT going to church every year don´t mean he without christian or other religous values. Going to church every sunday doesn´t make anyone better if he is nasty to people (including your daughter) and every living creature the other 6 days. I´ve seen too many of these people and can´t stand them.
Piersings and tattoos do not make him to a human even if I don´t like it.



Swede.

[Patty]

Tillaway,

All this retorick and words of wisdom, and here your daughter knew best all along!  
Good for her, and for you! Sounds like you're both doing a fine job.

[Jeff]

Swede, the application is just a joke. Its not realistic at all. Heck, it don't even ask about burial or cremation preferences.

[Tillaway]

Burial preferences.....  I will print out the application for next time.  And I think it might be a good time to clean the guns too.  

[firtol88]

Invite him over on a gun cleaning weekend... a couple times a year I spend the weekend cleaning guns, the wife normally takes the kids and flees...  

[Swede]

Tank You Jeff for telling me, then I´m happy again.   I´m just a Swede and don´t know how you´re doing. Care about everything living but most of all children.

One more of the points perhaps I don´t have to be afraid to have a comment on:
A big wheeled truck is good for pulling a saw mill and maybe  a condition for being a son-in-law?  
 THEN I misunderstood that question.  

Swede.

[Stan]

52 years ago, the question "Who's your Father?" Answered of all the points on the questionaire.

[Bro. Noble]

Stan.

That reminds me of an ancient old song "What a Blue Eyed Baby You Are"  Where the young fellow is singing to the young lady.

He asks "Who is your Ma?"       Where is your Pa?"    

[old3dogg]

I make my daughter bring her "male friends" here to meet me first.[She is 15].
Her first 2 male friends got along with me fine.
She dumped them both?
I asked why?
She said that they were as crazy as me!
Then she said that she dont want a boyfriend as crazy as her dad.
Why? I ask.
She says because your one of a kind and the best dad ever!
I love my daughter.She is the best ever!
[A little like her old man.A little crazy!]
My 2 kids are the best.I be a parent when I have to but the rest of the time I am their best friend.
They dont smoke,drink or do drugs.They work hard and do well in school.If they want to go to a concert I get to take them because they think it is "cool" to hang out with dad.
Their music sucks big time but it is a very small price to pay to make sure my kids aint doing nothing to mess up their whole life.
Im lucky.Or am I just treating my kids like people?
Lets face it.At 15 and 16 they are just that.people.
On a side note.My son is going to teck school to be a chef.His girlfriend is going to teck school to be a welder.Ya gotta love kids these days.

[Swede]

old3dogg; ".............treating my kids like people........"

I think You´ve found the key!   And if they (in that age) want to go out public with You..........! Are they both a little crazy?  
I always did just that, treated my son like people from the very begining. It worked for us too.

For some time I´ve not found out what my son realy did at work. I didn´t ask because I know he´ll tell me if he want to and his work is classified as secret. Some weeks ago he made me a call. " Today there is a lot of new trucks all around the town. We show them for the retailers, press and other media today. Now I can tell you, that´s what I´ve been working for the last two years!"    Well, I did know he was flying to the other European plants a lot..........


However,  he didn´t ask me go on any concert. Perhaps I´m more lucky than You?  

Swede.

[old3dogg]

Swede.
Yea I know.Slipknot and Ozz Fest!!!!!!!
I did get even.
I made both kids go to one of my concerts.
Even though they wont admit it I think they had a good time.

[Stan]

I did get even.

Huh uh, bein' a grandparent is when you git even.  

[Frickman]

Stan,
Thanks for the explanation of "clubbing". I've never been to Miami or Los Angeles, so I guess I've missed out on something. If it's what you folks say it is they can keep in the city.

[Stan]

I know there is clubbing in Monroville at the Marriott.