Daughter.... First Date.

[Tillaway]

My 14 year old daughter has been asked out on her first date.  I have been dreading this day.

[Patty]

Time to break out the baseball bats!

[Tom]

You are going along, aren't you?

[Norm]

I don't see any problem with that Tillaway, as long as the date consists of sitting on the couch with you in the middle watching TV.

[DanG]

Hooo-boy!  You're in for some nervous evenings. But, now is the time you have to rely on what you instilled in her for the past 14 years.  I just imagine you did a pretty good job.  Just remember, they gotta have a chance to try out their young wings for a while, before they leave the nest for good.  Good luck!

[Ga_Boy]

I will be sitting at the kitchen table field stripping and cleaning my .45 when every "DATE" picks up my daughter.

That's just the way I see it.  

[J_T]

 Our girl at 14 noway out of site noway. Then all the above espeshly Ga Boys. One boy was here once an ask if he needed to move his car I said yes he said where I said try your house  

[etat]

It is absolutely imperative that at your first meeting with this HOODLEM you make the proper impression.

[Brian]

The second date and any dates after that are the ones I would worry about. Thats when you break out the "olde scatter gun" and give it a good cleaning.

[Jeff]

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE DAUGHTER

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, copy of signed Teenager Driving Contract, and current medical report from your doctor.

NAME: _______________________________________
DATE OF BIRTH: ________________________
HEIGHT: ________   WEIGHT: _________  
HAIR COLOR:  __________  EYE COLOR: _________
BIRTHMARKS: _________________________________
IQ: _________  GPA:  ______________  
SOCIAL SECURITY #:  _________________________
DRIVER'S LICENSE #: _________________________
BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES: __________________
_____________________________________________
_____________________________________________
SCHOOLS ATTENDED: ___________________________
_____________________________________________
_____________________________________________
EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES: _________________
_____________________________________________
_____________________________________________
HOME ADDRESS: _______________________________
_____________________________________________
CITY/STATE: _________________________________
___________________________  ZIP: __________
TELEPHONE: _________________________________  
EMAIL: _____________________________________


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Do you own a van? ____ A truck with oversized tires? ____

A waterbed? ____ A pickup with a mattress in the back? ____

A pager? _____

Do you have an ear ring, a nose ring, or a belly button ring? ____

A tattoo? ____
(IF YES TO ANY OF the ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES.)


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In 50 words or less, what does LATE mean to you? __________

________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER mean to you?

________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you?

________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________


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Church you attend: ________________________________________

How often you attend: _____________________________________

When would be the best time to interview your father, mother, and pastor? ______________


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Answer by filing in the blank. Please answer freely. All answers are confidential (that means I won't tell anyone EVER).

A. If I were shot, the last place I would want to be shot would be _____________________

B. If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my _________________________

C. The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is ______________________

D. When I meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her is ____________________________

(IF ANSWER to D. BEGINS WITH "T" OR "A", DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY.)


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What do you want to do IF you grow up? ___________________

______________________________________________________

______________________________________________________

______________________________________________________



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I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ON THIS APPLICATION IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, ELECTROCUTION AND RED HOT POKERS.


______________________________________
SIGNATURE  (that means your name)




Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write. If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties and carrying violin cases.

[Ga_Boy]

 

Good one Jeff .

[AtLast]

Well...I like all your answers....but I have to tell you MY approach....EVERYTIME ...ANY....boy came to my house...I simply shook his hand...pulled him to me and put my arm around his neck....tightly...and CLEARLY said...." If you do ANYTHING to hurt my daughter in ANY way...I'll FREAKIN KILL YA!!!"...and thats the truth....my youngest will be 15 in October...My rule is NO DATES TILL YOU ARE 16!!!!!....

[EZ]

I'm glad its over and done. My youngest was daddys little girl, if she was on the bad side of mom, she would come to me and ask if she could or can I do or can I go and of coarse I would say yes. When she was about 14 all he77 broke loose, she would not listen to me or my wife. When we let her boy friend come over for the first time, there he stood, rings every where and I mean everywhere. We didnt let them date but that didnt mater cause she got prenant at 15. They ran away and got marryed and now they are the best thing that could have happen. They gave us a beauitful grand-daughter.
EZ

[Tillaway]

I like that application idea... but unfortunately she is 300+ miles away right now.  She and her mother are staying at grandmas until we can get into a house over here.  My daughter just transferred into the school there to finish out the year.  She has only been going to that school for a week.  I asked here if she knew anything about the guy that asked her out like... how old is he?  She didn't know.... anyway I think mom might put a stop to it.

Darn and the scatter gun is with me... my wife could sure use it about now.

[oldsaw-addict]

If I had a daughter, the rule is NO freakshow boyfriends, and they will either agree to a set of rules set by both me and her mother if I were married, should the rules be broken at all, he will be looking for another girlfriend, and they had better be no more than a year or two younger or older than each other. My rules are, ABSOLUTELY NO SEXUAL ACTIVITY or I WILL report it to the police as statuory rape which it is for any child under the age of 16 in florida, they will NOT go anywhere that does not have an adult around, she will be home by 9PM and NO LATER THAN THAT, if he does anything to make her cry I will make him cry, the most clothing I will allow to be removed is a coat or jacket, shirts undershirts pants shorts skirts undergarments etc all stay in place. If a boyfriend cannot abide by and accpet these terms then he is GONE, tatoos are ok as long as they are something like I love jesus, or something like that, only 2 piercings and no more than 2 and they will be in the ears not the eyebrows tongue lips arms or any personal parts.

[Corley5]

I hope my son Zach doesn't get shot when he starts dating but then if he was a she or if I have a daughter in the future I'll be having a gun cleaning party when the boy in question comes to pick her up.

[Engineer]

Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter

Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."

Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.


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My daughter is seven.  I have a few years to prepare for this.  

[beenthere]

Ahh, I am past that stage of making decisions -- now concerned about the grand daughters decisions (and their parents).  

14 is too young, IMO.  I know people say they are so much smarter these days than when I was their age. I say phooey. I knew everything at 14, but was certainly not mature. I knew everything. But my parents said "no" to dating (and I didn't like it, but later learned that they were right). I don't think the younger generation is any more mature, and maybe less. Only guidelines in some instances are the flaky TV sitcom shows. That is scarry.

As kids this age and until 24 or so, they have to make the 'biggest' decisions of their lives, that can have the biggest and most devastating affect on their lives, with essentially no experience or skills to make those big decisions. I've often thought that as an adult, none of my decisions now could be as costly or compare to those I could make wrong when I was a teenager (not counting driving the car into a brick wall or getting drunk and driving, or the like).

At 14, they need all the help they can get. I can't count the many times our girls would get a phone call from a boy asking them on a date. They would turn to us and ask if they could go, and we would say no. They would whimper a bit, and sound so sad on the phone when they told the boy "my parents said no, sorry". Then after the call they showed their relief that they didn't have to make that decision, we made it for them. Both girls dated little in HS, but met super son-in-laws in college and after college. Lots of opinions and experiences, and I sure don't believe their is a single formula on what the right way is to handle a situation. But parents can give their children something to put their back up against, with good help making their tough decisions.
I like Jeff's application too.  

[Stan]

I agree that 16 is the minimum age for dating. Additionally I made it known that Cinderella time limits meant in the house by midnight, not the driveway. I enforced this one time with a snowball, and the embarassment prevented a repeat. It also spread the word.  

[pasbuild]

Questions to my daughters dates after a firm hand shake.....
#1
Do you have a job?  answer was always no
#2
Are you rich?           answer was always no
#3
Is your dad rich?      answer was always no

I would then explain to him that in no way shape or form was I going to raise and pay for another family and since he didn't have a job and he wasn't independently wealthy and that his dad probably shared my position that he had d**m well better keep his pants on.
Most of them wouldn't be seen a second time and my daughter hated me for doing it but I think I weeded out the guys that had one thing on there minds.