Anybody got an extra Ark?

[Frickman]

Not just snow but cold! I brought some already cut logs down off the mountain with the forwarder this morning. About froze my knees off the wind is so cold. I'm taking a break here inside before I go back at it. I'm sure it's April, it just don't feel like it.

[ARKANSAWYER]

  If you could spare a little rain we could use it.  It is so dry that the morels are not coming up at all.  We have only gotten one little mess about 2 days after the last rain 2 weeks ago.  Maybe rain Wednesday.
ARKANSAWYER

[Patty]

Arkansawyer,

The reason the midwest hasn't gotten any rain to speak of in the past few years is because we dug a pond. Sorry.
I'm thinking the rain will start as soon as we dig a well to pump water into the pond, maybe this summer.
Well diggers around here get $25 per foot , so we have been putting off having one dug just for the pond. At those prices, the midwest may be in for a long drought!

[Furby]

How deep do you need to go?

[Patty]

They tell me about 300-350 feet. For some unknown reason all the wells within a couple miles of us have to be that deep. My guess is they figure they will drill about as deep as they think your pocketbook will allow, but I'm of a suspicious nature.     It just seems funny to me that the existing well on our farm is about 150 feet deep, and we've never had any problems with it going dry, but the new well has to be 300 feet deep! I just don't get it.

[SwampDonkey]

We are getting our first April rains this week, its been fairly dry to date. I looked out across the Presque Isle River the other day and the Islands didn't even get flooded when the ice went out 2 weeks ago. All the brooks have been open most of the winter and not high at all. I can remember lots of spring time rains where water would be sheeting across fields and overflowing streams flooding low ground or plugging cross drains. Going to be dry this summer, I thinks, with lots of forest fires. Hope not though.

[Jim_Rogers]

Yea, it's been raining here again. Luckily I've still got the buckets in the right places.
I know, I know, I should have fixed the roof when it stopped raining last time, but like the old timer said "but now it ain't leakin"

[SwampDonkey]

Its not steady rain here, off and on. It was almost 60 up here, now back to 41 F.

As far as fixin the leaks, well maybe when the weather is fine there's lots of other things to do that pay more.

[Frickman]

Day before yesterday the weatherman predicted around two inches for us for yesterday. He was right, around two inches. We've had so much rain here lately that I swear I saw a duck wearing a life jacket today.

[etat]

It is the year 2004 and Noah lives in the United States...

The Lord speaks to Noah and says: "In one year I am going to make it rain and cover the whole earth with water until all is destroyed, but I want you to save the righteous people and two of every kind of living thing on the earth. Therefore, I am commanding you to build an Ark." In a flash of lightning, God delivered the specifications for an Ark.

Fearful and trembling, Noah took the plans and agreed to build the Ark. "Remember," said the Lord, "You must complete the Ark and bring everything aboard in one year." Exactly one year later, a fierce storm cloud covered the earth and all the seas of the earth went into a tumult. The Lord saw Noah sitting in his front yard weeping. "Noah." He shouted, "Where is the Ark?"

"Lord please forgive me!" cried Noah. "I did my best, but there were big problems. First, I had to get a permit for construction and your plans did not comply with the codes. I had to hire an engineering firm and redraw the plans. Then I got into a fight with OSHA over whether or not the Ark needed a fire sprinkler system and floatation devices. Then my neighbor objected, claiming I was violating zoning ordinances by building the Ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from the city planning commission. I had problems getting enough wood for the Ark, because there was a ban on cutting trees to protect the Spotted Owl. I finally convinced the U.S.Forest Service that I needed the wood to save the owls. However, the Fish and Wildlife Service won't let me catch any owls. So, no owls.

The carpenters formed a union and went out on strike. I had to negotiate a settlement with the National Labor Union. Now I have 16 carpenters on the Ark, but still no owls. When I started rounding up the other animals, I got sued by an animal rights group. They objected to me only taking two of each kind aboard. Just when I got the suit dismissed, the EPA notified me that I could not complete the Ark without filing an environmental impact statement on your proposed flood. They didn't take very kindly to the idea that they had no jurisdiction over the conduct of the Creator of the universe. Then the Army Corps of Engineer demanded a map of the proposed new flood plain. I sent them a globe.

Right now, I am trying to resolve a complaint filed with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission that I am practicing discrimination by not taking godless, unbelieving people aboard! The IRS has seized all my assets, claiming that I'm building the Ark in preparation to flee the country to avoid paying taxes. I just got a notice from the State that I owe some kind of user tax and failed to register the Ark as a recreational water craft.

Finally the ACLU got the courts to issue an injunction against further construction of the Ark, saying that since God is flooding the earth, it is a religious event and therefore unconstitutional." I really don't think I can finish the Ark for another 5 or 6 years!" Noah wailed.

The sky began to clear, the sun began to shine and the seas began to calm. A rainbow arched across the sky. Noah looked up hopefully. "You mean you are not going to destroy the earth, Lord?" "No," said the Lord sadly. "The government already has."

[SwampDonkey]

Right on , I love it  

Poster Award # 14  

[etat]

Nope, not an award.  I snitched it from somewhere else.

Just thought it seemed to fit in, and hit close to home in lots of cases.

[SwampDonkey]

:

It prolly rings true for most folks on the forum

[Frickman]

Thanks for reminding me of that one ck. One of my customers gave me a copy a few years ago. I was laughing so hard I couldn't leave their office for a good while. 'Bout busted a gut right then and there.