*You've never met any celebrities...and you don't really care.
*Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
*"Vacation" means driving through the Amanas or going to Adventureland.
*You've seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular.
*You measure distance in minutes.
*Down south to you means Missouri.
*You know several people who have hit a deer.
*You have no problem spelling or pronouncing Des Moines.
*You know the answer to the question, "Is this Heaven?"
*Your school classes were cancelled because of cold.
*Your school classes were cancelled because of heat.
*You know what "Hawks, Panthers, and Clones" are.
*You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way.
*You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
*You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."
*You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July & stores don't have bags, they have sacks.
*You see people wearing bib overalls at funerals.
*You see a car running in the parking lot at the Quick Stop with no one in it no matter what time of the year.
*You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. (Example: "Where's my coat at?")
*All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable or animal.
*You can locate Iowa on the U.S. map.
*Detassling was your first job or that of a brother or sister.
*You've been on a "Geode Hunt."
*Your idea of a really great tenderloin is when the meat is twice as big as the bun and accompanied only by ketchup and a dill pickle slice.
*You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
*When asked how your trip was to any foreign, exotic place, you say "It was different."
*Being a bit younger, you remember Terry Branstad as the governor the whole time you were growing up.
*You consider being called a "Pork Queen" an honor.
*People from other states love to hear you say Iowa and other words
with "O s" in them.
*You carry jumper cables in your car.
*You drink "pop."
*You know what the numbers 80, 35, 280 and 380 mean.
*You know what "cow chips" are.
*You actually understand these statements and pass them on to all your Iowa friends.
