Here is something sent to my e-mail that I thought was amusing. The
comments are not mine. I assume this labeling is a result of too many
lawyers.
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In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
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On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (dang, and that's the
only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that
would be how??)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but,
it's "just" a suggestion.)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside
down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
(and you thought??)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but
wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate
machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce
the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year
olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking
this because??)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now,
somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Salisbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news
flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat
nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh. fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable
you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or
genitals." (Oh my God. Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
