Author Topic: Solved Sweet Gum (Read 5909 times)

Tom · « **Reply #40 on:** November 05, 2003, 11:37:02 am »

If Coleoptera came from SE Texas then that may the problem with our understanding of what the real story is. You see.. Ole Julias and Marc Anthony came from Georgia, up around Rome somewhere I hear. There must have been a tremendous strain on communications between them and Coleoptera what with the big language difference and all that. Just gettin' through Alabama and Mississippi would have been a really confusing chore and Loueezianna would have pretty much discombobulated the entire communication effort.

It might not have been Sweet Gum that cause so many problems after all. Liquid Amber is another description for the chewing resin or hard-drink and that stuff they make in SE Texas is kinda yellowish whereas that stuff from Georgia is crystal clear. I can see how there might have been some confusion.

It's a good thing God has a sense of humor.

Paul_H · « **Reply #41 on:** November 05, 2003, 11:54:21 am »

Now I'm really confused.Who is Amber,or was that a pet name for Coleoptera?

And as far as texas,we were told to render unto Ceasar, that which is Caesars.Obviously Amber didn't,cause she wouldn't be liquid.

Aint Rome somewhere in Alaska,which is SW of Texas?

Tom · « **Reply #42 on:** November 05, 2003, 12:06:49 pm »

I beginning to become confused some too. I didn't know we were talking about a hog killing. Who was God telling to render Julius' stuff? Was it Coleoptera that was making the soap? I thought she was higher up the totem than that and had some of her own to do the rendering. Maybe that's where Marc came into the picture.

Yeah, this is getting a little confusing. I always did have trouble with classroom work.

What's the Lord doing in Texas anyway?

Paul_H · « **Reply #43 on:** November 05, 2003, 12:27:04 pm »

I'm starting to think that Charlie is behind all this.He came in and shouted,

Coleoptera

and then he left,throwing your whole thread into disarray and datarray.

I heard soap doesn't wash well with ol' Liquid Amber,but render a little hog fat and she'll come clean and remove unsightly Marcs.

DanG · « **Reply #44 on:** November 05, 2003, 02:16:43 pm »

That Marc was a unsightly one, for a fact! Last I heard, he was roamin' around SE Texas wearing little else but a miniskirt an' a tin dickie! I'm surprised Coleoptera had anything to do with him to start with. I guess it was to get back at Julius about the renderin' episode. Anyway, Marc took her on a boat ride and got them stranded, 'cause he didn't know the river run the wrong way, and she got her asp on her shoulder about it.
Things didn't go much better back at the hog killin' in Rome, Ga. They had just about polished off the bbq, and there was only 3 pork chops left. Brutus et two of'em and Julius got his toga all in a twist about that.
Come to think about it, they weren't real pleasant folks, anyway.

Paul_H · « **Reply #45 on:** November 05, 2003, 02:39:18 pm »

I heard about the fight at the BBQ.It was the last thing Julius said to Brutus,and I understand they haven't spoken since.I think that Brutus,to his credit,was more than willing to bury the hatchet.

Can it really be called a BBQ if it's Pork?

Bro. Noble · « **Reply #46 on:** November 05, 2003, 02:50:12 pm »

DanG, I think you are probably correct in suspecting that the Lord wasn't in Texas-------I'll not expecterate any further on that one..

I'd also rather not comment on seezer's little tin dickie.

That part about the boat ride is true (I'm pretty sure), took place on the rubbercorn river which is about in the middle of Texas maybe. I think it was Seezer that yelled "all-o-your jackets isst" which was code for "now we're up you know what creek without a paddle". I think he was lost and didn't want the Mexicans that were fishing along the bank to know that.

Paul_H · « **Reply #47 on:** November 05, 2003, 03:08:43 pm »

I had heard that Arkansas was God's country,and then I had read somewhere,"Texas,by God and by Joyce" .I Checked the map,and sure enough,Texas is right by Arkansas.

I'll do a little digging on this Joyce,she may be around Kansas or mebe Mexico.

Learning is fun!

Bro. Noble · « **Reply #48 on:** November 05, 2003, 06:13:57 pm »

Paul,

I think she was that 'professional' woman that used to hang out around the well.

It must have been her that Amos conjugated with and had all those kids. I learned about it in Latin class. Lets see there were Amo, Amas, Amat, Ammamas, Ammattas, and Andy.

They were all named after Amos. Well I'm not sure about Andy, That might have been Amos' middle name or maybe he was named after one of Amos' buddies.

Tom · « **Reply #49 on:** November 05, 2003, 06:14:05 pm »

Have you ever heard of West "by God" Virginia? I don't see where that place is anywhere near Arkansas or Texas so I don't know were they get the "by God" from. Maybe they mean "near" rather than "next-to".

Got me stumped on the Joyce thingy. Pretty bad choice, Joyce. hmmm-m-m

HOLY MACK'al Andy. The King Fish was just 'bout to learn ya the conjugatin of the Amos' and Andy-fi this whole mess o' Jehosaphat's 'n Coleopteras into a discernable quag-a-mire of intelligence. Now look what ya done went 'n did. I lost my train-o-thought 'n got derailed somewhere 'tween the hot sand 'n the backwards river. I say.... hmmm-m-m-

DanG · « **Reply #50 on:** November 05, 2003, 07:21:53 pm »

You're right, Tom. This is not the train of thought, here.

But, what is it the train of?

Tom · « **Reply #51 on:** November 05, 2003, 07:37:02 pm »

It's a train of guitar pickers, harmonica players, foot stompers, signifying humorists and it's Heaven Bound.

Bro. Noble · « **Reply #52 on:** November 05, 2003, 07:48:33 pm »

Wait a minute------hold the phone

I was thinkin that we must have discussed about everythang worth knowing but remembered that famous Texan and his compadres that invented the rodeo. Moses and the bull rushers.

DanG · « **Reply #53 on:** November 05, 2003, 08:27:42 pm »

Cain't forget about them! I herd them on the rodeo in my truck, just the other night.

Texas Ranger · « **Reply #54 on:** November 05, 2003, 09:09:27 pm »

Some one axed about what God had to do with Texas. I reckon y'all fergot this little story. Happened, oh, bout 10 yar ago.

Bran new Baptist preacher was fishing around for place to raise the name of God to the heathens, and he wanted to check out the competition.

We, scuz me, He was in Calofonica, where Coleopter was from, and went into the Church of What's Happening Now to look around. Saw a gold telephone on the wall with a sign sayin "Call God in Heaven, $35,000". He hailed the preacher down and axed him "What that was all about" Preacher said, "Son, that phone hooks straight to Heaven, and the other end sits on Gods cradenza". He said, "well aint that sumpin". and decided to move on since this place was to high falooten.

Next stop was in the TabandApple Church in Salt Lake City, where Lots wife was buried, and he went in that Ladder Day Saint Louis Cardenals church. There was that same Gold Telephone, with the same sign "Call God in Heaven, $35,000". He axed the head Saint about the sign, and got the same answer.

Next stop was in Minnehaha, or Wishagain, or one a them northern states, and went into the Martin Luther Church, where all them Nowegians prey. Same Gold Telephone and same sign "Call God in Heaven, $35,000". He axed the head Cod Fish about the sign and phone, and got the same answer.

Well, he was getting his fill of the Gold Phone so he went east to Nu Yark City, and stepped in one a them Temples of the Hebrews, which he knew was the down fall of all them old folks in the bible when they ruent the original Temple, and there was that same Gold Telepone and the same sign, "Call God in Heaven, $35,000". The head Rabbit told him the same story as all the rest.

Bout now he had a strong urge for some good bar-b-que (hard to find good bar-b-que north of the Maxim-Dixicup Line) and headed for Texas. Stopped in a little Methodist Church in east Texas (that's where I met him) and there was that same Gold Telepone, but the sign said "Call God in Heaven, 35 cents". Well, now, that got him het up over the eye gougin them other churches was doing. So he called over the Methodist Preacher and axed "Preacher, I been to every type of Church in the country, and every one a them had that gold phone, and every one a them was chargin $35,000.00 for that phone call to God. How come yours is only 35 cents?"

Preacher took a long, pittying look at the preacher wannabee, and said "Son, in Texas, it's a local call."

Texas Ranger · « **Reply #55 on:** November 05, 2003, 09:13:55 pm »

Paul H, every where is a little sw of Texas, it jist depends on where ya start from.

Paul_H · « **Reply #56 on:** November 05, 2003, 09:28:35 pm »

Quote

. Ole Juliasen

.

I wonder if Ole,that Tom mentioned was the preacher up in Minehaha?

Bro. Noble · « **Reply #57 on:** November 06, 2003, 06:55:52 am »

Paul,

I'm not too sure cause if that was the guy Tom was talkin about he would have probably called him Bro. Ole, or Bro Julisen. That Tom's real reprobatable when it comes that kinda stuff.

DanG,

Hope I didn't give you misinformation about the rodeo, seems like some Italian guy mighta done that. Macaroni was his name if I recall. The dude wore a feather in his cap and wrote that song about one if by land and too if you see.

Texas Ranger · « **Reply #58 on:** November 06, 2003, 07:05:35 am »

Noble, ol son, you seem to have forgot your feathers.

Bro. Noble · « **Reply #59 on:** November 06, 2003, 09:50:07 am »

Speaking of feathers, Don, sinch the 'Big Guy' evidentally don't look in on these more intillectual threads, I'm gonna stick my neck (maybe that's a poor choice of phrases) out and say I wish he had a feather up his (for the way he is deviling me) and then we would both be tickled

At least (thanks to DonP) we know why the eskimos aren't more poligimus in the Texas area. Can you believe the tall tales he tells

News:

Author Topic: Solved Sweet Gum (Read 5909 times)