how many of you hunt?

[Eggsander]

Tom, he musta been hunting with you down in Florida when you took that, cuz we ain't got big nasty lookin' squirrels like that up here!  

[Gordon]

I had this sent to me in an e-mail please all you duck hunters take note. Don't try this at home

Is this how you hunt?

Two Hunters From Michigan---True Story---This is from a radio program,
a true report of a happening in Michigan:

A guy buys a brand new Jeep Grand Cherokee for $30,000 and has $400
monthly payments. He and a friend go duck hunting and of course all
the lakes are frozen. These two guys go to the lake with the guns, the
dog, the beer and of course the new vehicle. They drive out onto the
lake ice and get ready.

Now, they want to make some kind of a natural landing area for the
ducks, something for the decoys to float on. In order to make a hole
large enough to look like something a wandering duck would fly down
and land on, it is going to take a little more effort than an ice
hole drill. So, out of the back of the new Grand Cherokee comes a
stick of dynamite with a short, 40-second fuse.

Now these two Rocket Scientists do take into consideration that they
want to place the stick of dynamite on the ice at a location far
from where they are standing (and the new Grand Cherokee), because
they don't want to take the risk of slipping on the ice when they
run from the burning fuse and possibly go up in smoke with the
resulting blast. They light the 40-second fuse and throw the
dynamite.

Remember a couple of paragraphs back when I mentioned the vehicle,
beer, the guns and the dog? Let's talk about the dog: A highly
trained Black Lab used for retrieving. Especially things thrown by
the owner. You guessed it, the dog takes off at a high rate of doggy
speed on the ice and captures the stick of dynamite with the burning
40-second fuse about the time it hits the ice. The two men yell,
scream, wave arms and wonder what to do now. The dog, cheered on,
keeps coming. One of the guys grabs the shotgun and shoots the dog.
The shotgun is loaded with #8 duck shot, hardly big enough to stop a
Black Lab. The dog stops for a moment, slightly confused, but
continues on. Another shot and this time the dog, still standing,
becomes really confused and of course terrified, thinking these two
Nobel Prize winners have gone insane. The dog takes off to find
cover, (with the now really short fuse burning on the stick of
dynamite) under the brand new Cherokee. ----BOOM!----

Dog and Cherokee are blown to bits and sink to the bottom of the
lake in a very large hole, leaving the two idiots standing there
with this "I can't believe this happened" look on their faces.

The insurance company says that sinking a vehicle in a lake by
illegal use of explosives is not covered. He still had yet to make
the first of those $400 a month payments!!!

And you thought your day was not going well?


Please be safe out there not stupid.
--

[CHARLIE]

Gordon, I'd sorta expect that of Michigan duck hunters.  The only time something like that might happen in Minnesota is if an Iowaegion came up here to hunt......right Eggsander?  

Also, I went deer hunting for the first time this year. Bought a brand new tree stand and full suit of camo. Sat in that danged tree all day and never saw hide nor hair of a deer. :-/   Funny thing was, when I left I noticed my hat was all wet. Must've been raining right where I was hunting 'cause the surrounding terrain was dry.  I think I'll give up deer hunting and stick to ducks.

[Eggsander]

You know I've heard that story before but no, I've never known anyone around here to go to that level of stupidity.
I Did talk to couple of fellows once that did it a different way many years back though. After a quick freeze so there were still a lot of ducks around, they walked there boats out on the ice and poured out laundry bluing and set there dekes in there. They said the ducks went nuts tryin' to land in that last spot of "open water".  
......Not sure that stuff was too good for the water though.

[Don P]

A young friend was over today helping me cut a gaping hole in the roof to install a new shedule 40 fluepipe ( yeah Bruce's mishap sorta encouraged me).
Anyway he helped remind me why we go into the woods to hunt. He saw a small black bear the other day below the tree stand. And yesterday a fawn and doe wandered beneath the stand. She looked up and grinned at him and he said he just cracked up.  Nothing in the freezer, but is that always the point....nah. He was off to go man the stand with his dad later today.

Montana is now giving a multiple choice test to prospective hunters to see if they can differentiate between a black bear and a griz. Now if we can just get one for deer and dogs and angus  .

We just entered black powder although my friend is using bow till rifle opens. Had a doe in the front yard 30 feet in front of the house yesterday before the dogs saw her  
He had to escort some folks around on our place a couple of weeks ago to find a 10 point they SHOT and lost...out of season, trespassing, and one he had been watching  

Hey you guys would know, how many white stripes is the old no hunting sign, and is it still recognized in lieu of posted signs?

[Bibbyman]

Son Chris spent a year in Montana guiding campers, fishermen, and hunters.  He always got a better tip if the saw grizzly bear.  One of the first guide tricks he picked up was to spot some droppings on the trail or around a campsite and proclaimed them to be from a black bear.  The tenderfoots would most always ask how you could tell black bear droppings from grizzly bear.  He say,  “Well,  Grizzly dropping usually contain things like belt buckles,  buttons, and eyeglass frames and such in it.”  

Another standing joke was.. Without fail, every woman on a trip would ask if there were restrooms along the way and at the campsite.   Chris would always truthfully reply; “Yes,  they are everywhere you’re likely to need one.”