A Funny Story

[Sprucegum]

When I was about 10 years old Larry and I decided we needed to practice our roping. We had already been warned to leave the calves alone and the sheep were to lazy to move so we headed for the pig barn.

I made a few tosses without catching anything; them Dang pigs are quick so Larry got a bright idea. I would climb on the shed roof, a low shed, only 7 feet to the peak, and dangle the lasso in front of the door. Larry would chase a pig out and I would catch it - easy as pie.

Getting up there was easy and dangling the loop was easy and catching the pig was easy and he jerked me off that roof like it was easy....hitting the ground was hard! even with the 4 inches of mud to break my fall. Pig pen mud is a very special kind of mud 

[H60 Hawk Pilot]

Big Smile's for Sprucegum...you and I were great roper's (well sort of) & we had similiar & brilliant ideas... here's mine.

We had river bottom ground and big hay fields that were flat and smooth to run on. I got two old Harley's, one running & one for parts, they were 1947 (61 C.I.) knuckle heads.

My buddy Roy drove and I was behind him on the big buddy seat. We made about four try's until I lasso'd a big doe.  I had the rope tied off to the front end of the bike. I had a folding knife in my pocket for... just in case I needed it (glad I did).

Man what a mistake to rope that deer, she went crazy and jumped around like a kanger-roo. In the course of  3 or 4 minutes... ahe beat us up pretty good with >> rope burns, bruises and those hard feet of her's but a real hurten on us. Finally she ran out of rope and wound around the motorcycle (laid on it's side) with the rope on her.  I was able to cut the rope off her neck and she was free of us and we were double DanG glad to be free of her.

Roy & me Laughed & Laughed.... even though that deer but some good lick's on us.  We still laugh when we talk about the old times and how kids had great fun in the old days.

If you ya want to hear it, I'll share my story about the Air Bike I made and pulling the big old Bob Sled with chain's on the Harley ?

[Slabs]

Avery, you got a death wish.  No wonder you took up helicopters.

[sawdust]

Old aint dead

I get into some strange situations at work I always snicker about this.

We were transporting this elderly lady somewhere for tests. She was about 90, tiny, demure, classy and in full possession of her faculties.
I told her that I could adjust the temperature in the ambulance to what ever would make her comfortable. Smiling up at me she said that she was a bit cold "but I don't know that there is enough room for the both of us on this bed"
I'm not speechless often.
DC

[Patty]

I bet you blushed, didn't you! 

You probably made her day, just being polite and so kind.

[Jeff]

sawdust, that brought a big smile to me this morning.

[H60 Hawk Pilot]

I Have a Speechless Experience to Share.

I was working in Mojave, CA at the time as a H-60 maint. test pilot and part timing as a diesel mechainc on GSA vehicles at Edward's Airforce Base. I worked for a friend of mine that had a contract with Edward's. I had just left his shop  on a Saturday and was going to stop at a little bar in Lancaster that had live music in the late afternoon. Going to the bar... I saw a little car do something that I thought was impossible and it was... it crashed big time. The car was a litttle TR-6, a two seater convertible. The car was coming toward me on the two lane rural road. This happened in the high desert near Lancaster, the car turned about 60 degrees and shot across my lane about 100 yards in front of me. My brain said, ain't No car made that can do that and keep from rolling over but it did not roll. The TR6 nosed (road was 4 or 5 ft. higher) into the desert and flipped end over end.  I saw a big clould of dust and thought I saw something fly out of the car but was not sure.  I pulled over to the side of the road and dust was just settling and I saw something (a human form) sticking up and ran over.  It was a women and she was just sitting there and not a sound from here. She looked like she had been covered with about a 50 lb. sack of fine talumun powder. She was batting her eyes and trying to focus her eyes. I asked if she was Ok, finally, she said, I'm Ok I think.  She asked about her friend -- Steve.  I saw him a few feet away and he was just starting to move. Steve was laying flat on the ground and covered with dust too but had jeans on.

They both got up (slowly) and then I noticed the women was completely naked... just finely dusted. She was about a 8.8 with lot's of dust and most likely a 10 without dust (little joke  .  I asked them... what happened and they said, it happened so quick, the car just shot across the road.  I went over to the car and it had beer cans in it and smelled that way too. I asked them about going to the hospital and they said they were Ok.  She asked for a ride to her mom's house that was close by.  I went to my 1 ton service truck and got a spare uniform shirt out of the cab and gave it to her (Ya, I'm a Officer & Gentleman type, most of the time).

We were going down the road and my little mind was smiling & trying to figure out what really happened. I thought that some type of >> in the car antic's were in play << for the car to dart across the road like that; and Lucky for them they did not get hurt.  I was Speechless when I saw this accident happen and then... a very pretty nude (a dusty 8. gal to boot. Also, I forgot to get my shirt back but that was no big deal, it was worth this crazy experience.  I continued on to the little bar and had a good meal. I had a couple beer's too and set back and had some smile's come to mind (what had happened that afternoon). I remember that the band played good oldies, the lead singer did the song " La Bama "... and he did it really well. It was a great afternoon, I was glad to be alive and ain't life something ! ? !

Yep.. Fond Memories and Speechless to-This- Day About that One !

Avery

[Paul_H]

My daughter Jodi called a couple days ago and told me about the Christmas Eve dinner our family had.(we couldn't attend)

She sat across the table from my Dad and my Uncle Thor after dinner.Thor's batteries in his hearing aid died and he coouldn't hear.My Dad took the batteries out of his and gave them to Thor who is far more deaf.

Thor said "thats way better" and my Dad said "hey?"

[Tom]

That's great!!  You have a daughter with a good sense of humor.   

That would have gone right over the head of most folks. 

[SwampDonkey]

Not me, I know some old farts take the batteries or aides out all together.  Much quieter.

[Paul_H]

Do they turn their backs toward you too,Bill? 

[SwampDonkey]

No, they just read lips and say Ha?!? to annoy ya. Put my hand up to my mouth while talking to return the gesture.   Sometimes it's more peaceful for the old fart to not be annoyed by family members nagging about batteries and turning the darn aid up. Can get on a man's nerves.